this post was submitted on 15 May 2026
86 points (98.9% liked)

Not The Onion

21495 readers
965 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Another day, another Cybertruck being towed from somewhere nobody really ought to need a tow from. Take a look, Toyota Sienna to the rescue.

top 48 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] megopie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

The amount of pick ups that get stuck on beaches will never not be funny.

Like, yah, cool, you got it lifted, you put big off road tires on it. It’s still got shit ground pressure, it’s too fucking heavy for that kind of terrain, especially with such comparatively small wheels. There are pickups that can be modified to handle beaches and sand, but they’re the smaller ones that aren’t starting with a massive handicap from weight.

There is a reason dune buggies are small and light, there is a reason tanks have tracks.

But doing it with a cyber truck is an extra level of stupid.

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 9 points 1 day ago
[–] Etterra@discuss.online 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That video has a distinctive lack of people pointing and laughing and I am so disappointed.

[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago

Maybe everyone was tired from all the pointing and laughing when the Cyberidiot first turned up at the beach?

[–] Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (6 children)

I don't get why people use cars to drive onto beaches. Why not park nearby then walk a bit?

[–] A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip 1 points 6 hours ago

Hmm, maybe cybertrucks only have a bad rep because of their drivers? Wouldn't that be funny.

[–] macaw_dean_settle@lemmy.world 2 points 18 hours ago

Sounds like someone has never driven on a beach.

[–] skooma_king@piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I live somewhere that has miles of beaches and some are world class fishing spots that are really only reasonable to get to if you drive when you consider all the gear you carry with you. There are plenty of spots you can just pull off the side of the road or park in a lot and have a great day at the beach, but not everything is walk accessible for some sports like surfing or fishing.

[–] Inucune@lemmy.world 1 points 17 hours ago

More than a pole, backpack and tackle box to fish? Sounds like too much work to be fishing.

[–] Cocodapuf@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

As someone who lives in a region that gets a lot of snow, I know that basically any vehicle can get stuck. When you get unlucky, or do something dumb, you can end up in a position where you simply don't have any traction.

But that's the thing, you can usually avoid the situation by not doing something dumb, like driving right up onto the beach. And if you are driving on an unstable surface like sand or snow, accelerate slowly and decisively, don't floor it and then stop or you'll roll back into the rut you just made.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I'd also assume sand driving is like snow driving in that appropriate tires are far more critical to performance than the vehicle drivetrain

Edit: holy crap I can write coherent sentences! honest!

[–] NotMyOldRedditName@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I think I read at one point also lowering the pressure in the tire helps as well, but not sure how low you could safely go. You want more surface area on sand.

Edit: someone lower in the comments says 15psi

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah I've seen that for bikes but also sand and gravel works very differently from snow under tires

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 2 points 1 day ago

And weight is a factor too. The lbs/in on that things tires has to be far more than any other offroader, and wet sand is going to give far sooner than dry, packed sand. Snow and ice might actually be more stable than sand in most cases, the physics are different.

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 0 points 1 day ago

Usually beer, laziness, and american football tailgating culture

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today -1 points 2 days ago

they think it can move on water or through it.

[–] nkat2112@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

And then the Swasticar exploded.

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago

And everybody clapped.

[–] kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

The cybertrash is the dumbest & ugliest vehicle i ve seen. Whoever bought one was very clearly in dire need to make a political statement, and only had a tangential need in a car

[–] FatVegan@leminal.space 2 points 2 days ago

It's either political or tgey fell fir the badass Armageddon vehicle that can drive over your vehicle if i want to schtick. Either way, it has to be some sort of IQ teat that people just failed. It's even more disappointing when they leave burger country.

[–] CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm extremely impressed by everyone's actions in the video. Normally people who are stuck think you need to spin the wheels at 100mph to get unstuck rather than maintaining traction by using very little throttle. People using straps or chains typically think you need to "get a run at it" and take up the slack by accelerating away at 30mph, only to have their bumper ripped off. Here, both drivers did an excellent job.

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don't know why but I've been watching Matt's Offroad Recovery videos and they often do the fast yank with one of their vehicles.

[–] Thteven@lemmy.world 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sounds like a great way to end up with a bent frame lol

[–] Blaster_M@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

they use "kinetic recovery ropes" which are basically fancy bungee cords - instead of a hammer blow when it pulls tight, it stretches like a rubber band so it puts a lot of pressure over time instead of all at once.

