this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2025
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Slop.

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[–] tombruzzo@hexbear.net 5 points 2 days ago

These losers would hate looking up how many times the bible mentions managing your money

[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 37 points 3 days ago

I'm happy that modern science is finally learning about bread and olive oil

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 55 points 3 days ago (1 children)

the bible absolutely mentions manmade fish meat

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 35 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Jesus was actually a time-traveler from the future with a replicator, some hyposprays, and a medical tricorder

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Jesus was Data who accidentally time travelled whilst delivering a replicator to a distant planet and was thrown light-years back to Earth.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 47 points 3 days ago (2 children)

The Bible doesn't mention cars, planes, guns, internet, democracy, cocoa, coffee, tea, giant robots...

[–] Zuzak@hexbear.net 35 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It does, however, mention adultery quite a lot.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 22 points 3 days ago (1 children)

How else are you gonna pass the time back then?

[–] vovchik_ilich@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago

Cutting the neighbouring tribes' foreskins presumably

[–] ourtimewillcome@hexbear.net 19 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The Bible does have passages describing an arguably democratic and perhaps even primitive communist society, since descriptions of the apostles sharing everything can be found in Acts 2:44-45 and Acts 4:32-35. there its stated that all believers were united in heart and mind, sharing their possessions and ensuring that no one among them was in need.

conspicuously, western protestants often tend to omit those verses.

[–] CupcakeOfSpice@hexbear.net 5 points 2 days ago

I like to bring this up when they get uppity about capitalism being God's preferred system, which is such a wild claim to make. But a Fox News host said it best, "God is great, but I love capitalism." Honestly, had I not heard them say it myself, I would have a hard time believing they were so mask-off.

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 39 points 3 days ago

the bible totally mentions lab grown meat. it's called Manna. it was made by Trickster Scientists to help God's warriors get completely jacked in time for battle with the Lost Tribes of Solomon before the invention of HGH and Elk Liver.

if you invest in Lord Christ Crypto, i will send you a link to the Real Ultimate Bible which will teach you how to unvaxx your own loads.

[–] EllenKelly@hexbear.net 20 points 3 days ago (1 children)

How many times is sodomy mentioned 😵

[–] buh@hexbear.net 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] nfreak@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 days ago

hehehe that's the weed number

[–] miz@hexbear.net 29 points 3 days ago (1 children)

sure the world is getting fucked to death by capitalism via pollution and warming, but I'm sure we can solve that through individual food consumption choices. I am very smart

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 22 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Tears streaming down my face as I beg the apple tree to respect my consumer choice and grow oranges instead.

So far no luck

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The agricultural treat printers can't come soon enough

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I legit have a wild dream of grafting an impractical number of apple varieties onto the same trunk. It would be a nightmare if it started to get fungus, though.

[–] Meltyheartlove@hexbear.net 29 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)
[–] Meltyheartlove@hexbear.net 36 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 27 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Of course the conspiracy whackjob is also an A432 dork

[–] pinguinu@lemmygrad.ml 25 points 3 days ago

Imagine what they'll feel when they discover A 415 or even A 392

They don't have shit on renaissance nerds

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

It doesn't mention computers once

[–] kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 days ago

The Bible mentions infanticide multiple times, too.

[–] boiledfrog@hexbear.net 17 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Look I like olive oil, but calling it a superfood feels like a stretch, when would you ever eat straight olive oil

[–] vovchik_ilich@hexbear.net 25 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Hah, mere mortal. As a Spaniard, pure extra virgin olive oil runs through my veins. I have transcended mere existence, I am become the

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This is what happens when you eat 30-40 olives, right out of the jar with your fingers, as an easy weeknight dinner.

[–] vovchik_ilich@hexbear.net 3 points 2 days ago

Aceitunas machacás/chupadedos hit the freaking spot so much these days, I love the flavour profile of the brine used to make them

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

The celebrity chef diet.

[–] Formerlyfarman@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

When I was in my early 20s they had an olive oil bottle meant to be seasoning in the restaurant closest to work, id pour half a bottle into the soup.

It was the only place I could eat near work and I was always hungry.

Eventually I would make instant ramen, with lard, tallow orremovedseed oil instead of water. Oils are generally cheap and have a lot of calories, the perfect food. I can still get a kg of tallow for under a dollar.

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 19 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

And horse jizz. That's definitely in the Bible at least once.

[–] buh@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago

What about beef tallow

[–] radio_free_asgarthr@hexbear.net 17 points 3 days ago

~~bronze age pervert~~ iron age pervert