this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2025
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Grimes snorted Adderall off my glass table right before Oblivion blew up

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[–] MaoTheLawn@hexbear.net 8 points 5 days ago

I'm a star of a YouTube video with about 9 million views, where I'm pretending to believe some outrageous things to an interviewer (who thought I was being serious) just because I thought it would be funny. Never knew it would blow up, and now there's a good portion of the population who would recognise me as 'that insane guy from the YouTube video'. Unfortunately to give more info would be to dox myself.

[–] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 3 points 4 days ago

Everyone in this thread: I've once met this famous person or I was once on TV.

Me: My mom once ran over my foot with her car, but somehow it didn't break every single bone in my foot.

[–] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 5 points 5 days ago

Many years ago, I had a few beers with someone who turned out to be a descendant of Stalin.

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 7 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

I bummed a cigarette off Jeremy Clarkson in the middle of the desert.

[–] MaoTheLawn@hexbear.net 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] MaoTheLawn@hexbear.net 3 points 4 days ago

You're James May then

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago

Two Secret Service guys stood behind me and watched me pee so they could clear the bathroom for John McCain to use.

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago

I also got guest listed into a neutral milk hotel show because I was the only barista working that wasn't star struck by the lawn gnome looking guy and I accidentally made it sound like I tried to get tickets but couldn't.

[–] Finger@hexbear.net 6 points 5 days ago (3 children)

I am the right hand man for one of the biggest drug empires in america

[–] isame@hexbear.net 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Purdue Pharma?

[–] axont@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago

but do you take half measures?

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 5 points 5 days ago

I once charged Xibit $300 for an Oz of weed. Also smoked a joint with George Clinton in front of the same club. Also one time Bunny Wailer gave me donuts back stage at reggae on the river when I was like 13.

[–] PaulSmackage@hexbear.net 5 points 5 days ago

David Cronenberg knows me by name.

[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago

A north korean bloke struck up a conversation with me next to a news stand. I didn't know what to talk about so I showed him the Pokemon magazine I'd just bought

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago (3 children)

I came really close to needing to fight an alpaca once.

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[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago

my girlfriend actually did go to a different school but it turned out one of my classmates knew her through some church frisbee golf thing.

[–] Future_Honkey@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

My apartment was used for an episode of Simon & Simon (80s tv show) and i got to see a car shot up, ride on a horse and also sat in one of the Simon's laps while they were setting up.

I won't tell you which Simon or which episode (because i don't know)

If you don't like that one, one time i was on the bad side of a drug deal gone wrong, 2 guys sharing one shotgun busted into my place and demanded the money but i convinced em i got fucked same as them and then we played Tekken together until they just left.

[–] CredibleBattery@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] Aliveelectricwire@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Ah yes, you blew my 3 year old cover! I am in fact actually....... billionaire-tears

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] Aliveelectricwire@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago

If you've ever given me mutual aid pls DM me the amount so I can tell you how to set it up as a tax write off

[–] Angel@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

There's a Family Guy cutaway gag that features me

[–] Aliveelectricwire@hexbear.net 5 points 5 days ago

As of 1650 gmt-5 03/29/25 this is the most insane thing I've heard on this site

[–] GaveUp@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I got free backstage tickets to a very popular (like A list popular) sold out concert because the day of a few hours before, I randomly met the artists son at an antiwar political organizing event and I told him how I was planning on trying to sneak in afterwards (this was before I knew he was their son)

[–] Wertheimer@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I have no idea what that means, but it looks like this is the place to say that I know a guy who threw up on Derrida

[–] Aliveelectricwire@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It means: "Something that actually happened to me but is so weird/unbelievable no one would believe me"

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[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Lmao that is crazy. My Master's thesis advisor studied under Derrida and simply won't shut up about it, so I guess we have like 2 degrees of separation.

[–] Wertheimer@hexbear.net 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Nice, that means you're Derrida's grandstudent? I regret to inform you that Francis Fukuyama is your estranged uncle:

He initially pursued graduate studies in comparative literature at Yale University, going to Paris for six months to study under Roland Barthes and Jacques Derrida but became disillusioned and switched to political science at Harvard University.

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I can only imagine how hard Barthes must've bullied Fukuyama for being such a nerd. He had zero chill for goody two shoes types.

And yeah, i guess that makes me his grandstudent! I actually used some of his work on ethics and hospitality for my master's thesis, and it really stuck with me whenever I think about people sharing food, land, and work... hosting people or being a guest somewhere.

[–] oscardejarjayes@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago

A lot of people I know have personally met Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk, but I was late both times.

[–] hexthismess@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I blasted a famous chud with a water cannon once.

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[–] ComradeSpahija@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

One of my family members used an bazooka against an important governmental building of a foreign country (during peacetime) because hurr durr communism bad. (I'm sorry I probably can't give any more details so this probably sounds completely ridiculous)

[–] sammer510@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago

I got lost in the snow on one of the most statistically dangerous mountains in the US and fell off a cliff and got out without having to call search and rescue

[–] Diva@hexbear.net 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I have probably sat through more in-person pledges of allegiance than anyone else

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I've simultaneously met more wallstreet oligarchs, high ranking members of JSOC and the intelligence community and high ranking government officials of the PRC than any normal person should in a life completely coincidentally by being in the right place at the right time - excluding one person who I actually heard about ahead of time and actively worked to meet. Like yeah this sounds super fucking suspect but every time it happened I was literally minding my own business going about life when coincidentally people that can shake the world to its foundations just cross paths with me and I go slightly wide-eyed recognizing them and immediately say "Oh hi."

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

one of the wall street oligarch meetings wasn't me meeting them and more like I was minding my own business enjoying a most sumptuous breakfast and was rudely dragged into meeting that cranky old fucking boomer who was arguing with some dipshit techbro over him throwing techno-buzzwords that few over the boomer's head on why the boomer should invest into his start up venture capitalist pump-and-dump scheme which lead to a multi-hour lecture on how the boomer oligarch takes inspiration from the greatest managers of history such as napoleon, alexander the great, and sun tzu, among other absolutely inane shit that made me want to lobotomize myself with my fork because the new generation doesn't know how to manage their assets anymore. Sitting through that really made me really question whether or not the world would be better or worse off with the oligarch boomers continuing their iron-fisted rule or the techbros supplanting them as the oligarchs that rule as the high priests of capitalism.

[–] GaveUp@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago

I'm so sorry you had to meet all these people. You work in finance right? I thankfully am able to avoid these types even though I'm also very close but it seems in finance you kind of have to socialize/network as part of the job

[–] Guamer@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago

I'm the one who introduced Gorbachev to Pizza Hut

[–] Enjoyer_of_Games@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] GaveUp@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You gotta elaborate on this

[–] Enjoyer_of_Games@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I told him about the time Carly Simon wrote a song about me and he said "that's a lame claim to fame" then his eyes lit up and he started scribbling in a notebook.

[–] GaveUp@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

And what's the story of Carly Simon writing a song about you? And which one

[–] Orcocracy@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago

I don’t wear caps yells-at-cloud

[–] adultswim_antifa@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago

Bernie Sanders showed up at my workplace once.

[–] ANarcoSnowPlow@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago

A piece of equipment I worked on was used by the myth busters on TV once.

[–] 9to5@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I met a high ranking politician of an African country

i'm a revolutionary

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