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Please assume that stale carrot man isn’t in office and that the U.S. is currently being a reasonable and humane country that actually stands for democracy, liberty, and freedom.
How absurd. Why not choose a name for the USA that is timely and appropriate? Or, if you're going to embrace fantasy, why not choose a name for the US that assumes it's not a country but in fact some variety of small vibrating egg?
Donald Trump's Personal Toilet
North American Union.
Setup like the European Union with each state promoted to country status.
NeoneoAssyria
Its still the USA. Let's just vote for a government that works for us and not try to murder us.
South Canada?
North Mexico?
New Europa
Trumpire
I.C.E.land.
Strong Badia. There's probably lots of chocolate.
The Empire
Perhaps the U.S. could be named after gold
The United States of Aumerica
Eminem had it right. The Divided States of Embarrassment.
Country McCountryface
"The Country Between Canada and Mexico Formly Known as the United States of America."
CBCMFKUSA for short.
All I see in that is
MTHRFKNUSA!
Trumpistan
I think the US naming themselves after America isn't really any different from the European Union naming itself after Europe.
It's "United States OF America", not "United States that are America". It's a bunch of united states that exist in America, not the states that make up America.
Please assume that stale carrot man isn't in office and that the U.S. is currently being a reasonable and humane country that actually stands for democracy, liberty, and freedom.
It's not like the US was a leader in those things before Trump. He didn't invent the issues, he just made them more visible. The US has always overthrown democratically elected governments to install dictators, and people have complained about its own election system for ages. There's a lack of consumer and labor protections, and the fact you only have two right-wing parties and anything left of center is considered extremist opinions doesn't help at all. It's honestly hard to imagine the US actually standing for democracy, liberty, and freedom, beyond empty propaganda.
Klown Kar Kountry
Why not Columbia?
No, no Colombia (🇨🇴)!
The US can never be "a reasonable and humane country that actually stands for democracy, liberty, and freedom", since it is an empire built with the blood of stolen people on stolen land.
Eh.. If we were generally a kind and prosperous nation, with healthcare, a strong working class, free education, and a decent system of reparations to drive equity, that whole stolen land thing would probably be overlooked.
And we'd all be riding free unicorns.
Still, it shouldn't be overlooked.
Fair enough actually.
Epstein island, just because they have tot open up the epstein files
Even without Trump in office it still could not be reasonably called the liberty states
The Aristocrats.
ASStocrats, maybe!
Several different names for the 4 different countries it should split into.
Cascadia (obviously) - in the west border line is the Rockies.
Mississippi - all the flat corn states and those whose purpose comes from the river. Basically all the land between the Rockies and the Appalachians, but not including the great lakes states.
Southern states - all those East of the Appalachians but South of Virginia including Florida.
Northern states - all those North of Virginia and may include the lake states too but...
The lake states might just join Canada or go independent and call themselves Iroquois or something..
Alaska is Canadian, as it should be. Texas is Mexican (again), as it should be. Hawaii is now independent and tied to New Zealand, as it should be.
How about fucking landback?
Cornlandia
Go back to the original European name - Vinland/Vineland/Wineland. Though that might have been in Canada, technically.
Better yet, find some pre-Columbian name for the land that was used by the actual locals. I'm sure there's plenty of alternatives, and some of the most beautiful state names in the US came about that way. Maybe some Native American name for the Mississippi river could be a good starting point.
Non United States of America
The continent is North America. The Americas are both the north and south continents. As a Canadian, I don't give a rats ass. Just because Trump has the comprehension of a 3 year old we do t have to change things to make him feel comfortable. The are the United States of America, not the country of America. That's just short form because it's a mouthful otherwise.
Trumpstein Island
Everything is bigger in the USA. So, Bigland
I can get behind that if we pretend we did it because of the Tom Hanks movie
Yugeland