A Minnesota man:
“Luigi, come with me, we need you!”
this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2026
530 points (99.3% liked)
News
34874 readers
3444 users here now
Welcome to the News community!
Rules:
1. Be civil
Attack the argument, not the person. No racism/sexism/bigotry. Good faith argumentation only. This includes accusing another user of being a bot or paid actor. Trolling is uncivil and is grounds for removal and/or a community ban. Do not respond to rule-breaking content; report it and move on.
2. All posts should contain a source (url) that is as reliable and unbiased as possible and must only contain one link.
Obvious right or left wing sources will be removed at the mods discretion. Supporting links can be added in comments or posted seperately but not to the post body.
3. No bots, spam or self-promotion.
Only approved bots, which follow the guidelines for bots set by the instance, are allowed.
4. Post titles should be the same as the article used as source.
Posts which titles don’t match the source won’t be removed, but the autoMod will notify you, and if your title misrepresents the original article, the post will be deleted. If the site changed their headline, the bot might still contact you, just ignore it, we won’t delete your post.
5. Only recent news is allowed.
Posts must be news from the most recent 30 days.
6. All posts must be news articles.
No opinion pieces, Listicles, editorials or celebrity gossip is allowed. All posts will be judged on a case-by-case basis.
7. No duplicate posts.
If a source you used was already posted by someone else, the autoMod will leave a message. Please remove your post if the autoMod is correct. If the post that matches your post is very old, we refer you to rule 5.
8. Misinformation is prohibited.
Misinformation / propaganda is strictly prohibited. Any comment or post containing or linking to misinformation will be removed. If you feel that your post has been removed in error, credible sources must be provided.
9. No link shorteners.
The auto mod will contact you if a link shortener is detected, please delete your post if they are right.
10. Don't copy entire article in your post body
For copyright reasons, you are not allowed to copy an entire article into your post body. This is an instance wide rule, that is strictly enforced in this community.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Anderson said he had weapons in his bag, and inside the bag was a barbecue fork and a pizza cutter, according to the criminal complaint.
NOT A PIZZA CUTTER
It's because Luigi is of Italian descent.
I’d much rather fight someone armed with a pizza cutter than nothing at all because, what kind of a stupid ass brings a pizza cutter to a fight? That’s a crappy fighter right there.
Or he is so elite that he is using techniques that you cannot even comprehend.
You know what they say, don't bring Parmesan to a pizza cutter fight.
You cut your parmesan with a pizza cutter?
Yeah I think a grater would be a better weapon
load more comments
(3 replies)
The fool. Everyone knows prison bars are made of overcooked lasagna.
The only possible way this scenario could be improved is if the would-be jailbreaker was named Mario
That's gotta be part of a bit. That's about as useless a weapon or tool as you can get.
Slice n dice!
you haven't seen what damage it can do!
The cutest in the world reference. Maki is great.
load more comments
(5 replies)
If you get that pizza cutter rotating at about 1500 RPM it could be quite dangerous.
load more comments
(1 replies)
"Weapons"
Did he think he was busting him out of Flavortown Jail?
The barbecue fork is gonna up the severity on this one. Why couldn’t he have just taken a regular fork?
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
I, too, am somewhat of FBI myself.
I'm Fabulous, Beautiful, Intelligent.
Luigi needs news time, but this is silly.
Wrong....
All publicity is good publicity.... especially for our boy Luigi
Impersonating an asshole is a crime now?
I don't know if that's an actual quote, but I read it in Dean's voice regardless.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Stories like this are so funny in juxtaposition to what I've been reading. I recently got into Arsène Lupin stories from the early 1900s (praise be royalty free) and it's full of fanciful jail breaks and such. Where's the impersonation of a real person? Where's the accomplices sending messages in code? False fingers full of money? No, we get Mr. Pizza cutter. Clearly not a gentleman burglar.
Also, L.M. is the initials of a big bad in one of the stories, lol.
ooo, have a good place to start? i enjoyed the netflix and have been thinking about binging the anime, but i might have the attention span for the book in a month or so
https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/6133
The very first book, in all its public domain glory.
Do note that the anime is about Lupin III, which is canonically the grandson of Arsène Lupin.
ooo, thanks for doing all the heavy lifting for me!
Ah yes someone beat me to it! I second the recommendation. The first two books read very much like episodes of an anime. They were released as short stories in a magazine initially, so they're easy on the attention span.
The third book, The Hollow Needle, is more of a novel but maintains the same qualities. After that... bit of a mood shift but you'll just have to see. I understand that it goes back to fun episodes eventually but I'm still recovering from 813, lol.
wasn't a lot of the best writing back then released in periodicals?
Yup, or at least most popular writing. The funny part was Arsène was literally conceived as a way to build off the fame of Sherlock Holmes which recently had got translated into French and released in periodicals. Arsène, being French and anti-police, immediately became a star in France, lol.
Is it illegal to say that that person should NOT do that alone?
It's a me Mario I make a you a pizza.
Absolute fuckin Chad move, honestly 🫡
What a shame, they could have done great things together.
The only good FBI agent 
Armed to the teeth, mama mia!
I’m still waiting for the ~~defence~~ prosecution to fuck this up so that he gets to go home free, and maybe can sue them for slander after.
I'm not saying I condone anything here but.. seems that guy's biggest mistake was going at it alone - i feel like asking the right folks he could have showed up with a whole contingent of "FBI" agents, convincing badges, a cover story, a black van and properly forged transfer documents! 😂
load more comments
(1 replies)
Chaotic good vs lawful evil?
Minnesota Man is the new, improved Florida Man.
Is there a place I can donate to his legal fund?
Give that man a medal!
view more: next ›