this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
613 points (99.4% liked)

People Twitter

6317 readers
1881 users here now

People tweeting stuff. We allow tweets from anyone.

RULES:

  1. Mark NSFW content.
  2. No doxxing people.
  3. Must be a pic of the tweet or similar. No direct links to the tweet.
  4. No bullying or international politcs
  5. Be excellent to each other.
  6. Provide an archived link to the tweet (or similar) being shown if it's a major figure or a politician.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] SzethFriendOfNimi@lemmy.world 138 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Unfortunately due to other matters I don’t have the bandwidth today.

Let’s schedule a follow-up to discuss for a later date so I can give this the focus it warrants.

[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago

This is the one. Polite and professional, and also acknowledges the importance of the other person's viewpoint.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 87 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The coffee hasn't kicked in yet.

Bonus round: you don't drink coffee.

[–] BossDj@lemm.ee 16 points 2 months ago

I just need a quick bump and I'll be back in action

[–] Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com 77 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This is why I love working in a blue collar field. Who needs professionalism. "Sorry boss, brain's fucked today. Explain it at me like I'm an apprentice."

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] jollyrogue@lemmy.ml 58 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What’s the priority on this? I’ve been a little scattered today.

Bear with me, I’ve been running around all day, and I need to catch up and refocus.

[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

I like the first sentence as a standalone reply.

[–] manderson1701@infosec.pub 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I like to explore all the angles before committing to a decision

[–] milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This looks like the right one.

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Depends on context. If it's after a bad blunder it's probably a poor reply, because it makes it seem like you're trying to cover it up.

"I need my coffee" has never failed me!

[–] Lasherz12@lemmy.world 34 points 2 months ago (2 children)

"Sorry, I haven't had my coffee yet."

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 31 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

In the morning, it's "I'm not fully caffeinated, yet".

In the hour(s) leading up to lunch, it's "My blood sugar must be getting low."

In the hour(s) after lunch, it's "I've had lunch and now I feel like I need a nap."

In the hour(s) before clocking out for the day, it's "It's been a long day and my eyes / brain need a rest."

This is basically science. I just need to apply for some funding.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

To be fair, 4 PM was usually the time for a coffee break back when I worked in an office.

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

“Sorry, I haven’t had my ~~coffee~~ cocaine yet.”

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

“Sorry, you don't pay me enough for ~~coffee~~ cocaine yet.”

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 32 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[–] pastel_de_airfryer@lemmy.eco.br 30 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Sorry, I don't function well on Mondays"

"But today is Wednesday"

"I call it third Monday"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] jadedwench@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I'm sorry. My brain is slow today and this needs to be done while I am fresh. We can go over it tomorrow.

I am too burnt out today.

I can't focus on that right now.

I am not functional enough for that.

I don't even make shit up and I am done with corpo speak. If they can't accept that, then they can get over it. We can discuss this like humans. If I can get you started, great, but if you want this done right, you will wait.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Endymion_Mallorn@kbin.melroy.org 23 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Sorry, I have a case of the Mondays!

[–] BossDj@lemm.ee 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I believe you get your ass kicked for saying something like that

[–] Endymion_Mallorn@kbin.melroy.org 6 points 2 months ago

Not if you say it on a Thursday. With a gallon of coffee in hand.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 21 points 2 months ago

"let's pencil in a session about that tomorrow morning"

[–] Atlusb@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago

"Just back from annual leave and trying to get upto speed" or "just had the closing meeting on an old project. Once I'm fully read in on this I will be able to take it on"

[–] sundrei 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Co-pilot, make up an excuse for me."

I am unavoidably detained due to furious diarrhea

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] ChillPenguin@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Then there's me. Who's not smart AND my brain is fried. AMA

[–] pufferfischerpulver@feddit.org 4 points 2 months ago (4 children)
load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] caveman8000@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

Sorry, I have exceeded my bandwidth for the day.

[–] Sabre363@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 months ago

I find the blank, abyssal stare of one desperately trying to piece reality back together long enough to hold conversation, sends a pretty clear message

[–] wizzor@sopuli.xyz 11 points 2 months ago

We need some internal discussion on this. (When talking to an external party or another department)

[–] Venator@lemmy.nz 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I promise I'm smart my brain is just sautéed.

[–] GreatAlbatross@feddit.uk 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"Apologies, X AM/PM is too early in the morning for my brain"

It becomes more of a joke the later it is in the day.

[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Think no. Brain not good.

[–] SpiceDealer@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I can assure you of my intellectual capacity but there is a severe incompatibility with cognitive functions on this day.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] lath@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"My apologies, I seem to have contracted an acute case of skibidi brainrot."

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] NostraDavid@programming.dev 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

(I just recreated the original because that one is jpegged to hell and back. I used draw.io (used the original image as background), then exported as SVG, jammed it through SVGOMG, and then let ChatGPT do one last optimization because the font stuff was a bit too much, removed the whitespace and comments - boom: 700kb SVG)

[–] wuphysics87@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 months ago

I work smarter not harder

[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

When I'm in that situation, my go-to is "I don't think I can do that today, but I think we should definitely look into that sometime"

[–] IMongoose@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

I've seen

I am at capacity

And

My head is full

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 4 points 2 months ago

"Thank you for your patience"

[–] HexesofVexes@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Sorry but my burnout quotient is too damn high today. Leave it with me and I'll ponder it while I grab an emergency tea.

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 months ago

"I'm having a 4th Monday this week"

load more comments
view more: next ›