this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] uberdroog@lemmy.world 5 points 1 hour ago

I told my boss I needed a raise. He said everyone needs a hustle. I told him my hustle is wage work. He advised some people will just sacrifice more. I said my time with my family was more important.

[–] guy@piefed.social 27 points 16 hours ago

Hello kids! Today we're learning about prostitution

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 26 points 17 hours ago

Strike up a conversation with a group of women

Alright, I'm out.

[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 12 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Ah yes, the old selling yourself for more riches and even more dignity. Go money! /s Now let's talk basic universal income. That one is a no-brainer that would solve a lot of social ills.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago

$50, then? What if I do one for free just to show you it's worth it?

[–] trashboypro@lemmy.blahaj.zone -1 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

How about abolishing money altogether and actually redistributing resources the way that everyone can live decently?

[–] MyVeryRealName@lemmy.world 5 points 16 hours ago

Abolishing money isn't necessary for everyone to live decently

[–] therealamack@lemmy.zip 12 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Can someone explain how dressing in basketball shorts and jersey factors in?

[–] draco_aeneus@mander.xyz 23 points 18 hours ago

Stereotypical "straight guy" clothes.

[–] RattlerSix@lemmy.world 43 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] nullspace@lemmy.world 27 points 21 hours ago

It is if you're a lazy bottom.

[–] zaph@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 day ago

It is if you were already going to go bar hopping with your makeout bro

[–] Phil_in_here@lemmy.ca 26 points 1 day ago (3 children)

So in one night, lets call it 8 hours from 6:00 - 2:00, you're out there approaching women, starting a conversation, leading that conversation naturally to kissing men, negotiating for $100, kissing your homie, then traveling to the next bar... every 24 minutes.

[–] Samskara@sh.itjust.works 6 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Once you have practiced this a bit, you might be able to complete the routine in ten minutes. You might be able to get more than 100$ at times, especially from larger groups. Selecting an area with lots of bars visited by hen parties is probably key for this.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 8 points 18 hours ago

Once you have practiced this a bit, you might be able to complete the routine in ten minutes.

10 minutes? More like one minute: "Hithereladies, howsyournightgoing? Kissingmenhuhwhatsthatallabout, I'dneverdoitespeciallynotwiththisguyhereyoucouldn'tpaymeto. Notforlessthat$100. brief tongue gargling Giveusmycashyoudummies. Seeyoubye!"

[–] Alsjemenou@lemy.nl 2 points 19 hours ago
[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 138 points 1 day ago

Someone will post this to LinkedIn without a hint of irony.

[–] xkbx@startrek.website 112 points 1 day ago (4 children)

ok but where does sucking the homie off play in all of this

[–] Astronut@lemmy.zip 79 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Is a blowjob really a job if you’re enjoying it?

[–] HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 hour ago

You've gotta get your foot in the door with a blowinternship

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 64 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It’s a blowhobby, perhaps even a blowcalling.

[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 12 points 1 day ago
[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 5 points 21 hours ago

Asking the real questions.

[–] Gormadt@slrpnk.net 33 points 1 day ago

That's just a brojob, that's standard operating procedure.

Context

[–] X@piefed.world 7 points 1 day ago

the only thing really stopping you two is you two

[–] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 49 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What’s your job? I kiss my homies

In a world with AI grindsets, influencer slopfests, and governmental grifting, we need more respectable professions like this.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 81 points 1 day ago (4 children)

What part of this is passive?

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 50 points 1 day ago (2 children)

If you're having fun at your job, you'll never work a day in your life.

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It puts the ass in passive

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

In the community we refer to it as "bottom"

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

It’s passive for the bottom

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I wonder what Andrew Taint would have to say about this.

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Bruh it's totally not homo if it's for the Grind™, these stupid femoids just think we're both so hot and want to fuck us anyway"

[–] nullspace@lemmy.world 4 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Bro can I send you $200 for an online course on how to be as based as you? This shit belongs in a podcast.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago

You've got a good eye for new content. Where can I tune in for more of your reactions and recommendations?

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 21 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Assuming this kind of wager is more likely in a nightclub with drunk people (that brought party money) then a regular bar.

Some have entree fees, and the oned that do have more chance to find richer drunk people.

Gotta pay expensive drinks for you and homie to not stand out and appear massively sus, what you're doing is relatively mild but people can’t tell your not planning worse, so act normal, casual.

May take a while to find a good target, depending on the crowd size you only have one shot to smooth talk your way into it.

In the meantime your spending time, possibly gas finding new locations. Local employees will equally catch on also if you do it too often the same spot.

In the end gotta split the profits with your partner

Might be above minimum wage but far from big money. The only reason to get big money is dumb luck where your victim is an actual rich person that does not care.

Rope the bars in. Gas isn't something that should be happening drinking.

[–] Prove_your_argument@piefed.social 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

By this logic everyone should be a prostitute on top of whatever their hustle is. Just saying.

[–] ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 day ago

Yes. Obviously. Fucking pinko, are you not?

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well this dystopia economy when you have go around making out with your male friend to make extra money.

What happens if you do it and they don't pay? Also call BS in this economy people can pony up 100 bucks for this?

[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

If they can afford drinks in an uptown bar, they can scrounge up $100 between them. It's called wealth redistribution.

[–] sangeteria@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Use sign language

If homie doesn't want any of that money, you might have a boyfriend.

[–] Zwiebel@feddit.org 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Isn't sex work illegal in the 'freedom' country

[–] bridgeburner@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

Just record it, then it is porn and that's legal

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It’s not sex work, it’s just a friendly wager :D

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

"I bet you can't suck me off in under five minutes."

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