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Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
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Matrix Group Chat:
Suggested Matrix Client: Cinny
https://rentry.co/tracha (Includes rules and invite link)
🏳️⚧️ Transmasculine Pride Ring 🏳️⚧️
⬅️ Left 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 Be Crime Do Gay Webring 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈 Right ➡️
Heya Everyone, new Mega time and for it, I'm gonna advertise a TTRPG system called Thirsty Sword Lesbians.
A sword duel can end in kissing, a witch can gain her power by helping others find love, and an entire campaign can be built around wandering matchmakers flying from system to system.
Thirsty Sword Lesbians is a roleplaying game for telling queer stories with friends. If you love angsty disaster lesbians with swords, you have come to the right place.
In this book, you’ll find:
Flirting, sword-fighting, and zingers in a system designed for both narrative drama and player safety.
An innovative take on the Powered by the Apocalypse family of games.
Nine character types, each focusing on a particular emotional conflict: Beast, Chosen, Devoted, Infamous, Nature Witch, Scoundrel, Seeker, Spooky Witch, and Trickster.
Guidance and support for running the game, including how to make appealing adversaries, set the tone, pace the game, and structure play.
Tools to create your own settings and stories, alongside a dozen pre-written options including the cyberpunk Neon City 2099, steamfunk poets battling oppression as Les Violettes Dangereuses, laser swords and intrigue in the Starcross Galaxy, and more.
World building worksheet for custom scenarios and starting scenario seeds to play with: Best Day of Their Lives, The Constellation Festival, Gal Paladins, and Sword Lesbians of the Three Houses Variant rules to highlight different identities, emotional connections, and setting elements.
Strategies to adapt any setting where swords cross and hearts race for Thirsty Sword Lesbians.
Here's a link to their website, I did copy everything over directly from it because I put off writing the Mega this week. I was drawing a blank on what I wanted to talk about. 
https://evilhat.com/product/thirsty-sword-lesbians/
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As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
I came out to everyone like 4 months ago now.
Just reflecting on how exhausting that was.
Crazy. CRAZY I say.
I've been living as woman, and interacting with people as a woman for months now. Unhinged.
Who would let me do this?
tone
While the post doesn't imply it, I'm actually happy.
awwww yeah shitpostin the 420th comment lol 
FUCK mcr is amazing, the only reason I don't listen to them as much as I used to is because these hoes won't release NEW MUSIC
as it turns out, snow halation is good even without any siivagunner edits
this is what I do when I want to explore new music, just find the non siivagunner edit and sometimes it works sometimes nah
More new thoughts
My brain's going through all the fantasies of having a child again. I'm starting to wonder if maybe the reason I have this baby fever now after 5 years of having no interest in kids at all might be because I stopped tutoring a month ago. Like I find teaching kids fulfilling and now that I that I'm not doing it anymore I want my own kid to fill it? Idk. I don't mind having these daydreams of having a little family since I think they're very sweet and cute, I just find it odd how they started so suddenly.
spoiler Specifics I really like the idea of having just one kid to pour all the love towards, but then I think about how I tend to be very busy and worry about them getting lonely, so I think two might be better. Plus if it's two then hypothetical wife and I can each hold onto one while we watch movies as a family so none of us feel left out and everyone's cozy. Maybe twins would be ideal, but obviously that's unlikely so I shouldn't hold out for it.
God and they'd be sooooooooo cute too! I was already an adorable child and I bet they'd be even cuter. Maybe one's got my dark blond and the other is a ginger like my mother. Or maybe they take after hypothetical wife and I can see her hypothetical pretty face in them all the time...
Sad
But I also feel like all of these are kinda superficial and shitty reasons to want kids. I'd probably be a bad parent. I'm too much like my mother. Stubborn, prideful, controlling, I'd probably hurt them in some emotional way. And I don't want to. I don't want to hurt them at all. But how I am right now, it probably would happen. I'm not equipped to have kids at all, so why should I daydream about it so much.
Maybe some day I will be though. But I've still got a long way to go. And for now... The daydreams are nice.
spoiler
You can always do respite care for foster children, help someone else out for a few weeks. Sometimes they do respite care for bio parents, like somethings come up and they can't parent for a short term period - we have one kid at work who just lost his mother, he has sickle cell, and his dad isn't coping between the kids complex needs the othed kids and losing his partner. He would benefit from respite care so he can get his shit sorted, they have to go to the city for hematology and rheumatology, hes gotta deal with his wife's estate, plus the guy looks exhausted every time the kid comes in. I don't think he sleeps much...
Anyway, the point is you can do respite care for a while to support bio parents or foster parents. Or you could babysit
Watching a vid someone made about making spiderman web shooters and the dude used the 
06 loading screen 
I legit pogged so hard when I saw it
The ps3 version had way more loading screens for much longer so I'm intimately familiar with this animation, the whole game I'm intimately familiar with to the point where I fear it's the only context I'll be intimate in my life 
Made myself sad now 
I know things will get better for me I'm already taking steps to make my life better
To be fair, Wmill, that's a pretty banger loading screen. Top tier, I think.
Why is Queer Eye still just gay men?
