What if you have a boner? Then it provides plausible deniability.
this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2025
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Thank you, jacket boner.
Thank you too, Docker pants.
They're terrible, pants boner is far worse than jacket boner.
Exactly. These and those pants that make it look like you've peed in them just a little but for stylistic reasons are just good things to have out there in the world imo.
Have you given brother?
You gotta give!
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I use to think about this a lot, and would constantly try to fix it - trying to look like I wasn't just playing with my dick while doing it.
But now that I'm older I realise most people know clothes do this, and that it doesn't really look like a boner anyway. And people generally aren't looking at me wondering if I've got a boner, and they probably don't care if I do unless I'm also staring at them or something. .... So now I just worry about accidentally staring at people. (And my eyesight isn't great, so it isn't always easy to tell.)
I think this is one of those things that seems like everyone notices when it's you, but when you think about it in reverse you struggle to think of any times you've noticed another person with a 'jacket zipper boner'.
Zipper less hoodies don't seem to do this ime
IDK why this is downvoted; it's literally the zipper that causes this bulge by being stiffer and less likely to bend like the rest of the material used for the jacket/hoodie/pants.
At least on a jacket or hoodie, you can push it up so the bulge is on your chest or something. Can't really do that with jeans when the zipper is just on the crotch.
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I never wear jackets, but still get those bumps in my jeans somehow.
It's because the cloth shrinks in the wash more than the zipper so in order to fit the longer zipper in the smaller cloth it needs to bulge out.
Worst answer to “Is that a roll of coins in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?”
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In case someone is stressing about this (I used to when I was young and dumb), no one cares about your boner, or lack thereof. But someday you might meet someone who does!
When you’re past a certain age, having an unexpected, rebellious boner that refuses to calm down is an achievement. I remember when they were a constant nuisance, so I can relate to the young and dumb guys.
If you have a penis on your stomach, maybe.
You wear crop top jackets?
Just punch on it to make it clear for everone around that it is not...
Make sure to scream things like "yeaaaah, that's it!" and "more, more!" when you do. You have reinforce the visual denial with vocal denial.
Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 1 Episode 1 lmao definitely worth watching if you haven't seen it
Thank you jacket bump for helping me hide the continuous uncontrollable boners I got in school. I could put my hands in my pockets and play pocket pinball all through class!
I too have a boner that comes out of my stomach
You should get that checked
Never be ashamed of a good boner.
Ah to be young again!
You should only hate it if it makes it look like your boner is smaller than it actually is. No reason to hate it when it's flattering. 😌
As a tall freak of nature, I'm just thrilled when I find a shirt that reaches that low. You shorts don't know how good you have it.
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No way that thing has gotten me into more places than it's gotten me kicked out
Yeah got me in jail
Jail for boner??
is this a madlib??
No but “boner” has also meant an error so depending on the time it was published it might not mean an erection
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In jail for boner, yeah
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Tummy boner tummy boner
Reminds me of that Curb episode, isn't it the first one even? So great. ^^
"There's a man in the bathroom and there's something hard in his pants!"
A WATERBOTTLE IT'S JUST A WATERBOTTLE! xD
The very first!
What about the pants tent?
This bullshit is why I never wear zip up sweatshirts.
Zip-up hoodies are the only sweaters I wear.