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If you want to know who controls you, bida ka ben to nama non rawtui da criticize (eg. Illumination’s Minions)

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[-] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 60 points 7 months ago

Imagine downloading a Minions game for your kid and then dying because of it

Imagine dying while a little yellow corn demon makes siren sounds

And they say we don't live in hell

This is not a real thing that happened. But the fact that it’s believable says a lot about Minions.

[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 35 points 7 months ago

It's totally real; it happened to my uncle who works at Nintendo and used to bring home all the new new Zelda games to play-test before they were released.

Weird, I have the same uncle. See you at the reunion ig

[-] HornyOnMain@hexbear.net 29 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

im pretty sure its based on a real thing that happened where they made it really easy to accidentally add a really loud video of a minion dropping a mic to an email and several dozen people got fired bcs they accidentally did it to their boss

[-] WIIHAPPYFEW@hexbear.net 18 points 7 months ago

Pretty sure Xploshi runs that account too lol

[-] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 7 months ago

More like about USA

[-] aaro@hexbear.net 41 points 7 months ago

This is a lot like that one time they found real living minions in the Chernobyl zone but then the KGB saw and they killed everybody who knew because they wanted to keep the minions secret

I read about that in a creepy pasta once

Minions have repeatedly denied henching for Hitler. Clearly, they have investigated themselves and found no wrongdoing.

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 16 points 7 months ago

This is the funniest part of the minions movie to me. In Minion cannon, they're all literally frozen from 1812-1968. They literally just freeze the minions for a hundred years to avoid acknowledging that the minions definitely would have been Nazis in WW2.

[-] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 17 points 7 months ago

The minions were free before 1812 though, so clearly the minions helped Christopher Columbus slaughter the Taino

holodomor? more like holodominion

[-] OprahsedCreature@lemmy.ml 16 points 7 months ago

Their evil knows no bounds, for they continue even today as da minionists, following their cult of Christian da Minionism.

Minions did 9/11 (they admit to it via their app’s easter egg)

[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 11 points 7 months ago

Minions shot jfk-gaming

[-] take_five_seconds@hexbear.net 27 points 7 months ago
[-] frogbellyratbone_@hexbear.net 24 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

"Alexa, call the police!!!!"

:: Sting's sick ass bassline starts playing ::

"Roooooooooxaane...."

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 22 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

It's a pretty good joke in "Us" someone is getting murdered and calls for Alexa to call the police and it plays NWA's Fuck The Police

[-] frogbellyratbone_@hexbear.net 13 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

yoooooo wut lol

CW: hyper violence, blood

https://piped.video/watch?v=uHR_hqOi09U

[-] Tachanka@hexbear.net 21 points 7 months ago

burgerpunk 2013

[-] LENINSGHOSTFACEKILLA@hexbear.net 14 points 7 months ago

no fucking way did this lead to 14k deaths. right?

[-] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 19 points 7 months ago

It did. It says it right there.

[-] LENINSGHOSTFACEKILLA@hexbear.net 13 points 7 months ago

i failed to consider that. thank you, ryan gosling

[-] Knoq@hexbear.net 4 points 7 months ago

I KNEW RYAN WAS AGENDER.

Yeah, it’s fake. Just like the decency of all Minions.

[-] radiofreeval@hexbear.net 13 points 7 months ago

That's not even technically possible, right?

Not if the people who program the operating systems have done their jobs correctly

[-] sooper_dooper_roofer@hexbear.net 12 points 7 months ago

as a death to america fan, I can't complain

this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
124 points (99.2% liked)

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