this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2026
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Sick and twisted fate

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[–] Keld@hexbear.net 23 points 3 days ago (3 children)

People who don't like olives have weak souls. Literally spiritually frail.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 11 points 3 days ago (12 children)
[–] Keld@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago

Repent and take your soul to the gym.

[–] mathemachristian@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago

you didn't have marmarabirlik then. the greek export olives are ass

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[–] plinky@hexbear.net 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

can you enjoy olives without tomatoes? didn't think so. another day another native american cultural victory.

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yes, easily. Those are two great tastes that taste great together but also great separately.

[–] plinky@hexbear.net 4 points 3 days ago

you know what we do with bougie deviationists around these parts kirby-wave

[–] 9to5@hexbear.net 4 points 3 days ago

I dont always agree with you but thank you for speaking truth

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That's my biggest fear. Sometimes I want to invent a time machine and go write all of Aristotle Plato's stuff a week before he did so people think I'm the smartest guy. Or go back to Ancient Rome and win all the battles. I just know that the moment I do those things, everyone is going to love me so much that I'm not going to be able to leave. They'll try to feed me olives off a large platter and then they'll laugh at me because I only like the oil. I can't just coast forever on eating rhino heads- they'll want me to eat something that should taste like a bean or a date but doesn't. It tastes weird.

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Hey what complex or psychology do we have where we fantasize about going back in time to take credit for shit? I've never talked to anyone about this so maybe everyone does it i guess

[–] Wertheimer@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Bill & Ted just wanted to do better on their history final. Weird Al had a song where he went back in time to pay his phone bill on time. Time travel is a boon that is only granted to the unambitious. As for me, I want to bring CGI back to the 1950s so I can make stunningly advanced soap advertisements

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago

I mean obviously i want to go back to when i was cpu mining bitcoin on the school computer lab pcs and tell myself it's not stupid and actually is cool but i don't think I'd have listened because I'm old

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago

I'm George Stanley and let me introduce you to a little device called a Computronic Mathematical Machine

Computer for short, but don't let that fool you, these things can put up with some tall orders!

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago

It's bullshit. My teachers called me gifted but every time I invent something it was already invented centuries ago. I had a great idea for something called Greek Fire until the fucking Greeks invented it.

[–] plinky@hexbear.net 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

thinking that you are smarter than your parents, lateteen-early 20s disease? seems fairly parseable tbh. although mark twain wrote his yankee in king arthur court in the 50s, so it might be impressive technological progress over lifetime brain compression (if i only knew (x), then i would have made so much (money/power/lessened suffering), so in a way, regret?

decided to do vibe check:

The data also helps us better understand who watches isekai anime. In Japan, the most engaged audience tends to be older men, especially those over 30. Overseas, the majority of viewers are also male, with an average age close to 30, which is higher than the overall anime fan average.

seems like regret/quarter-life crisis is likelier to be predictor than late teens i know everything vibe soviet-hmm

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Okay but I do know everything, obviously

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 4 points 3 days ago

You too? I knew that

[–] DelgadoSlims@hexbear.net 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Luckily for any time travelling olive haters, ancient olives would probably taste a lot different. Olives aren't edible when you pick them off the tree because they have an incredibly bitter chemical called oleuropein. Ancient people soaked olives in salt water for months at a time to remove the oleuropein, but most modern olives are treated with lye because it only takes a day or so. You can buy salt cured olives and most people believe they taste a lot better

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 days ago

This is good to know, I will give salt cured olives a try

[–] XxFemboy_Stalin_420_69xX@hexbear.net 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

probably you would just learn to like olives because the alternative would have been starving to death. human beings are extremely adaptable organisms, that's like our whole evolutionary strategy as a species

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

You: "human beings are extremely adaptable organisms, that's like our whole evolutionary strategy as a species."

Me: "Mmmmmm dino nuggies again!"

We are not the same.

cw: I liedJK I love variety. I understand picky eaters in theory, but I cannot even begin to empathize. They'll have to settle for my sympathy and confused tolerance

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

My body is a garbage disposal (for plants, fungi, and sometimes silly little bacteriums only though)

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

You call them dino nuggies even though there is literally 0 triceratops in them?

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Birds are dinosaurs. Exhibit A: kitty-cat

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Im pretty sure that's neither a dinosaur nor a bird

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[–] imogen_underscore@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago (3 children)

i think sometimes about how they def fucked with olive oil

[–] mathemachristian@hexbear.net 6 points 3 days ago

Took me a second to realize you meant "fucked" literally lol. But yeah, 100% that was the lubricant of choice I would think.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I fucked with coconut oil once

[–] imogen_underscore@hexbear.net 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 6 points 3 days ago

I assume that's what prompted Alexander eastward.

[–] CocteauChameleons@hexbear.net 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I can slurp down jars after jars of olives

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[–] plinky@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

go fishing@get abducted by phoenicians@go fishing@get abducted by pirates@go fishing@get abducted by romans@go fishing@get abducted by greeks@eat your fucking olives inland

[–] GayTuckerCarlson@hexbear.net 4 points 3 days ago (2 children)
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[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 4 points 3 days ago

At least you got plenty of ouzo and dolmas

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