566
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 133 points 8 months ago

I know it's a joke but if this was a man posting a dildo with the same text he'd get flamed

[-] Sprucie@feddit.uk 123 points 8 months ago

If it was a bar of soap moulded into a cock though we'd probably be seeing a pretty similar post

[-] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 53 points 8 months ago

Rubbing soap on your dick is safe though.

Sticking soap up your snizz is how you get an infection.

load more comments (9 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 48 points 8 months ago

Idk man, fucking a bar of soap, clearly on the reg , and leaving it for the world to see is a bit different. Plus I feel like most dildo users have the presence of mind to put that shit up when they're done.

[-] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago

My ex would disagree as she'd leave hers lying out even when we had company over.

We were both also very mental unwell so that could be a part of it

[-] shalafi@lemmy.world 11 points 8 months ago

That was made that way for the joke. How would you even begin fucking a flat bar of soap? Even pre-drilled, it would wear out too fast to be any fun.

Don't use conditioner guys!!!

For the 4th time (I'm an idiot) I got serious dick issues. Don't know if it dries the skin out or what, but the end gets hypersensitive, turns dark red, skin turns black and peels off, hurts like hell, and then you get nice, new pink skin. It's painful and revolting and takes about a week for the whole process.

Thought was just me until I saw a reddit post a few months back. LOTS of dudes experiencing the same exact thing.

Don't use conditioner guys!!!

[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 11 points 8 months ago

What in the bed bath and beyond is this shit

[-] MadBob@feddit.nl 10 points 8 months ago

Would you mind choosing a verb other than "use" so I know what in God's name I shouldn't be doing with conditioner?

[-] shalafi@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago

If the context didn't provide, I meant jacking off. Paddling the pink canoe. Abusing the wicked stick. Battling the purple-headed yogurt slinger. Shaking hands with the milkman. Boxing the one-eyed champ. Taking the self-guided tour.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 26 points 8 months ago

If this were a woman posting a dildo she’d get flamed. Use sex toys all you want, but don’t fuck soap, it’s ironically unsanitary

load more comments (5 replies)
[-] scottywh@lemmy.world 24 points 8 months ago

A shower dildo left there to be found? No.. that'd be fuckin weird too

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Draegur@lemm.ee 124 points 8 months ago

Stupid. This dude has the cleanest dick in the country.

"Eew this penis is too clean to go inside my body" that's what this whiny bitch sounds like.

No, they totally SHOULD leave. They are clearly too filthy for this CLEAN KING.

[-] FeetinMashedPotatoes@lemmy.world 18 points 8 months ago

"yeah baby you like my baby smooth dick?"

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Shayeta@feddit.de 87 points 8 months ago

Hey, at least you can be sure it's clean.

[-] MrGG@lemmy.ca 63 points 8 months ago

He'd end up disappointed that her pussy doesn't bubble during sex, anyway.

[-] the_joeba@lemmy.world 32 points 8 months ago
[-] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 23 points 8 months ago

Whoever your point of reference is, tell them to go to the doctor.

[-] And009@reddthat.com 24 points 8 months ago
load more comments (5 replies)
[-] EyIchFragDochNur@feddit.de 62 points 8 months ago

Because real men wait until marriage to masturbate

[-] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 25 points 8 months ago

I mean, it just never occured to me to drill a hole in a bar of soap, lotion and Palmela Handerson work just fine.

[-] Lemminary@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago

That's funny. We say Manuela in Spanish because "mano" means hand

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Pinklink@lemm.ee 37 points 8 months ago

That’s just a handhold so you don’t drop it

[-] 100_percent_a_bot@lemmy.world 32 points 8 months ago

“It's a part of me and I can wash it however fast I like!"

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Slovene@feddit.nl 32 points 8 months ago
[-] pigup@lemmy.world 21 points 8 months ago
[-] CCF_100@sh.itjust.works 17 points 8 months ago

What a terrible day to have eyes

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world 28 points 8 months ago

How else are you suppose to clean it?

[-] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 24 points 8 months ago

Look, if there’s a more subtle cock soap, I’m all ears.

[-] icerunner_origin@startrek.website 13 points 8 months ago

If you're all ears, how would you propose to use the soap?

[-] Introversion@kbin.social 9 points 8 months ago

Perhaps he’s Ferengi?

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] ohlaph@lemmy.world 20 points 8 months ago

I didn't know that was an option.

[-] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 19 points 8 months ago

Chill he was just blowing bubbles

[-] johker216@lemmy.world 24 points 8 months ago

He also knows Bubbles? Small world!

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] art@lemmy.world 18 points 8 months ago

At least it's clean.

[-] qyron@sopuli.xyz 16 points 8 months ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 16 points 8 months ago

Innocent, I'm not that big.

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 16 points 8 months ago

Soap is abrasive. His dick fucked up.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] BuffLemmyworlder@lemmy.world 15 points 8 months ago

His penis will burn from that

load more comments (5 replies)
[-] ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago

Soap on a rope, but slipped off the rope?

[-] KISSmyOS@lemmy.world 13 points 8 months ago

How else are you gonna tie the rope to it?

[-] JustMy2c@lemm.ee 10 points 8 months ago

The butt cleaning rope?

[-] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 13 points 8 months ago

Yeah leave bitch, he clearly doesn't need you

[-] kttnpunk@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago

Poor dude probably just dug out the prize lol

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Shadywack@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago

There was a head out alright.

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023
566 points (97.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

25878 readers
3225 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS