Autism

Something scheduled. I am useless in the lead up because "I have to be ready"

"Hey, let's meet up later today and do something fun!" Instant anxiety for the rest of the day. Plan changes are bad and worse if they are non-specific. There's a reason I don't cultivate friendships anymore.

I have this friend that I invite over sometimes, but he has this habit of extending that invite to mutual friends without telling me, and so I’ll suddenly have 2 or 3 people rocking up to my place unexpectedly.

It drives me absolutely bananas. It was supposed to be a low-key hang out and now I have to come up with group activities on the spot.

Any big event in the afternoon/evening will just completely ruin my morning, as I will be unable to think about anything else

Surprises or a change of schedule/unplanned activity, basically spontaneity is guaranteed to mess up the rest of the day.

When someone interrupts you in the middle of doing something to talk about something and they keep talking on and on just repeating themselves bringing no new information.

When my workflow is repeatedly interrupted by a stupid notification, request to "log in your Microslop account" or the OS hanging a few seconds after every use input on the Windows computer that I am forced to use for work. All unnecessary hurdles that interrupt my ideal workflow are the worst.

When you're working in something that requires you to concentrate and you are being repeatedly pulled out of this state of concentration by people who bug you about things. If it happens too many times in a row you end up with a huge headache and need a few hours of rest before you can concentrate again.

Getting interrupted "real quick" while I'm in the zone.

To not understate, everyone hates that, yes, but I am actively done for the day. I don't want to talk to anyone anymore, I lose my appetite, I don't want to play my games, I don't want to finish work.

I'm done, and the task that I was doing is at an extreme risk of never being completed ever again.

I make my space to be "in the zone" with so much effort, don't break it, it's sacred to me.

Imagine watching a magical 3 hour movie and 2 hours in somebody cuts the power, and if you want to watch it again you have to start from the beginning

Not being on time to a planned event. I want to be slightly early/on time. For reasons unbeknownst to me, when I say "we need to leave at 35 after to get there on time", the people I'm going with aren't ready until 50 after. Drives me absolutely bonkers.

Two related things: people commenting on my tone of voice, and people assuming my emotions (usually because of my tone of voice.)

I've got a lot of trauma related to my tone. I've been punished so many times for it without having any clue what people were talking about, and now whenever someone brings up that word, all the deep-seated pain immediately rises to the surface. The only way I've found to get by is to heavily mask - if I'm clearly cheery, nobody can accuse me of having the wrong tone or attitude. Problem is, masking takes effort. When my energy is low, I can't self-monitor the way I'd like to, and people start to think I'm upset because my tone reverts to the way I naturally talk. I'll be happy, just a bit stressed or tired, and people will start saying shit like, "Calm down," or "Do you need a break? You're upset, go take a break."

Then when that happens, it's like my battery goes from 20% to zero. It's so hard to self-advocate when others think they know what you're feeling better than you do. When you can't control your vocal tone, people will assume any response is proof that you were upset in the first place (instead of a sign that their assumptions just sapped the last bit of energy out of you.) It's a self-fulfilling prophecy, upsetting me when I wasn't upset before, even if I was feeling great beforehand.

I wish neurotypical people could understand that not everyone expresses their emotions through tone, that sometimes it's a matter of energy being diverted from masking and into more crucial, pertinent tasks. Honestly, I wish I didn't have to mask at all, but I know that if I didn't I'd get a lot more comments and assumptions thrown at me. In the end, letting the mask slip results in punishment. Talking the way I naturally talk is punishment-worthy. That's a lesson that keeps getting reinforced every time I dare not put effort into masking and tone-modulation first and foremost.

I'm in Autistic burnout... the slightest stress - just about any official letter, appointment with benefit agency or sometimes just something nasty on the news - can lead me straight into dissociation or shutdown. Occasionally, just having to concentrate hard can also wipe me out in a similar way. It usually takes at least a few days for me to recover.

I'm nearly 60, and this is new to me - I mean, I've had bouts before, but never as debilitating as this. I used to be able to cope with these things, even if they darkened my day.

