Microblog Memes
A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
Rules:
- Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
- Be nice.
- No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
- Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.
Related communities:
Isn't gambling bad? Why is that in heaven?
🤔
The Good Place Season 1 Spoilers
The Good Place Season 1 Spoilers
Could it be... that...
THIS
IS
THE BAD PLACE!
😱
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Gambling is bad because of the consequences of gambling when you have finite resources to lose. I assume that any form of heaven is post-scarcity so betting is done just for recreational purposes.
Cat girls are not furries. And I'm willing to die on this hill.
Humans are apes, and therefore we're all ape furries. Since catgirls are girls, and girls are human, and humans are all ape furries, catgirls are furries.
Well there's a spectrum isn't there and everybody puts their marker just slightly ahead of what they like. Unless you go full furry, in which case I guess you don't have any use for the marker
I won't argue with you, but the hill you're gonna die on is named Furry Mountain.
In the days immediately after my dad's death, I had the house to myself and had retreated to my basement/office space to have a stress-relieving wank. Just outside of my space was my daughter's battery-operated activity table that was known to play jingles at random. What it was not well known for was playing the giggling sound effect at random. So imagine how quickly I put my dick away when that table laughed at me not once, not twice, but three times in the span of a minute.
If that wasn't my dad's ghost making fun of me, I don't know what it was.
And pasta has been made
I'm not eating that pasta...
It has Alfredo in it
I love Alfredo! I don't like the sauce on that pasta.
Never going to gargle balls as good as grandma did it.
Those were the days bless her soul and her mouth.
Heart and soul - Normal, average, accepted Mouth and soul - New, outlier, shunned
Don't give up now Amanda! He's so close! Stay the course! Keep fighting soldier you're almost there!!! FUCK YEAH!!! Look at him squirt! I saw his butthole pucker! ~Grandma in Heaven
ain't like she hadn't been there herself back in the day
Maybe gramma's into it?
Maybe gramma gobbled nut sacks all year round? That stuff could be hereditary.
Fun fact:
The Bible says everyone goes to heaven at the same time. So I guess the souls just chill out until the rapture happens?
Yeah, they hadn't figured out relativity yet back then. The soul departs the body at the speed of light, meaning everyone who does reaches heaven instantly. Since it's so far away, from our perspective, it takes essentially forever thanks to time dilation.
You can trust me, I have a PhD in bullshit.
The Bible says everyone goes to heaven at the same time.
I don’t think that’s clear in the text, and that’s historically been a major point of theological contention. I think the debate in the US 1800s over “soul sleep” and the affiliated quasi-cults that sprung up after the Millerite movement (Seventh Day Adventists, Jehovahs Witnesses) had very strong opinions on whether you go to heaven immediately, stay “asleep” in the ground until God starts resurrecting people, wait in some kind of cosmic waiting room for the resurrections, or if you are just flat out dead until God wakes you up. (Of course, JW’s are so committed to bad exegesis that they’ll die rather than receive a blood infusion, because “don’t eat animal blood” in the ritual purity laws of course means “don’t receive human blood infusions.”)
Think about Mormon baptism for the dead. Those people aren’t in heaven or hell (because at least the lower kingdoms of heaven aren’t even set up yet - all of us non-Mormons are going to be hanging out on Earth 2.0 when we die). Mormons are experts at genealogy because they’re trying to make sure that every great-great-great-great-grandparent they have gets a chance at salvation.
Yes, that's what purgatory is for, it's basically a waiting room before heaven
heaven is not a place you go. it's a state of you, your surroundings and the world. we create it not get taken to it. that's the hard part people don't get. NO ONE IS COMING TO SAVE US, WE WILL NOT BE MAGICALLY TELEPORTED ANYWHERE
Nana is so proud of you
This life is the Pornhub of the afterlife
I have a theory that when people go to church, they go for the intention to change their privacy settings, and the priest just reads out each setting and people do the cross to agree with each setting.
I have gotten no evidence of the contrary so it must be true! /s
church
do the cross
Me, stripping off and getting hard
She's probably flicking the old dried up bean while she watches.
it's always you with the comments that make me want to reply "i'm calling the police"
I think there's nuance to this.
Any deceased family member of yours who belongs in heaven is going to give you privacy when you need it
How do they know when that time is without having first witnessed some ball gobbling?
Do we just have ancestors popping in for a check and immediately turning away embarrassed all the time?
Maybe they have to ask permission at the family spying desk and the attendant will just shake their head and say "umm... Nows really not the best time. Gobble gobble if you catch my drift."
I can't imagine how many embarrassing reunions there would be in heaven, or maybe hell is just filling to the brim lol
It's kinda like a Facebook birthday reminder, for whatever kind of things they would want to see. As long as heaven can design a good algorithm, there's no big issues.
Or once you see the private lives of every person, all the time, you quickly understand that everyone does weird shit in private and voyeurism just loses its novelty entirely. People fucking or picking their nose will be no more interesting that someone walking down the street.
She has it all wrong: Grandma and her other ancestors aren't watching from heaven or whatever they're inside her. Passive guests in her body that get to "live on via their children and grandchildren." Literally.
Grandma tasted those balls right along with you, girl! It's like that saying, "if you're cold, they're cold."
"That's my girl, just like I taught her!"
If Grandma wants to watch me flick the bean, that's a her problem.
Grandma probably did the same in her youth, and now that she's in heaven, she's reliving whatever she wants, whenever she wants it. At worst, she'd wish she could offer some advice.
Holy shit I laughed out loud at this!
How's Grandma gonna' get 'er rocks off?
Why would Grandma care? Grandma's probably getting her brains fucked out by 13 werewolves while Grandpa's putting together a catgirl harem. Even if that's not your kind of grandma, she's probably very much aware that she should be giving you privacy, lol.