[–] frank@sopuli.xyz 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Man that tow strap is going to a comically mysterious place inside the cabin. I cannot believe whatever it was attached to didn't break

[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

they just used the seatbelt

[–] KayLeadfoot@fedia.io 1 points 1 day ago

what's the difference between a 200 pound average male passenger and a 2026 Cybertruck RWD at 6,117 pound curb weight?

It's mostly in your head, I feel like.

[–] A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip 0 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Source:
A mom in a Toyota Sienna pulls a Cybertruck out of a treacherous sandpit

What 4WD truck is unable to get out of this?
The Toyota probably has front wheel drive only.

And who didn't get the memo yet that Cybertrucks are notoriously useless in any real offroad situation.

Fuck Elon, Fuck TESLA and it's a disguised blessing because it helps other e-car manufacturers get a slice of market. Yay!

[–] Mpatch@lemmy.world 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Torque vectoring. Is 10/10

[–] A_norny_mousse@piefed.zip 1 points 6 hours ago

You mean on the cybercuck? I noticed that but it's just not enough to make me like it.

[–] Little8Lost@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The article says thats its one of the rare 2 wheelers

[–] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz -1 points 2 days ago

Yes, you only see the rear wheels spin. Also, the Toyota looks to not be in the sand pit.

[–] Hegar@fedia.io -1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

On one level i do have pity for anyone who got grifted by a nazi and wasted a bunch of money only to commit themselves to an endless stream of repairs and recalls while getting laughed at everywhere they go, all for a shit car with no resale value.

[–] ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Regular Tesla drivers who bought their vehicle several years ago, before Musk showed very clear signs of being a Nazi POS? Yeah I have some sympathy for them.

But Cybertruck users knew exactly who they were buying from. They deserve no sympathy.

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works -1 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Note that the van was on hard packed sand that is below the high tide line, and the Cybertruck is on the soft stuff.

This is mostly a reflection on the bozo driving the Cybertruck rather than the vehicle itself.

[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Yet, Cybertrucks are POS Nazi rigs.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Oh screw you, look at the wheels in the video.

It looks like both the front and the back are about to fall off...

[–] skooma_king@piefed.social 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

No they don’t? I don’t like Musk or Tesla but this happens all the time where I live because people don’t deflate their tires to ~15psi before driving on soft sand. Doesn’t matter what 4wd vehicle you use, if you don’t deflate, you are much more likely to get stuck.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

I don't give a shit how fast you can operate a steering wheel, those floppy front tires simply cannot turn back and forth / left and right that fast under proper operating conditions.

The vehicle is clearly damaged, as are all Cyberdumpsters, by definition.

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

https://www.thedrive.com/car-reviews/the-tesla-cybertrucks-steering-broke-my-brain

Cybertruck steering doesn't work like other vehicles, it's a steer by wire system, which is how the driver can go from lock to lock like that.

I don't know why you're getting so hung up on this.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Wheels (under human control) simply cannot steer that fast.

Something is wrong, and I think the vehicle is being steered by a squirrel brain.

You ever been out on a field doing donuts and tearing the grass up? Yeah, I have, I grew up on a junkyard, and I promise you that no human can steer the wheel back and forth that fast.

So I assume AI/Autopilot was at play here to steer like a spazzed out squirrel brain, while the goal was to simply go backwards.

Something seriously fucking wrong here...

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Didn't read the article, did you?

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world -1 points 2 days ago

Don't need to. There's tight steering, there's loose steering, and anything in between. And then there's an AI powered fucking retarded steering that doesn't comprehend how to go in reverse, in a singular simple reverse direction, but would rather twist its wheels left and right as fast as possible, to try to bury itself deeper in the sand..

[–] skooma_king@piefed.social 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

They are “floppy” because they likely deflated them after getting stuck. But if you want to let hatred blind your reasoning, go ahead.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Oh fuck you and go learn how to work on a vehicle. The fucking RIMS are flopping at the same rate, that ain't got shit to do with the tire pressure.

Also note, Tesla recalled some of their Cyberfucks for the wheels falling off. Please try to stay up to date..

[–] skooma_king@piefed.social 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

There’s nothing wrong with the rims at all. You are just a very angry, irrational person.

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's kinda weird. They want the Cybertruck to be the problem so badly, and it just isn't. And yet, they just keep arguing with everyone.

And insulting anyone who tries to explain it to them.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Just look at the recall list, it becomes obvious pretty quick.

Everything about the Cyberdumpster that's supposed to make for a safer vehicle, are the parts that fail the fastest..