this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2026
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Everyday I fantasizes about feeding the bourgeoisie to komodo dragons after the revolution. As the news about his ailing health trickles in, I'm slowly realizing that I will never see Mitch McConnell being eaten alive by komodo dragons

doggirl-cry doggirl-cry doggirl-cry doggirl-cry doggirl-cry

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[–] someone@hexbear.net 30 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I feel the same about Kissinger not living long enough to see the US eat shit in Iran.

[–] Jew@hexbear.net 25 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I mean hey at least he stayed dead for it dead-motherfucker

[–] BanMeFromPosting@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago

He did live long enough to watch things fall apart though

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 19 points 3 days ago (2 children)

i always get very disappointed with the left every time a demon dies of old age.

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 22 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm still riding that Charlie Kirk high

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 15 points 3 days ago

that was honestly beautiful

it's an excuse to drink at least

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 22 points 3 days ago

It's always so disappointing when terrible people don't die screaming

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 15 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

If it's any consolation he's being eaten alive by neuropathy

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago

Maybe...just this once...AI "art" could serve a purpose?

But no. It just wouldn't be the same sicko-wistful

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

He's not dead yet so have hope child.

[–] axont@hexbear.net 9 points 3 days ago

He's supposedly brain dead so he wouldn't even suffer. He'd just be a shitty meal for the lizards

[–] Kuori@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago

i always hoped it would happen on live TV so i could watch

[–] SerialExperimentsGay@hexbear.net 8 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Honestly, i think komodo dragons are a bit overrated, asian water monitors or crocodile monitors are much cooler and not that much smaller. Croc monitors in particular also have an incredibly vicious bite, they have these super sharp steak knife teeth that are the longest teeth of all monitor lizard species, they could have taken Mitch Mc Connel apart like a rotisserie chicken.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You just know he already has the consistency of pulled pork

I actually had a really good vegan pulled pork sandwich after the pride parade last weekend. It has been said on here that McConnel counts as vegan, and i have been compared to a monitor lizard before. I'm mentioning all of these entirely unrelated things for no specific reason.

[–] micnd90@hexbear.net 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Fair point, but I don't think monitor lizards will tear Mitch McConnell limbs to limbs like a group of komodo dragons would. They also can't swallow Mitch McConnell whole. So I would still prefer to throw Mitch McConnell into the komodo dragon pit. We can consider throwing someone annoying like Ben Shapiro into the monitor lizard pit, that'll be funnier

[–] TheModerateTankie@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Theyre going to keep him alive with whatever black magic the rich have to stay alive into their hundreds, and then wheel his barely sentient decaying body out so he can vote yea on the "kkk are freedom fighters" bill.

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Using McConnell's rotting corpse as an AI sockpuppet so he can keep the Supreme Court red

[–] TheModerateTankie@hexbear.net 3 points 3 days ago

And he will somehow invent real daleks

[–] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 4 points 2 days ago

He has so much research chemicals pumping through his veins rn thats its probably animal abuse to feed him to anything

[–] robotElder2@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago

When it finally happens we must dig the fuckers up and put the bones through a show trial, im not kidding.

[–] dragongloss@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago

One of the greatest tragedies of our time. catgirl-cry

How can all of you be so heartless? Look at this wholesome man! He doesn't deserve this hate!

[–] DelgadoSlims@hexbear.net 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Be the change you wish to see in the world

[–] micnd90@hexbear.net 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Your mission is to kidnap Mitch McConnell out of Walter Reed hospital and leave him for dead inside the komodo dragon enclosure at Smithsonian National Zoo

fedposting

[–] BanMeFromPosting@hexbear.net 3 points 3 days ago

Sounds like the concept of a great jazzpunk level

Tttthat's the great pppart Morty! Infinite realities means there's at least one where Mitch McConnell's entire existence is being eaten alive by komodo dragons! Yyyyyou just have to believe, mmorty

[–] axont@hexbear.net 3 points 3 days ago

Yeah well I want them eaten by a group of mutated giant mantises

Imagine my pain. At least komodo dragons exist.