this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2025
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Spoiler

The 22-year-old Trump has running Homeland Security terrorism unit is no Doogie Howser, expert says

One year ago, Thomas Fugate was graduating college.

Now, the 22-year-old former Heritage Foundation intern works for the Department of Homeland Security overseeing the prevention of hate-fueled terrorist attacks.

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[–] take_five_moments@hexbear.net 28 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I've never been punched in the face.

edit: oh wrong answers only my fault

[–] Lyudmila@hexbear.net 24 points 1 week ago

Executive Order 429367 issued today requires all official government photos to be taken with the DreamWorks Face.

Hot off the tails of the RealID law entering effect, all Americans will be required to renew passports and driver's licenses for the second time this year, with a hard deadline of November 3, 2025.

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 20 points 1 week ago

"Clearly, you don't own an air fryer"

[–] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

WikiHow: 12 steps to look smart but dangerous in a school photo

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 12 points 1 week ago

How to Look Smart but Dangerous would be a great title for a comedy.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago

Temu Doctor Evil

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago

He's staring into the mirror. Again. Damn it. My official portrait is happening tomorrow. I gotta get the eyebrow raise just right. "What do I expect you to do? I expect you to die, Mr. Bond."

[–] thagoat 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wanna have a peak at my anime collection?

[–] MaxOS@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago

when your custom character is in the cutscenes

[–] LanyrdSkynrd@hexbear.net 12 points 1 week ago

Trademark infringement

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 12 points 1 week ago

"The name's Jayson, but people call me 'shit for brains'."

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 12 points 1 week ago

I call this look blue steel

[–] john_brown@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago

Day 673: straining for twenty minutes daily still has not produced a real mustache

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Looks like he's waiting for his Brumaire

[–] Des@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

that is the most 42 year old looking 22 year old i have ever seen

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

The world's first Mustn'tache

[–] DogThatWentGorp@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Looks simultaneously 15 and 48 years old.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's so weird how that malady affects so many male right-wingers. They have a real life Balok vibe.

He's from "The Corbomite Maneuver" episode of Star Trek TOS. Clint Howard (Ron Howard's brother) played him but an adult actor did the voice.

[–] DogThatWentGorp@hexbear.net 1 points 1 week ago

I think it's really just a matter of having a younger person styled up like a 60-something. Which is something fash gravitates to for obvious reasons.

The comb on homie's hair here makes the slight hairline recession more pronounced. The mustn't-stache shouldn't be there. The facial expression is causing massive brow lines and other things that just kinda look like wrinkles instead.

And who knows how the photographer is handling the lighting which can do a lootttt of things.

It's like they tried so so so so so hard and all they did was ignore any good aesthetic choice or strength they coulda leaned into.

the other ball will drop any day now and then i can finally grow a goatee

[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 7 points 1 week ago

And who has a better story than Bran the Broken?

[–] largerfather@hexbear.net 5 points 1 week ago

do i make you horny baby?

[–] tombruzzo@hexbear.net 5 points 1 week ago

When mom comes in telling you to stop gaming because dinners ready but you just got Play Of The Game and u a gangsta

[–] huf@hexbear.net 4 points 1 week ago

cosmo lavish after he's done a few hours with the eyebrow-raising machine

[–] buh@hexbear.net 4 points 1 week ago

Big Balls’ cousin Small Balls

Working on his Milei-ass sideburns and failing

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 3 points 1 week ago

The stache explains the weird shit I'm into

[–] NinaPasadena@hexbear.net 3 points 1 week ago

Cognitohazard: look at this photo to go into a murderous rage

[–] WIIHAPPYFEW@hexbear.net 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Fuck uhhh some kinda doogiehowser or smth I think

checks spoiler

godDAMMIT- oh wait WRONG answers. Nvm yay what prize do I get :)

milei vibes

[–] HarryLime@hexbear.net 3 points 1 week ago

Dreamworks face

[–] boiledfrog@hexbear.net 3 points 1 week ago

Potato in chief

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 3 points 1 week ago

dollar store Rufio

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 2 points 1 week ago

Helloo! I was the president in 2004’s Metal Wolf Chaos. Helloo! From Software protagonist right here!

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 2 points 1 week ago

Why yes, both heads are bigger than average.