Like…I get originally, but like throw in a lesbian and a trans girl or something at this point.
ah but it's not subversive to our straight audience that way because women already know how to decorate and do makeup, silly 
JVN is non binary
Okay, but we need some gurls
Watched a vid on pregnant luigi fan art, I ain't linking that very NFSW and too many CW to write out but it was very illuminating 
I will never be as pretty as Princess Peach
I experimented a bit with eyeliner. It was fun
I feel like I should write a romance novel despite having so little experience. I feel like I'd be good at writing the coyness and angst. And it just seems fun.
nsfw
Not to mention how apparently I'm quite good at writing smut...
You could start off with a short story or a novella if an entire novel seems a bit too daunting. Probably a good way to gain the experience you’re lacking.
Neither can capture the depths of the slow burn romances I thrive off of. I need 200+ pages before they realise they like each other and then at least another 500 going through their relationship slowly building up. The courting period alone ought to last 300...
More seriously, by experience I meant romantic experience. I've only had one relationship turn official and even it only lasted a few weeks. I'm a pretty good academic writer so the size isn't daunting, though I do definitely need to get better at fiction writing.
In that case, what about a romantic story that doesn’t involve humans, but a different species or even supernatural beings, whose romance manifests itself in a different way than ours? That way, your lack of experience isn’t such a handicap, and you can let your imagination go wild.
And also: You totally got me with the first part. 
dysphoria + mentions of suicide conceptually
I’d hoped if I looked in the mirror I would see a girl, but instead I saw a boygirl-thing.
I saw if Harry Potter was a boygirl-thing.
I kind of hate my lower face, I don’t think it’s anything too manish, but there is something off about it and my lips are weird and I don’t know how to rest them and I just feel like an awkward freak.
I don’t want to completely kill myself I guess…I feel like I could potentially look again. Maybe getting used to myself and learning more about make up and hair will fix things…idk.
I don’t know how to feel right now, I don’t know how confident I am to keep girlmoding or not.
I was expecting to either be blown away and happy or just want to cry and jump out a window…but instead I am just in this weird middle place and idk how to process it.
same warnings
You said you hadn't looked at yourself in something like a decade right? You were very brave to overcome whatever that block was. You were worried you'd have some suicidal ideation from it, and you just said you don't feel it now!
I'm sorry you didn't see what you wanted to. We're very harsh on ourselves and often the worst judge on if we pass or not. You have passed, you've talked about it.
Keep girlmoding, especially if that's what makes you happy. The more you girlmode, the more likely you are to pass (although you've talked about some time(s) you've passed unintentionally while boymoding lol) - not that passing is the, like, holy grail lol. But I know it feels good.
Yes, if you do more femme stuff like your hair or makeup you'll look more femme - if you wanna come across as more femme, its just one way of being a woman of many. Maybe you gotta figure out what looks good or not (bangs go pretty well on most people and its in right now). Let your lips rest how the go naturally, HRT will change the tissues in your face and make them more femme. But it takes a while. When I look at pics of myself before HRT 5 years ago and now, I do have fuller lips and they are different but I didn't notice day by day. You can change what your lips look like with lipstick and lip liner.
I am very happy to hear that you looked at yourself! I can't speak to it (Ive never seen ya] but ask your wife if you're beautiful.
I wouldn’t say it’s been that long lol
Idk how much more hrt is gonna change tbh.
Idk what to expect at all from hrt at this point tbh I was first on it like 7 years ago on some shitty informed consent dose and basically until a year ago I’d be on again off again with similar dosages for months (or even a year) between.
I feel like I fucked myself over.
No, you haven't, it all takes a looooooong time There's a lot of focus on the first few years because that's the exciting "omg my boobs came in" time. 10 years on you'll still be changing, not as much as the first bit but you still will. If you're on a steady proper dose now and you weren't before I'd expect some more changes. HRT is like the circle factory meme, if you're in it steady and a good dose your body will happily comply and move shit around. You don't "desensitize" or whatever to E, there's no strict "this must happen by 4 years or it never does" deadline. You didnt ruin anything.
I hope so 
very horny
good lord i boofed my prog instead of doing it orally for once last night and oh Venus I am fucking feeling it now 
So uh, what your saying is I should boof my prog and then it may actually do something?
spoiler
Omg now I really wanna try.
Was it really necessary to post this? 
Damn, now I have to try it as well.
i gave it a warning and you clicked anyway🙄
To be fair, the warning was "very horny" and not "make you so jealous that you can’t resist the temptation". It’s not my fault that your words are so compelling. 
How many posts here are strictly "necessary," though? 
Well, now that I’ve done the deed, I think I have to write an update tomorrow too. So that’s at least one necessary comment. 
mental health
My anxiety is through the roof :( I’ve been getting a little bit more in touched with my feelings through therapy but right now I just can’t pinpoint the source of my anxiety at all. I feel completely dissociated and without emotion but there clearly is something because my body is having an extreme stress reaction.
I FUCKING HATE TRANS LIBS WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TRANS AND STILL SO FUCKING STUPID AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH 
yeah it sucks. prevailing ideology pervades even marginalised groups. i'm banned from the big trans discord in my country for being too much of a brash communist lol
based but also tragic
i'm turning your golf course into a park and there's nothing you can do about it
Parks and wreck
I don’t think I like the shampoo/conditioner they use at the hair cutter.
Every place I've been has had options, might have to ask.