Ask Lemmy

Flames on the side makes things go faster

The Costanza Rule is real, but any attempt to utilize it is a paradox.

Rule: any decision I make is the wrong decision because I made it therefore I should always do the opposite.

But to do the opposite is also a choice I am making and therefore it too will be the wrong choice.

Patrick's Law: If a comment thread on the internet is more than 7 replies deep, it's a slap-fight that's best avoided.

The moon is closer to me than the Eiffel tower since I can see the first and not the second.

There are people who are always lucky, and those who are unlucky. The lucky ones tend to win more coin flips, have less accidents, and if they fail it will be upwards.

The reason the Space Force has woodland camouflage is because SG1 is real and every planet looks like British Columbia

I got one - and it’s the only conspiracy theory I give any credence to.

All of Helen Keller’s feats were utter bullshit and were a circus side show to bring money to her family. It’s the perfect “you can do anything if you just put your mind to it” fairytale. Like hell she flew an airplane, ain’t no way she wrote a book.

Before anyone provides evidence of the contrary, I will not accept it no matter how damning it is. Hence the “firmly hold.”

I don't believe there's a spoons worth of plastic in your brain. Ain't no way. It's suspiciously sensational, and confirms something we all believe to be true (plastics bad, humans reckless, etc.). I have zero evidence to the contrary but im pretty confident that in a few years to a decade it will be debunked.

JESUS WAS AN ALIEN, AND WE STAPLED HIM TO A TREE.

NOW THEY AIN'T GON COME BACK.

Dogs are boys and cats are girls

I don't care how many studies are done on food safe plastics I still don't like the idea of using them on my kitchen. That's not to say I avoid them 100% but I do what I can to avoid them within reason. Like I feel after the whole BPA scare and banning them from use in food applications is a temporary thing and that it's a matter of time until we find a problem with the new BPA-free liners.

We have higher dimensional organs and we can't see them because, well, they're from a higher dimension. The soul is one of these organs

Without the hate speech and constant invasive political discourse, most people on the internet would lose interest and go away.

being a shitty person is way more beneficial than being a good person.

and i mean by shitty/good basically morality. being a amoral selfish person is almost always better for the individual.

however, i think such people are always going to be unhappy due to the instability of their life.

People were happier in the stone age than they are in first world countries today.

Our brains did not evolve for the lifestyle we're living today.
I sure as fuck would be happier out hunting, gathering and making handcrafted tools during the day, then telling stories by the campfire wrapped in a fur at night.
Even if there's no toilet paper, I could get mauled by a bear every day, and if not, the tribe will leave me behind on the next migration when I'm too old and weak to keep up.

I'd rather live 30-60 years like that than edit another Excel sheet. Sadly, our "civilization" made that way of life completely impossible.

Once your poop and pee hit the inside of my toilet, its legally my property.

When I drop something on the floor and then blow on it in short soft bursts, it's suddenly clean enough to consume.

That if you can't find something or something doesn't work, it will continue to be missing/not work until you complain about it to someone, at which point it will start working/show up and you look silly.

Kyle's Law is harsh, but fair (and rather annoying)

Tailgaters (people who drive too close behind another vehicle) are idiots.

Cops are liars.

Anti-vaxxers, and other conspiracy nutters, are anti-science cretins.

The best way to find something you've lost is to buy another one, then you'll find the original.

Antivaxxers are chaos cultists who want to share Grandfather Nurgle's gifts with humanity.

Sometimes my dead dogs visit me in my dreams. I know they're supposed to be dead in the dream and I give them lots of pets and belly rubs. Then I wake up feeling great. Yes I'm 99% sure it's a product of my unconscious mind but sometimes...

All animals have limited intelligence. Humans are animals, therefore humans have limited intelligence. Take a chimp or a dolphin and try to teach them calculus. Now imagine what realities lie beyond human understanding. There's a whole epistemological realm of the unknowable out there.

Reincarnation

I just can't get over the idea of:

Nothing --> Existing --> Nothing

So I figured, an unscientific philosophical guess, that existence is more like:

Noting --> Existing --> Nothing --> Existing (again) --> Nothing --> Existing (again) --> [repeating forever]

Maybe "souls" is just an energy.

Einstein said energy cannot be created nor destroyed. So maybe, when we die, we become an energy that, by some ways we can't yet understand, just randomly becomes a part of another living being... maybe a human, maybe non-human, maybe this energy stays nearby here on Earth, maybe it somehow goes to a random alien planet and you become an alien the "next life"... who knows?

Or maybe this is just another coping mechanism my brain cane up with in face of the knowledge of certain death, influenced by the Eastern philosophy that I grew up with? Whatever...

My moral values, such as valuing reducing suffering as far as possible, qualify I suppose.

If you have a thing, and you cut it at a diagonal, you get more thing.

I’ve been playing around with this idea I have called “n-link civic literacy” it’s an unscientific measure of civic literacy (how good are you at extracting and understanding information from the news) that works by measuring the number of links it takes to successfully obscure bullshit from the reader.

Did you read a headline, form an opinion and react to it without reading the article? Then you are -1 link literate. Do you open the article but believe it’s claims without checking the source material? Then you are 0 link literate. Click through to the study cited by the article? 1 link literate.

Probably would not work for edge cases, but I think could work to get a rough measure of the civic literacy of a community.

Digital/no pressure buttons are completely unreliable when used to control a physical thing.

I am convinced that I will come down with cold/flu if I breath too much cold air. When I walk in the cold, I always wrap a scarf around my mouth and nose. If I don't, the cold air will give me a sore throat. That sore throat will act as a Petri dish for illness to develop and spread into my lungs or nose.

I know plenty of medical professionals and all of them tell me that that is not how it works, but I have a datum of proof. In my first year of university, I had a nasty, persistent respiratory infection during the late fall/early winter. To keep my throat warm while it was recovering, I started wearing a scarf and my illness went away quickly. After that, I started wrapping up whenever I was walking to class in the cold and never got sick again.

I am now used to wrapping my face in the cold and feel wrong without it. When I don't, it seems like I am more likely to come home with a scratchy throat. I can definitely say that many of my flus start in the throat (though it could just be that the first flu symptom I tend to notice is the sore throat).

I firmly believe some days you wake up and the world just fucking hates you, yet the next day everything is chill. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Aliens have quarantined the solar system to prevent contamination of the universe by humanity. They are waiting for us to incinerate ourselves and keeping the other races safe until we finish the job.