Train them to... what? Get their shins instantly broken by someone with capped boots and realise real fights don't have rules like UFC does? Cops have guns and tasers and stuff because they've already learned this won't work.
this post was submitted on 13 Mar 2026
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Is this some sort of mog or jestergoon?
Don’t we have any fucking work to do in this country? The childlike carelessness of this administration is horrifying.
I hate that our country is run by the dumbest people and they're also massive douche bags.
Run for office! I finally know someone who decided they’d had enough and are just going for it.
😂
Gonna feel like make a wish foundation at those trainings.
I mean, I get it, Steven Seagal isn’t available because he’s playing grab-ass with Jcvd in Russia.
You make due with with what you got.
I've had MMA-trained dickheads have a go at me. I was working as a roadie, driving a van and loading equipment after club closing. That's a job where you're constantly surrounded by coked-up drunks who've just left the club at 2 AM and now they're hanging around the backdoor. And being asked to please not sit in the open back doorway of the van while I'm trying to move a massive speaker cabinet into it seems to be interpreted by some knobheads as an invitation to fight. It's not that, I just want to haul the equipment back to the lockup so I can go home. I always ask nicely, but that's lost on people full of alcohol and Charlie Sheen.
Guess what? The ground game's different when you land on tarmac instead of a mat and someone then grinds your face into it.
And you're not going to be paying attention to getting your chokehold set up when someone's got a thumb in your eye and the other hand crushing your nutscack. And with street situations, you don't know how many opponents there are (I wasn't the only person in the crew), you're not matched by weight class or experience (I'm not a small guy and trained hard for a few decades), and (unlike any form of MMA) there really are no rules. Well, I have one rule: a fair fight is one in which I don't get hurt.
So hopefully this training will make these goons more inclined to do things that will get them into trouble, instead of just roughing up civilians.
Fights are are much more winnable when you treat them like an actual fight rather than the "manospheres" angry peacocking.
Yeah anyone who knows anything about actual self defense fighting in my experience always pushes avoid and run more than anything else.
Getting stabbed sucks, even if you win the fight.
Most people don't have a clue about fighting. Any training will do against an average person just as well as someone with real life fighting experience can beat someone who has only practiced it.
The reality is that what they're doing is creating more paramilitary goons to beat up civilians.
All I am imagining is an FBI agent getting shot while scooting around on their butts trying to get someone to close with them.
Kash Patel is a UFC fanboy.
Just like everyone else on the admin payroll, he is just using the position as his personal entertainment budget and holiday fund
Next he'll pay George Lucas to come visit him to "advise on Star Wars defence systems" while he gets his collectibles signed.
That's already happened. Ronald Reagan was a big fan of SciFi and created a think tank of SciFi authors to advise him on potential threats of the future.
It's fucking wild that right after attacking the largest support of global terrorism, they're holding this event at the WH and you know security will be a shitshow.
I'll be shocked if it's not attacked
All we need is one Secret Service agent or Marine guard with a conscience and nothing to lose.
…and how about the soccer world cqp this Summer?
I'm kind of hoping the rest of the world wakes up and realizes that sending teams to the US to compete right now us just as bad as sending teams to Russia. The world should boycott it, and let the US claim its trophy after the Saudis field the only other team.
and the cherry on top would be FIFA losing their pants on this WC after boot licking the rapist pedophile so hard
right after attacking the largest support of global terrorism
We shot ourselves? Surely that was by accident.
There are subsets of BJJ created specifically to help law enforcement subdue and cuff a suspect. But that's not what MMA fighters know. It's substantially different.
Lots of FBI agents gonna get their balls kicked in.
I’m surprisingly okay with that.
(Groin shots in UFC are illegal so they tend not to defend against them as well as one should in actual combat. This is the difference between combat sports and life-and-death combat.)
Um... has this series jumped the shark yet?
Back in 2016, if not before.
Some of them are going to jump the shank. That'll hurt more than a rubber shark.
This gonna be the real "jumping the shark" moment.
That was right after the peak of Happy Days, that was when it got so ridiculous that it was undeniably a shadow of it's former self.
Just like how they thought Fonzi jumping a shark would be cool, they think this will be cool.
But they're gonna fuck it up, and it's gonna be a cringe fest.
As disappointing as it is, this will have a significant effect right before midterms.
Chuck Norris was busy,that's why they asked ufc
I remember a Steven Segal joke about this, can't remember where
Patel is the kind of guest Rogan would have and be called a genius
Patel is the kind of guest that did go on Rogan and completely contradict everything he said before he was elected to public office 🤪
Appointed
thank you i am a stupid american
Taxpayer money going to the UFC, historic opportunity to waste a bunch of fucking money, assholes.
Oh, please please please please drop your gun and go fisticuffs with me thinking you're some kind of tough guy. I fucking dare you.
I wouldn't want to get anywhere close to you. I've seen the kind of knives you buy. You'll be throwing out more blades than Gilgamesh.
Is that a Fate/ series ref in the wild?
Perhaps... mongrel.
Lol, I'm just picturing a bunch of middle-aged guys throwing their backs out trying to suplex each other.
As ridiculous as everything with this guy is, going on free dates with his girlfriend and sending himself to a different sports fantasy camp every week is seeming much less damaging than what a lot of other cronies have been up to. I'll take funding a manchild's excursions over a pointless war any day.
Send him up in one of Elon's rockets next for his space camp adventure!
FBI future foot pursuits...
"Agent Silva! The suspect went over the west corner Burger King wall towards the freeway!"
Agent Silva: . . .
"Sir, he's getting away! Silva!! Agent Silva!! C'mon man."
I've been training in martial arts since I was a kid. I'm with a traditional kitboxing school and an MMA jujitsu class. Believe me when I tell you that in our gradings when we do two or three on one sparring drills, (overseen by competent instructors who have also worked bar doors), going to the ground we'll get you finished rapidly.. In those scenarios, it's all about controlling distance, not being grabbed hold of and certainly not being taken down. Me and my pals will reach for the popcorn to watch how this actually plays out.
Kash Patel you should take a long walk off a short pier.
Shortest one he can find for preference
Useless Feds Chinned
All medical personal report to sickbay 15 immediately.