this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2026
747 points (99.3% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

40410 readers
4216 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 49 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] racoon@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 hour ago

Well instead of "make" it should be "think" and it would be fine, you fool

[–] Luisp@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 hours ago

After the first check you just eat their king

[–] neatchee@piefed.social 5 points 4 hours ago

Business is like Start Craft 2, you gotta raise your APM if you want to beat the Korean pros

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 5 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

This explains SO much about their thinking.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 8 hours ago

But he's correct. If you're rich enough you can bribe all the seconds, then you can make extra moves and irregular moves. Heck, you can just have all the seconds declare you victor.

For extra points, hire guys with guns to make sure everyone at the tournament agrees with your rules.

This is the state of modern neoliberal capitalism from the view of billionaire oligarchs and multi-national conglomerate corporations.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 12 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I hear you can cheat at chess by sticking a vibrator in your ass.

Maybe that's what the rich CEOs are doing to win

[–] Cheems@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

I keep trying but it doesn't seem to make me rich

[–] dumples@piefed.social 115 points 12 hours ago (3 children)
[–] Phantaloons@piefed.zip 4 points 4 hours ago

your buddy vapes over the game board

"I activate fog of war"

[–] dalekcaan@feddit.nl 6 points 7 hours ago

We hit that bullseye and the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards.

Checkmate.

[–] sjmarf@sh.itjust.works 64 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] cmoney@lemmy.world 31 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[–] sjmarf@sh.itjust.works 46 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (2 children)

The FIDE regulations dictate that a player who declines en passant must drop a brick on their pipi. A brick is kept nearby for such eventualities

Spoilerhttps://www.reddit.com/r/AnarchyChess/comments/mzrx2o/my_workout_punishments_for_chess_blunders/

[–] myrrh@ttrpg.network 13 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I don’t see any anal beads in that drawing though.

[–] cmoney@lemmy.world 6 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I figured it was something like that.

[–] Malfeasant@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

I thought the one guy had shit a brick...

[–] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 143 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

No no, this makes sense, you literally need to cheat.

[–] nullspace@lemmy.world 24 points 12 hours ago

It works for the crooks in charge.

But the people paying for these kind of alpha boot camps aren't ever going to be in that position. They'll just put on blinders and "hustle" like a good little worker.

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 6 points 7 hours ago (3 children)

I "know" how to play chess but when I try to play against a computer I constantly get reminded I can't move my piece there because I would be putting myself in check.

Pretty sure I've only won 2 chess games in my life. ..... Against someone at my level.

[–] Malfeasant@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

I beat my kids

at chess whenever we play.

[–] Nalivai@lemmy.world 8 points 6 hours ago

Chess isn't actually a logic game or a smarts game, it's a memory game. If you're a computer or one of those 15-people-per-generation chess brains, then yeah, you probably can logic your way into thinking enough moves ahead. If not, your only option is to remember a bunch of different plays and learn how to recognise and execute the preditermined strategies. If you try to do it your way, you will be stuck losing to a bad computer or chess club kids online

[–] underscores@lemmy.zip 9 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

you didn't know about the French cum sock opener? you fool ! had you known you could have forked me into giving up one of my pieces !

[–] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 15 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

It's called tempo, you sub-1800ers /s

[–] Ironrod@sh.itjust.works 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Aww man, I just got up to 1350 😢

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

wait ELOs aren't like golf?

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ‎



uuuuuuuuuuuck

[–] MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

ELO measures the year you could go back to and match someone who is actually pretty good at chess for their time.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago

my elo is in BCE and I'm feeling good all of a sudden

[–] nymnympseudonym@piefed.social 45 points 13 hours ago

But that is how CEO assholes work (or try to until they can't get away with it)

Source: worked with nearly a dozen CEOs of various size companies

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 42 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

To be fair, though, if you were in a game of chess where you could make 10 moves for every one move your opponent makes, it would be really easy to win that game of chess.

[–] Pringles@sopuli.xyz 9 points 12 hours ago

The Scholar’s mate school of business.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 3 points 12 hours ago

Chess with flash windows.

I feel so fucking dirty for saying those words. Good god.

[–] _chris@lemmy.world 25 points 12 hours ago (3 children)

Alpha in the software sense: pre-release, lots of bugs, definitely not ready for production, sale, or wide public viewing.

[–] uberfreeza@lemmy.world 5 points 4 hours ago

Alpha male when full release male walks in: 😧

[–] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 4 points 9 hours ago

So we can ship it tomorrow? Great I just told the investors, so we're now leagly obligated to ship it tomorrow.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 7 points 11 hours ago

And increasingly: Mostly composed of an assortment of self-reinforced hallucinations.

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 27 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

I don't want to ruin this meme, but he's saying a real thing in a confusing way. You have to think 10 moves ahead of your opponent and also the repercussions of each move at every step.

[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 44 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Zero points for saying it wrong, though.

“You miss every shot you take”

“The only thing we do not fear is fear itself”

“Interrupt your opponent when he is making a mistake”

[–] Curious_Canid@piefed.ca 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

There is a wonderful cartoon book by Tom Weller called "Minims". A minim is the opposite of a maxim. So the book is full of illustrations of wisdom like "The early worm gets eaten by the bird." and "You'll catch more flies with honey than you'd care to." The book's subtitle is "Man is the only animal that wears bow ties."

(Although, I have to admit, my husky sometimes wears bow ties and he looks a lot better in them than I do.)

[–] kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 hour ago

Cats in bow ties also look great.

[–] uberfreeza@lemmy.world 5 points 4 hours ago

"If fighting is sure to result in defeat then you must fight"

[–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 3 points 7 hours ago

Shouldve said business is like starcraft then

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 26 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

No, he said a real thing in a completely factually wrong way, and that's assuming that this "entrepeneur" actually understood it correctly, which I doubt.

[–] Malfeasant@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

I mean, that's kind of the point - someone else wiser said the real thing, then Mr smarty-pants heard it, didn't understand it, but thought it sounded cool so began repeating what he thought he heard to people who also don't know any better, but like the way he says it so they give him their money to play with. Business/capitalism in a nutshell.

[–] yesman@lemmy.world 16 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I gave up on playing chess. The game has become such a metaphor, such a fetish symbol for intellect, so every dude "knows how to play", but won't risk the humiliation of loss, and therefore won't play. I don't enjoy online chess, so I just don't get to play.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 13 points 12 hours ago

Give shot chess a try. Each piece is a small shot glass.

I had loads of fun destroying my friends since I was in the chess club in grade school. And they had fun because alcohol.

Or find a park that has chess boards.