Look, we at Fox can completely understand the Nazi tattoos, the work at Blackwater, and saying that wars and killing people are actually fun. But we draw the line at jacking off.
this post was submitted on 19 May 2026
69 points (100.0% liked)
Slop.
858 readers
509 users here now
For posting all the anonymous reactionary bullshit that you can't post anywhere else.
Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.
Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.
Rule 3: No sectarianism.
Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome
Rule 5: No bigotry of any kind, including ironic bigotry.
Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.
Rule 7: Do not individually target federated instances' admins or moderators.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Conservatism in a nutshell.
And that shell shall not be a toilet.
Lo didst the Lord sayeth: “jack not your dick in a portable lavatory, bust not in thine outhouse”
They can't attack him for his Blackwater stint (i even doubt most americans in general would care) because Fox loves that about him, so they have to do all this petty bs.
he wore a tan suit!
That's the most normal thing about him
Yeah, if it weren't for the tattoo fiasco and the blackwater stint, I'd consider posting about Jorkin it in a portapotty to be a plus ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Compared to having a Nazi tattoo I'd argue talking about cranking it in a porta-potty is pretty tame.
That’s the thing. The ooh rah shit that makes me question him? Media all for it. Jacking off and saying rude shit is humanizing. What’s Platner ashamed of? What’s the real scoop? Or is it just this?
Jorking it in a porta-shitter is a boot rite of passage. (vid's about a bunch of vtuber vets telling stories and trauma-dumping. They're LGBT+ friendly but crass as hell.)
Edit: I'm including their TW so anyone who watches more than the jorking blurb knows what to expect.
Platner, please go on Pendejo Time
I would rather leave it unjorked than consider a jork in a portapotty
"Now I love the mass killing, but talking about jacking off is a bridge too far. This is a Christian country afterall."
dudes rock
Jacksepticeye?!
Wait I think Fox News constructed this headline from "jerked off in a porta potty in Iraq and laughed at the shit people wrote on the door"
I'm pretty sure that's a qualification in much of Maine
"This is why Platner is the candidate we need" someone at the Jacobin, probably
GOP "strategists" say the pattern raises fundamental questions about his judgement and fitness for office.
Ah yes, 
as the paragons of character judgement of somebody's past posts.
I'm pretty sure literally every veteran, including every single one in elected office, has jerked off in a port-a-shitter
if only he was a drug-"catching" cop instead of an internally conflicted troop, we could call him Gram Planter
He is a cracker, so Graham Cracker works
😤
If Fox doesn’t support someone then I’m on board.