There's something about waking up that just ruins everything.

My wife leaves her sunglasses on the dashboard of her car and they slide to the left or slide to the right when you go around a corner.

A few minutes of that is enough to ruin my day.

Have a social plan that I agreed to months earlier

Doing or saying something that you later realise afterwards was not "normal" behavior and that people saw past the crack in your mask.

Guaranteed to give you an instant impostor syndrome attack that will last for the rest of the day, leaving you obsessively overthinking about how your messed up that basic social interaction, which leads you to make even more mistakes like that which compounds the problem.

This question, but everyone has to sit in a circle and share their answer plus repeat the answer of everyone that went before them.

• Any minor inconvenience or disruption of my plans.

• Someone wanting something but instead of asking for it directly, they drop hints. Even if I pick up the hint, I refuse to acknowledge them if you're not going to just say what you mean.

• Persiatent and/or loud noises. Macherinery going, big fans, large groups of people all talking at once, the chirp of a smoke alarm needing a new battery, etc.

• Bright white lights give me headaches. Bright neon lights are cool and fun tho. I don't really understand this one myself; a light blue light is almost white but it's okay. 🤷‍♂️

We make a plan where you tell me Xyz, but don't mention other important factors to the plan. What I expect to happen doesn't happen. instant mood shift into anger mostly because I should have asked more questions and you should have planned better.

Someone existing in the same space as me can have nothing to do with me and I'll still find them distracting. Somehow they're sitting quietly by themselves talking but that chatter makes me want to turn my skin inside out it's so distracting.

I never know until it happens.

Dropped a fork? Friend used the wrong punctuation mark in a text message? Accidentally thought about the wrong past event? Computer froze? Something didn't go exactly how I planned it in my head?

Could be anything. I guess it's always more than one thing, but my brain doesn't give me enough forewarning that I'm starting to feel crappy, so all these stupid minor things end up taking me by suprise. 😬

I have severe adhd and had a “quick sand” moment at work. I made a mistake , tried to fix it but made another mistake by hitting the wrong button. Tried to fix that while the people grew impatient.

I couldn’t be mad because it was my mistake originally but now paperwork was completely fucked at that point and now I’m way overstimulated. So I said “fuck it” gave them the stuff for free ($3 worth of stuff. Yes that much stress and panic over three dollars.) and now I’m 27 short somehow.

I’m not a manger here so I don’t have the codes to fix this debacle now. But whatever they can fire me… I’m done worrying about that transaction.

It’s like quicksand, the more I try to fix it the deeper I got. So fuck it.

The most annoying part is I’ve been in management for 20 years before this job. I know I could figure it out. I was the paperwork genius for years. Without access to the various reports all I can do is hand this situation on to a manger. A manager who struggles with complex paperwork herself. Sucks bro.

A loud place.

If I go shopping and I accidentally stumble on a Saturday market or block party, and they're blasting music and people are dancing and going wild... I'm sleeping in for the next 24 hours.

That one little reminder that you are different than everybody else, and no matter how hard you try, no matter what medicines you take, you will always be alone in that way.

Nothing ruins my whole day but explaining things to me I already understand/speaking to me like I’m stupid will ruin our whole interaction or relationship if they keep doing it. If I don’t know something I’ll be the first to ask questions, seek out instructions and help, I hate feeling unable and will do what I need to to learn but if I’m doing a mundane task and you start telling me how to I’m instantly 100% over you, why do you think I don’t know how to do this??

tell me to do something i am either about to do or in the act of doing. also warning me about a very obvious danger or impediment.

A cloudless, sunny day

Y'all are like, "Schedules?! I just can't". And I'm like, "Tacking on last minute things to the thing we agreed was going to happen!" I'm so tilted now.

People being rude. In particular, people eating or making sporadic noises near me at work. And people who talk on speakerphone on quiet trains. I just… can’t handle it.

Sock getting bunched up near a toe when I'm in a public place and can't remove the shoe.

Sunshine

Bad news. It gets stuck in my head and I can't just "dismiss" it like NTs seem able to do.