this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2025
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[–] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 128 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

What if you have a boner? Then it provides plausible deniability.

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 74 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Thank you too, Docker pants.

[–] nomy@lemmy.zip 3 points 3 weeks ago

They're terrible, pants boner is far worse than jacket boner.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Exactly. These and those pants that make it look like you've peed in them just a little but for stylistic reasons are just good things to have out there in the world imo.

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Bristlecone@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

You gotta give!

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[–] blind3rdeye@lemm.ee 67 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I use to think about this a lot, and would constantly try to fix it - trying to look like I wasn't just playing with my dick while doing it.

But now that I'm older I realise most people know clothes do this, and that it doesn't really look like a boner anyway. And people generally aren't looking at me wondering if I've got a boner, and they probably don't care if I do unless I'm also staring at them or something. .... So now I just worry about accidentally staring at people. (And my eyesight isn't great, so it isn't always easy to tell.)

[–] Spookyghost@sh.itjust.works 21 points 3 weeks ago

I think this is one of those things that seems like everyone notices when it's you, but when you think about it in reverse you struggle to think of any times you've noticed another person with a 'jacket zipper boner'.

[–] jdf038@mander.xyz 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Zipper less hoodies don't seem to do this ime

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

IDK why this is downvoted; it's literally the zipper that causes this bulge by being stiffer and less likely to bend like the rest of the material used for the jacket/hoodie/pants.

At least on a jacket or hoodie, you can push it up so the bulge is on your chest or something. Can't really do that with jeans when the zipper is just on the crotch.

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[–] MithranArkanere@lemmy.world 48 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I never wear jackets, but still get those bumps in my jeans somehow.

[–] nandeEbisu@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

It's because the cloth shrinks in the wash more than the zipper so in order to fit the longer zipper in the smaller cloth it needs to bulge out.

[–] TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Worst answer to “Is that a roll of coins in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?”

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[–] Geometrinen_Gepardi@sopuli.xyz 40 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

In case someone is stressing about this (I used to when I was young and dumb), no one cares about your boner, or lack thereof. But someday you might meet someone who does!

[–] TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 21 points 3 weeks ago

When you’re past a certain age, having an unexpected, rebellious boner that refuses to calm down is an achievement. I remember when they were a constant nuisance, so I can relate to the young and dumb guys.

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 37 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If you have a penis on your stomach, maybe.

[–] fallingcats@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 3 weeks ago

You wear crop top jackets?

[–] lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 21 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Just punch on it to make it clear for everone around that it is not...

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago

Make sure to scream things like "yeaaaah, that's it!" and "more, more!" when you do. You have reinforce the visual denial with vocal denial.

[–] frigidaphelion@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 1 Episode 1 lmao definitely worth watching if you haven't seen it

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago

Thank you jacket bump for helping me hide the continuous uncontrollable boners I got in school. I could put my hands in my pockets and play pocket pinball all through class!

[–] Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I actually just have a boner.

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[–] Cattail@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I too have a boner that comes out of my stomach

[–] TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 4 points 3 weeks ago

You should get that checked

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Never be ashamed of a good boner.

[–] shittydwarf@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 3 weeks ago

Ah to be young again!

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 10 points 3 weeks ago

You should only hate it if it makes it look like your boner is smaller than it actually is. No reason to hate it when it's flattering. 😌

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

As a tall freak of nature, I'm just thrilled when I find a shirt that reaches that low. You shorts don't know how good you have it.

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[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

No way that thing has gotten me into more places than it's gotten me kicked out

[–] asbestos@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 23 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

No but “boner” has also meant an error so depending on the time it was published it might not mean an erection

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[–] KaRunChiy@fedia.io 5 points 3 weeks ago

In jail for boner, yeah

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[–] sit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 weeks ago

Tummy boner tummy boner

[–] Onionguy@lemm.ee 5 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Reminds me of that Curb episode, isn't it the first one even? So great. ^^

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

"There's a man in the bathroom and there's something hard in his pants!"

[–] Onionguy@lemm.ee 3 points 3 weeks ago

A WATERBOTTLE IT'S JUST A WATERBOTTLE! xD

[–] 1hundred47@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

The very first!

[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

What about the pants tent?

[–] Anamnesis@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This bullshit is why I never wear zip up sweatshirts.

[–] lka1988@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Zip-up hoodies are the only sweaters I wear.

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