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There is an officially licensed, life-sized FF7R Tifa "Collectible Figure" (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by doublepepperoni@hexbear.net to c/games@hexbear.net
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Are the otakus okay???

This showed up in my YT feed and it was too cursed not to share. What gets me is that this is an officially licensed, SquareEnix-approved product what-the-hell

It's seemingly made by one of those Chinese companies that make incredibly realistic and expensive action figures for rich nerds so it's technically not a RealDoll but there's probably a reason why its life-sized and why they chose the HoneyBee Inn outfit

Imagine visiting someone's house and seeing this thing on their couch

spoilerAlso imagine what it'll look like in 20 years once the silicone starts to degrade

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[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 29 points 2 months ago

God that's creepy

[-] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago

Folks, we do not love to see it

[-] kristina@hexbear.net 25 points 2 months ago

the only reason to have a sex doll is to leave them in funny places like sitting at a library reading a book

[-] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 6 points 2 months ago

Bit idea: we put Lyudmila Pavlichenko dolls on rooftops above Trump rallies.

[-] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 24 points 2 months ago

friend-visitor-3

[-] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 22 points 2 months ago

limmy-what

[-] lemmyseizethemeans@lemmygrad.ml 16 points 2 months ago

Sucks to be lonely

[-] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 15 points 2 months ago

They'll make a life-size waifu doll but won't give me a life-size metal king slime made from platinum smh

[-] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 2 months ago

You'd get way too much experience that way and be way too dangerous.

[-] vegeta1@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago

Comment on video "real women might be in trouble" Sir...... I assure you they'll be just fine

[-] CheesyFox 6 points 2 months ago

i mean... Not just not in trouble, they'll be less likely to find a prick that objectifies them... So... Seems like a win-win i guess?

[-] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 14 points 2 months ago

The spread leg logo disgost

[-] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago

Glad to see they finally hired fans on this one

[-] tombruzzo@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago

This came up in my YouTube feed too. What does that say about us?

[-] hypercracker@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago

Het cis male sex toy shaming discourse go

[-] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 20 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

This isn't a sex toy though, which somehow makes it even weirder

Even if it was, I'd argue life-sized silicone dolls that cost thousands of dollars aren't the direct equivalent of a dildo or whatever. There's much more discreet and infinitely less creepy options for dudes looking to get their rocks off that you don't need to hide like a corpse when your mom comes over

[-] hypercracker@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It is a sex toy. It contains sex toy anatomy.

I personally think it's creepy since I have the same reaction to it that I would to a corpse but if you know anybody in the BDSM community they have waaaaay more elaborate sex-related things in their house than this.

[-] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It is a sex toy. It contains sex toy anatomy.

It does?! It absolutely blows my mind a company like SquareEnix would approve a fucking RealDoll with the likeness of one of their most recognisable female characters

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

I've actually thought about this and I wouldn't mind a job making sex dolls for nerds. idk I just view them as any other sex toy shrug-outta-hecks

[-] Hestia@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

Sex toys should be discrete IMO...

And less... human

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago

I've gone back and forth on this in my head, on the one hand yeah it's weird and creepy and objectifying but on the other if we're not going to stick sexless men in camps or kill them a good option is to allow them a release, there's been dudes through the years that have actually straight up marry these things and have romantic relationships in the case of Davecat (google him). idk it feels harmless compared to say like sex work which is actually pretty dangerous.

[-] bane_killgrind@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 months ago

google him

Too ominous try again

[-] secret300 9 points 2 months ago

It wouldn't be on the couch. Probably in the closet or bedroom

[-] vegeta1@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

Whatthehellisthatandwhydoesthatexistwhydoweexistnoooooooooooooo

[-] Dolores@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

something very uncanny about it in that lighting, if the person taping wasn't physically fiddling with it i'd have thought it was a render

but looking it up it seems to actually be a sex doll, there's "Voice Dialogue: 18 Voice Control/Dialogue Touch Sensing: Touch Sensitive Area Can Sound Intelligent Voice: Three Character Modes [Girl (Chinese), Mature Woman (Chinese), European and American Women (English)]" and it has a metal frame like one.

i'm kind of fascinated, i wonder if these sorts of things can balance on their own

[-] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I just checked the link and saw more normal expensive collectibles like an 1/6 scale Anakin Skywalker figure with an incredible likeness of Hayden Christensen and assumed they didn't sell sex toys

I'm just flabbergasted a company as conscious of their brand and image as SquareEnix would approve a cursed product like this. The same company that currently has gamers in an uproar over slightly covering up female characters in the upcoming Dragon Quest remasters is also okay with turning one of their most iconic female characters into a sex doll homunculus

[-] Dolores@hexbear.net 8 points 2 months ago

i can't find any information about 'juicy made studio' besides literally this product, i'm not sure this is a real partnership with the studio, seems kind of grey market. there's apparently a bit of a market in sexed IP-figurines & dolls that directly reference the content while clearly being unauthorized. but it's presumably niche & hard to crack down on

[-] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

I guess I was tripped up by the "Collectible Figure" branding and the assumption that something on this scale would require official backing of some sort. Like when I think of unlicensed merch I think of cheap stuff you can find on AliExpress but I suppose they don't give a flying fuck about IP in China either way deng-salute

[-] Dolores@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

something on this scale would require official backing of some sort

modern specialist handicraft markets are definitely something i don't understand very well, but low-numbers high-cost operations like this probably aren't 'real' factories with high capital investment, my theory is that these businesses would take normally manufactured sex dolls and bespoke customize them to look like characters, then they're marketing them in slightly more 'reputable' places as an extension of the 'figurine' stuff. it's a bit bizarre that they're coy about it, wouldn't a buyer want all the specifics/operation manuals on a really expensive sextoy? but i guess the barest pretense that the sexdoll is a collectible would be important to some prudish markets.

[-] AernaLingus@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

officially-licensed

Where are you seeing that? I'd assume this is unlicensed until proven otherwise like those resin statues of Gojo from Jujutsu Kaisen with his cock out

[-] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 1 points 2 months ago

It seems I just naively assumed you wouldn't be able to produce something like this without SE having a say about it

It was also sold alongside more legitimate looking merch

[-] myrrh@ttrpg.network 4 points 2 months ago

...it's generally prudent to assume that any foreign-branded merchandise produced in china for the chinese market is more likely than not unlicensed...

[-] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 1 points 2 months ago

For some reason I assumed unlicensed merchandise would always be cheap

[-] Alisu@hexbear.net 7 points 2 months ago

God the comments

[-] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 2 months ago

Collectible as in there are more than one? "Collection" imply having multiple similar but not identical items of the same cathegory.

[-] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I found a YouTube link in your post. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2024
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