this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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Subscription airbag (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 years ago by alexandra_kollontai@hexbear.net to c/the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net
63 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Image description:

Tweet: Okay I thought this one straight up has to be hyperbole, there's no way they'd make an airbag that checks your subscription status or it doesn't go off, but it's fucking TRUE: "Without the subscription service from In&Motion, the airbag system is non-operational."

Quoted tweet: Reminder that Klim makes a motorcycle airbag vest that has a subscription service and if you don't pay and get in a wreck it just doesn't go off

Google results screenshot: Ai-1 Airbag Vest (Klim) - Choose from $12/month or $120/year subscription options, which include...

Original tweet dated 30th April 2021

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[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 76 points 2 years ago (4 children)

This is absolutely going to get somebody who had a subscription killed because the airbag couldn't connect to the service to check in the 1/4 of a second it had to go off.

[–] context@hexbear.net 55 points 2 years ago (3 children)

that's absurd, it probably checks in periodically when it's in range of service and then decides whether to brick itself. it's going to get somebody who had a subscription killed because of a database error or bugged firmware update.

[–] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 48 points 2 years ago (5 children)

Okay, so apparently there's an indicator light at the beginning that tells you if your subscription is active. Presumably they have at least one person who passed their realtime programming course and it's designed around making sure you never give off a green light unless the suit is ready to inflate.

But a company that charges a subscription for airbag deployment may be too cheap to hire actual software engineers lmao

[–] silent_water@hexbear.net 36 points 2 years ago

Presumably they have at least one person who passed their realtime programming course and it's designed around making sure you never give off a green light unless the suit is ready to inflate.

wheeze

[–] hotcouchguy@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago

Surely the "subscription airbag" company understands design of safety-critical systems amd would not cut corners for the sake of profit.

[–] context@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

okay so bugged firmware update, then

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago

I get frustrated when a game glitches out, but it's ludicrous that this could happen with an airbag.

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[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 30 points 2 years ago (1 children)

reupping my subscription on the road and dying because I didn't drive close enough to any routers

[–] FishLake@lemmygrad.ml 26 points 2 years ago

“Your Honor, the records clearly state the deceased was in violation of the terms of service due to dying during the payment processing window.”

[–] silent_water@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)

you say it's absurd but you haven't met the techbros I have

[–] context@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

i have but i was pretending not to for the purposes of the bit to play with some other failure modes, in truth i acknowledge that the possibility of that is not so absurd

[–] hotcouchguy@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Screaming "siri renew my airbag subscription!" as I'm flying through the air

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[–] silent_water@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago

The Ai-1 Airbag Vest and In&Box DPP (Detect-Protect-Perfect) platform is the first continually evolving motorcycle protection technology driven by artificial intelligence.

absolutely-safe-capsule

[–] Sinistar@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

Honestly just having the airbag be electronic is dangerous enough. Imagine dying because you forgot to plug your airbag in a couple days in a row and the battery was out.

[–] viva_la_juche@hexbear.net 49 points 2 years ago (1 children)

STOP PUTTING THE INTERNET INTO EVERYTHING!!! STOP MAKING EVERYTHING A SUBSCRIPTION MODEL!!! NOOOOO STOOPPPP

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 22 points 2 years ago

porky-scared-flipped but I just want an unlimited constant income stream with no more effort! Meritocracy!

[–] Mindfury@hexbear.net 42 points 2 years ago (2 children)

hitting this dude with that dolphin device and watching his airbag inflate and deflate every 5 seconds

[–] oregoncom@hexbear.net 26 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I think this vest uses a proprietary canister so it can only go off once.

[–] Sinistar@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You gotta get it re-charged by sending it in. You can't just buy the canister.

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[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 41 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

how-much-could-it-cost It's $12 a month, surely you loony leftists can afford that.

[–] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 35 points 2 years ago (1 children)

wait so the vest is networked?

next question: is it secure?

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago

The S in IoT stands for Security

[–] WeedReference420@hexbear.net 35 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Somehow the stupidest thing happened and we live in the Watch_Dogs imagined future where hackers will be able to kill you with your internet-of-things connected vegetable juice machine.

[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago

That's why you buy the juicero instead, the packets are all it works with so hackers can't kill you with it

Truly ahead of its time and all times really, yet another win for the juicero galaxy-brain

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago (1 children)

porky-happy You will own nothing and be happy.

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 22 points 2 years ago

You will own nothing

*happiness costs extra

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 26 points 2 years ago (2 children)

There are many things that make me glad that I am not a motorcycle guy

This is one of them

[–] Sinistar@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

There are airbags out there that use a simple tether. Small bumps don't set it off, but if you're thrown from your bike it does, no electronics necessary.

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

Alternatively if you ride with someone, they can be your airbag.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Shit at that point it would probably be safer to just bypass it manually, dig in there for the can and connect the valve to some piano wire or something, hook the other end onto your bike so it gets pulled automatically like a grenade if you leave your seat. The tripwire that saves you instantly

[–] oregoncom@hexbear.net 25 points 2 years ago (1 children)

that's already a thing. much cheaper and it uses standard air canisters.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Unironically love unknowingly inventing things that have already been invented, it's like a little test to see if brain still work good

[–] oregoncom@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago

meanwhole bazingas microdose lsd to make sure they only invent things that are shittier versions of what already exist lol.

[–] Maven 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

  1. It's more of reskinned lease scheme. These are expensive devices, and you can either buy the whole device up-front, or you can buy a cheaper version and pay a monthly fee to make up the difference. Either $800 up front, or $400 up front + $12/mo or $120/yr for three years.

  2. There is no world in which you die because "your airbag's ping is too high". It checks your subscription once a day before you leave home; part of getting ride-ready is making sure your airbag is prepped. If you have no sub, the device warns you, the same as if the airbag was faulty or unready for any other reason.

It's absurd on the face of it, but I'm not sure it's worse than a world where motorcyclists don't get airbags if they don't have $800 right now.

[–] alexandra_kollontai@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago (13 children)

In the event you don't pay they have made a deliberate decision to just let you die. Wall.

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[–] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago

wtf

[–] motherofmonsters@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Next service: subscription door locks. If you’re trapped in your burning car, you must subscribe to unlock.

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If you don't like it, just shop around for another "unlock the doors to your burning car" service.

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[–] Owl@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

Tired: Fail safe / fail deadly

Wired: Fail deadly / succeed deadly

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago

I hate rent-seeking! I hate rent-seeking!

[–] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

Fucking rediculous

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