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sneeze rule (slrpnk.net)
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[-] Sabata11792@kbin.social 76 points 8 months ago

I say "god damn you" to unwork the broken blessing system.

[-] gibmiser@lemmy.world 66 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Instead try this: Say "What?" And stare at them. Wait for them to explain. Act as though you do not know what a sneeze is. Allow them to explain the process of a sneeze. Tell them you have never experienced that in your life. Wait for them to get exasperated then in a dismissive way mention that you aren't sure you believe them, and change the subject.

Congratulations, you have won this interaction.

[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 5 points 8 months ago

The ol' smooth shark maneuver

[-] CarlsIII@kbin.social 39 points 8 months ago

I like to say “acknowledged!” like Picard

[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 21 points 8 months ago

"I'm going to sneeze."

"Make it so!"

[-] CertifiedBlackGuy@lemmy.world 11 points 8 months ago

"You may fire when ready."

[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 7 points 8 months ago
[-] MartinXYZ@sh.itjust.works 6 points 8 months ago

His name is spelled with one "l"; "Wil"

(He'll probably block me for that, if he's on Lemmy)

[-] shiveyarbles@beehaw.org 3 points 8 months ago

Steady.....

[-] danc4498@lemmy.world 33 points 8 months ago

I always say “shut up” in the most annoyed way possible.

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[-] doingthestuff@lemmy.world 29 points 8 months ago

I don't see anything wrong with gesundheit. It means health. And really I feel like the German expression is just saying - be healthy dammit, and stop sneezing!

[-] onion@feddit.de 5 points 8 months ago

You can also say "Schönheit – gesund biste ja": "Beauty – you're already healthy after all"

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[-] PlasterAnalyst@kbin.social 22 points 8 months ago

People who intentionally yell when they sneeze can fuck off.

[-] VoilaChihuahua@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago

It feels very good, like physically itches the inside back of my throat (amazing if you're having an allergic response to something), while being deeply psychologically satisfying to yell from your abdomen. I try to only do it at home, but there's a reason some people scream-sneeze.

[-] Repelle@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

I vocalize pretty loudly when I sneeze and it’s entirely involuntary. I hate that I do it and I’ve tried to force myself to stop and it doesn’t work.

[-] BeefPiano@lemmy.world 22 points 8 months ago
[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 20 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

"Fucking grow up."

[-] TalesFromTheKitchen@lemmy.ml 14 points 8 months ago
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[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 13 points 8 months ago

This was covered extensively on an episode of Seinfeld

[-] PM_ME_FEET_PICS@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 months ago

You're soooooo good looking.

[-] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 3 points 8 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Seinfeld

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

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[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 12 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

sneeze once "Bless you."

Sneeze twice "Gesundheit."

Sneeze three times "Ok now you're just fishing for attention."

[-] lugal@sopuli.xyz 12 points 8 months ago

"I hate when you do that"

That's my favorite

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[-] 018118055@sopuli.xyz 11 points 8 months ago

"Satan curse you"

[-] taaz@biglemmowski.win 11 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)
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[-] thejml@lemm.ee 11 points 8 months ago

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” - in a Siri voice “Nah, I’m good, thanks though.” “Dude! You scared the crap outta me!”

[-] Funkymatt@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago

I always 'shhhh' like a librarian would

[-] zib@kbin.social 8 points 8 months ago

I usually go with "None of that"

[-] DauntingFlamingo@lemmy.ml 8 points 8 months ago
[-] BlastboomStrice@mander.xyz 8 points 8 months ago

In Greece we say "Γείτσες", which is a dimunitive for "Υγεία" (=Health), so essentially its like wishing the other person to be healthy.

[-] tweeks@feddit.nl 6 points 8 months ago

We say the same in the Netherlands, and sometimes we also say the equivalent for "cheers", not sure why though.

[-] germanatlas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 8 months ago

"Well done" and "clean that up" are my favourites

[-] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

I like to say GOD BLESS YOU in the most dramatic exaggerated way possible immediately after I sneeze so I beat everyone to the punch. You can't bless me bitches.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

"Don't you dare ask God to help me," Crawford reportedly snapped at the nurses praying at her bedside, before moments later the Academy Award winner took her final breath.

https://www.express.co.uk/entertainment/films/1749878/joan-crawford-final-words-spt

[-] jonsnothere@beehaw.org 6 points 8 months ago

In Dutch you can say "you sneezed"

[-] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 7 points 8 months ago

So the expected response in Dutch is to just tell someone they sneezed?

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[-] rbos@lemmy.ca 6 points 8 months ago

Sneezing isn't normal! I never sneeze.

[-] Denvil@lemmy.one 8 points 8 months ago

I sneeze multiple times daily whenever I go outside because of ACHOO Syndrome (yes that is a real name lol)

[-] rbos@lemmy.ca 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

You poor dear! You should see a doctor. IT IS NOT NORMAL TO SNEEZE!

reference

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[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

"I disagree"

[-] potpotato@artemis.camp 4 points 8 months ago
[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

I always tell my partner to cut it out when they sneeze.

[-] dustyCheese@beehaw.org 4 points 8 months ago

Sneezing isn’t normal, I never sneeze

[-] m3t00@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

get any on you?

[-] Gaspar@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 8 months ago

"Heard, chef"

[-] ooterness@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

I prefer the simple "Curse you."

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this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2023
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