this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2026
103 points (100.0% liked)

Slop.

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For posting all the anonymous reactionary bullshit that you can't post anywhere else.

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Live for the empire, line the pockets of the capitalist parasites with blood money. Die for the empire, line the pockets of the capitalist parasites with ad money (hexbear.net)
submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by Alaskaball@hexbear.net to c/slop@hexbear.net
27 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

When you die for the American Empire, your obituary will be a series if product placement ads.

https://x.com/FugeusRedux/status/2081373419560468879

Be a smart boot. Quit or desert.

top 27 comments
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[–] mrfugu@hexbear.net 50 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I could maybe look past the first bit about legos and football because that’s just how you would describe most boring cis het millennial men.

But damn, the soap?? Saying he always smelled good or he cared about his hygiene, those are traits. But he liked one specific man soap brand and that’s how you should remember him.

[–] chgxvjh@hexbear.net 44 points 5 days ago (3 children)

This burial is brought to you by dude wipes.

[–] PoY@lemmygrad.ml 20 points 5 days ago (1 children)

when your dude gets wiped in war, clean his dead body parts with dude wipes before you bury them!

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

After his valuable semen is harvested, you're going to want to wipe up...

WITH DUDE WIPES

[–] PoY@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 4 days ago

omg lol

[–] mrfugu@hexbear.net 18 points 5 days ago

he loved wiping his ass in a straight and masculine way

[–] agentant@hexbear.net 10 points 5 days ago

popsicle scented

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago

But he liked one specific man soap brand

They mean he never actually washed properly and always stank, but insisted he was fine because of his man soap.

[–] Andrzej3K@hexbear.net 25 points 5 days ago (4 children)

OK I'll bite, wtf is "shatto milk"

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 29 points 5 days ago

glup shatto

[–] Shaleesh@hexbear.net 20 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Its quirkily branded milk advertised by content creators. The Blue Chew of dairy products if you will.

[–] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 10 points 5 days ago

Maybe it's because I'm in Missouri and am not on social media but I've never seen any advertisement for Shatto. People over here love the weird flavors, between that and their unique glass bottle deposit system that every KC grocery store does creates a lot of word of mouth around here

[–] PoY@lemmygrad.ml 16 points 5 days ago

from Missouri

[–] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 10 points 5 days ago

I live in Kansas City, they're a high quality and interesting dairy company known for selling unique flavors of milk in glass bottles you bring back to the store to get your bottle deposit back.

I've always loved their rootbeer milk since I was a kid

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 24 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Also Missouri folks, wtf is shitto milk

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 23 points 5 days ago (3 children)

It's one of those big regional dairys that likes to pretend they're a teensy little farm being rub by mom and pop

They also make this abomination

[–] TheoryofChange@hexbear.net 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Centcom official twitter:

warfighter killed in explosion caused by Shatto cotton candy milk in his bowels. No casualties or damage caused by Iranian ballistic missile strike

[–] Johnny_Arson@hexbear.net 11 points 5 days ago

Bet he Shatto his pants

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 12 points 5 days ago (4 children)

they made pilk into a real thing

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 5 points 5 days ago

oooow my bones

[–] buckykat@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago

Root beer plus dairy works in a root beer float, I guess?

[–] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago

From Kansas City, I love root beer milk. I don't get it often, but last time I hit a big sobriety milestone I bought myself a bottle

I do gotta say though, I am absolutely obsessed with Tillamook, they make Shatto look like dogshit lol

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 4 points 5 days ago

Yeah, I was torn between the cotton candy or this

[–] haxboar@hexbear.net 2 points 5 days ago

Wow.... That makes me so glad that I left Missouri and never looked back.

[–] kleeon@hexbear.net 20 points 5 days ago

It's like they are describing an 8 year old boy

[–] orlando@hexbear.net 15 points 5 days ago

I sense they're fine with it. they're that far gone

[–] Jabril@hexbear.net 7 points 5 days ago

she is probably gunning for a brand sponsorship or some free shit out of this. wouldn't be surprised if she has a podcast soon