this post was submitted on 30 May 2026
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name
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Re-route power to the shields, emit a tachyon pulse through the deflector, and post all the nonsense you want. Within reason of course.
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Fun will now commence.
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The first person to discover teleportation could do this and cause riots
If it's me, I'm robbing the sperms bank
Everyone always goes for the money vault. I like to do things different.
I'm finding everyone I know who I don't like and taking their donation and putting it back in their fridge at home with a note that says "haha! Stole your sperms!" with hearts in the exclamation dots.
I love that
But I'd leave it on the bench, in the sun, so the sperm dies and I'd also crack the lid open so it's stinky
i mean yeah, but i don't want someone to lose their last sperms. it's just a prank
Oh, if I don't like someone, I'm definitely going to try to keep them from polluting the gene pool
see i don't really care about that, i'm not having kids so i don't really care about the gene pool. (also a lot of folk i know are great people to spite their shit parents. well also just for fun but also spite.)
The amazing digital circus
Best utter "Computer, end program." from time to time, just to be sure.
You're just an NPC. You don't have the permissions.
If you were an NPC, even if you did have the permissions, would you actually notice? You'd be ending at the same time as the program, and if and when the program started back up, you would have no reason to think that your command worked.
What if it never starts back up? The ship is abandoned. There's a last time for everything.
You wouldn't be aware of your own oblivion.
Rookie mistake.
"Computer, Anime Waifus, Hot."
A scorching hot 2700 Celsius anime girl appeared
Unless something is broken, the holodeck interpreters have tons of safety mechanisms and intent interpreters. It's not a monkey's paw.
Take a look around. That shit is off.
safety mechanisms
The sheer amount of "oh no the holodeck is broken" episodes suggests they are worthless.
He died doing what he loved.
Not his wife?
We couldn't be so lucky. Unless someone is running a simulation to see how the Eugenics Wars, Bell Riots, WW3 and Atomic Horror came to be
Doctor, he just keeps shouting "Arch! Computer, arch! Computer, end program!"
I would immediately say “Computer, arch.” just to check.
Computer, Arch, btw.
Did you say Arch~er~?
Who's the sick twisted arse hole that designed this program?
Computer delete the wife
Security reports Niles the butler from The Nanny has been spotted on deck 3.
Okay who’s the wise ass who just deleted my wife?
Just remember that any computer system operates by the GIGO principle:
Garbage In, Garbage Out.
(it's a trashcan, right?)
In what order does it come out?
FIFO? LIFO?
I'm no raccoon but I'm guessing LIFO?
Same way as my buttholes. Omnidirectional.
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Custom magnetic vinyl stickers are cheap nowadays I guess
"Computer, safeties off"
Wait, the safeties have been ON this whole time?
Of course. If you've ever been able to injure yourself, that just means you're one of the holograms.
Yes, the players were safe.
Do you see dimensional rifts or godlike beings popping in? No. That's because of the safeties.
Ethics express goes brrrr.
You monster, you've doomed us all!
And a bunch of misanthropes around here upvoted our doom.
Brilliant decal for public spaces.
What's the bad news??
That I'm part of the hologram about to get turned off?
That's just good news on top of good news!
yeah, i would just be glad that humanity survived as long to develop that kind of technology
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