Sounds like a great way to fake your death. The only problem is that everyone will think you died driving a Tesla.
this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2026
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Good point. Back to the drawing board.
No one's going to believe a drawing board disappeared a body.
Ehhh, you'd be surprised what the modern drawing board can do.
It... also costs ~~100k~~
Edit: sorry, sorry, 70k — much better
I mean if you're faking your death I don't think you're planning on paying off the loan
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He says the trucks are “apocalypse-proof” and claims they can withstand bullets and have “armor glass” windows.
They also withstand emergency responders and the occupant's attempts to escape.
Chances of you experiencing the apocalypse - Zero
Chances you will get trapped in an Cybercuck and be unable to get out - Not zero
Elon is building both the "apocalypse-proof" (they are not) truck and the apocalypse (he really is)
Let's face face it. The most likely apocalypse is an economic crash brought on by the kind of crop of idiots. Not sure how a car is going to help with that.
Don't Teslas have the highest crash fatality stats on the road or something? Terrible company.
Cybertrucks are 17 times more likely to kill you in a fiery way than the Ford Pinto, the previous record holder.
https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2025/02/report-cybertruck-safety-ford-pinto/
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Fires that entrap passengers are a well-documented and recurring problem with every model in Tesla’s lineup of vehicles, but Cybertrucks appear to have a disproportionate number of known deaths. Safety experts have told the Guardian that the truck’s unique design amplifies the deadly issue. The vehicles come with high-density laminated windows that are harder to break than regular car windows, making escape and rescue difficult when doors won’t unlock. And the trucks are built with materials not commonly used in the industry, like stainless steel, which can complicate the work of emergency responders. The Cybertruck is also the first Tesla model to entirely eliminate door handles on the outside of the vehicle.
First, "unique" design? It's an ugly callback to the wedge-shaped cars of the 80s. It looks like a DeLorean model that refused to render properly, and the dev just went with it.
Second, the decision to exclude door handles is fucking mental. It's a mundane feature that cars have had since the Model T. If they wanted to make a pickup, its handles should resemble those found on a typical pickup. If it's "aesthetics" they're after (which shouldn't matter when it comes to a pickup), some of the best looking cars have had no problem including door handles into its design.
The reason to eliminate door handles that Tesla and others typically give is aerodynamic efficiency. Granted there are other bigger aerodynamic problems. gestures at the rest of the fucking truck
The improvement removing the handles is there, but negligible. Especially considering the safety implications. Didn't China ban flush door handles for safety reasons?
Didn’t China ban flush door handles for safety reasons?
Yeah, but that literally just happened last month and doesn't take effect until January 2027. It's not like they did that years ago because they saw it coming.
That's just nonsense justification they came up with after the fact. Ferraris have door handles, so clearly they're not much of an issue.
Anyway the car isn't going to exceed 80 miles an hour anyways so aerodynamics barely comes into it.
It looks like a DeLorean model that refused to render properly
Lmao
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ouch oof my bones
You have 30 seconds to escape your car
You have 10 seconds
Your car has been incinerated
Your car has burned your bones to ash
You have 30 minutes to collect your ash
cybertruck is a built in crematorium and Coffin at the same time,elon makes nazi impressed.
I can’t fathom having my husband burn to death so badly that he’s just .. evaporated. But then again I can’t imagine my husband ever wanting a cybercuck so there’s also that.
The Ford Pinto wishes it was this deadly...
Cant wait til they start taking volunteers for the Mars rocket
The Tesla Crematoria
+$599 Tesla Seatbottom Urn available in 2 colors.
POINT AND LAUGH
I do this every time I see one of those dorks driving one around.
A true Tesla them, no?
A literal dumpster fire.
On the fiery side, we might have MAGA troops manning Tesla Tanks.
Damn near 100% of the owners. The Nazimobiles came out after Elon needed all that Saudi money to get him out of the hole he dug saying he'd buy Twitter and in turn started amplifying chud propaganda on Twitter at their request. Anyone with a preorder had an opportunity to cancel and get their money back to not support a fascist. Fuck 'em. Let them eat fire.
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