Political Weirdos

His non-typing hand immediately doubled its speed.

In my day satire was easily recognized

I am settling in for a showing of ‘Melania’ and the theater is PACKED!

Earlier, a bystander asked if I was heading in to see Avatar, and I stopped dead in my tracks.

“Avatar? No, son,” I curtly replied. “I don’t watch woke movies. I’m here to see the groundbreaking documentary about our incredibly talented First Lady.”

The man’s two little girls began jumping up and down, pulling on his sleeve, and begging, “Daddy, we want to see Melania!”

“But. But…” he stammered, “I thought you girls wanted to see Zootopia 2?”

“No, no, NO,” they said, now nearly shouting. “We want to see Melania!! She is the most beautiful First Lady EVER.”

Their father was scrambling, stressed out, and disoriented.

“Girls, I’m afraid you aren’t the only ones who are captivated by President Trump and his beautiful wife,” I said, kneeling to get on their level. “Virtually everyone in this theater is here for the 7:30 PM showing, and it’s been sold out for days.”

Tears began to well up in their eyes.

“But…” I said in a hushed tone, “I happen to have a few extra tickets with me, and I’d like you and your dad to have them.”

They jumped for joy and began hugging their father. He looked relieved as he wiped the sweat off his brow with a smile.

I handed him the tickets and pulled him close. “Raise these girls right,” I whispered. “Teach them to be classy conservative women of faith like Melania, don’t let them become like Meghan Markle. Capisce?”

He hugged me and thanked me profusely. “What are you going to do now?” He asked.

“Don’t worry about me, son,” I told him, with a twinkle in my eye. “I’ve already got tickets to the next showing.”

This is one of the funniest things I have read all day.

And then they had buttsex in the bathroom, not that they're gay or anything, while the children watched a movie dryer than a silicon gel packet in the Sahara.

Always have been, remember in 2016 when he said he'd release his tax information (required to get clearances) and he failed to do so, kept saying he would and now is suing the people who voted for him for $10 billion dollars.

Edit: why.. Because he told the population he would do the job for $0, and the tax records showed he didn't donate that money and was lying to every Republican voter.

Oh and because he can now blatantly steal from them, and they will say yes please, because every Republican is an absolute bootlicker

Obama was there. He clapped.

I mean they buy books in bulk to get an author on the best seller list

Only MAGAs would pay to see this so of course all the ticket purchasers are glazing it. It could have been just watching her take a dump for 2 hours and they'd rate it 5 stars.

same as it ever was

Surely, it's bots, right?

Can you imagine anyone actually paying to watch the movie? Yeah, I'd say it's bots or something along those lines. 99% is about as believable as North Korean "election" results

Yeah Nick Adams is a professional MAGA troll.

Then-everyone-clapped-ism

Nick Adams (who this is the official Twitter account of) is a Trump assigned nominee to be ambassador to Malaysia.

Probably not a troll (well, he is a troll, but not the way you mean) is he?

Thought that till he was made an ambassador

We've reached the ~~end~~dumb times.

Right winger's and even trump himself take him seriously. To them he is speaking the truth.

Edit: ffs trump made him the ambassador to Malaysia!

I can't even convince my kids to watch animated family/children's movies that they'd love because it wasn't what they picked!