The straits are not okay
this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2026
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I think they're in dire straits
The Iranian Brigade, The Sultans of Swing, are already working on the blockade.
dammit I was going to make this joke.
Can we have the Gay of Hormuz instead 
The cork just got 10 fathoms deeper
Portugal produces a lot of cork wood.
Where are the Portuguese in all of this? We haven’t forgotten, Portugal.
portugal has a strategic monopoly on rare corks. their sanctions regime will make the cork plug of hormuz unsustainable on the long run
Holy fuck, these people have entirely molten brains
To be faaaaaair.............I do recall something a Turkish guy I worked with once told me about one of the battles regarding (Constantinople?) where apparently the Byzantians DID use giant chains to just block the entrance to (according to Google AI) the golden horn.
ok but the golden horn is like 500m wide at the mouth, while the strait of hormuz is 50km.
I'll run down to home depot and see if I can get a chain long enough for them
Conventional artillery has an effective range of up to 55km with rocket assisted muntions.
I feel like you could definitely make a 20 mile long chain and put it up in the strait the only problems is 1) Iran doesn't control both sides and 2) i'm pretty sure the impact of a big ass tanker on a chain that long would just break it. Maybe fuck up the ship too?
Yeah but with modern technology 50km is like 50cm; just pick something up from like home depot or something
Habour chains were a very common defense, running into it with a wooden ship would smash the ship up pretty good and you can let the chain slack to let your friends pass over it then retension it after. Constantinople did have them protecting the golden horn so the Ottomans carried their ships over land and dropped them into the water behind the chain to get around it.
the Ottomans carried their ships over land and dropped them into the water behind the chain to get around it
At that point it feels like bringing boats at all is just a flex
The chain was cool but the Greeks also were throwing fire at anything beyond that chain. Fire is scary and mean.
This happens shortly after Saudi Arabia cancelled their super project "The Line". Coincidence??
virgin renderite based The Line construction vs. chad actually existing unfathomably large cork
Maybe the line was attached to the cork and the tension in the line was the only thing keeping the strait unplugged
They are going to build a wall in it and make the US pay for it.
lol yeah this has been Amerikanets' running gag for the past week
The amount of genuine cork-believers is unreal.
BUILD THE WALL
BUILD THE CORK WALL
unintelligible mumbling about rebel county
I'm so fucking scared of the cork you guys
Are underwater mines out of fashion?
Mines work but the problem is demining after the conflict is over. The strait of Hormuz is presumably something that Iran wants to eventually reopen. Removing mines is a dangerous operation and insurance companies don't really enjoy it when boats go through an area that may have unrecovered mines.
The IRCG actually has an entire class of vehicles just designed for marine mine deployment. They had it for over 20 years afaik. All of this was extremely predictable.
They don't even need that. As I stated below, conventional artillery can cover the entire strait.
Conventional artillery can get taken out by bombing, mines will stick around regardless of who wants them gone.
Actually mining the straight is a "nuclear option" for Iran.
They can and will do it, but they would really prefer not too. As long as they can keep traffic out of the straight without dropping a bunch of mines they will. If Trump forces their hand, they reserve the right and the ability to mine the straight, And it will be bad.
Surprised to find Iran is full of corksoakers
Farging iceholes
Read warmonger first not war monitor
Once the cork is plugged into the strait of Hormuz the Father raises Christ from his Slumber on the third day of April accoriding to Leviticus 4:20
#mintthecoin #insertthecork
~~The straits are not okay~~
Damn it, too late
#myplug #corkpilled #meristematic cambium enjoyer #quercus suber head #plug me up
How would they even move Cork from Ireland?