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submitted 11 months ago by Stamets@lemmy.world to c/memes@lemmy.world
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[-] Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website 157 points 11 months ago

My now wife dropped her single status 7 times in the first conversation we ever had. So I asked her to go hiking with me. She agreed for some reason. Strange person she just met asking her to go alone in the woods with no one around?

[-] Classy@sh.itjust.works 62 points 11 months ago

Ayy just about my exact experience.

Me: Do you like hiking?

Her: No, not really.

Me: Oh that's too bad. I was going to say we should go walk sometime, it's really fun.

Her: Well, uh, hiking isn't that bad....

[-] trustnoone 54 points 11 months ago
[-] Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website 45 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Oh nooooooooo now I have to re-watch a ton of casually explained videos noooooooooo

Incidentally, he just made a follow up to this video recently.

[-] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 9 points 11 months ago

Is the printer one really supposed to be flirty? It just seems rude to me...

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[-] Stamets@lemmy.world 50 points 11 months ago

That my friend is about as subtle as a brick. I love her.

[-] Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website 35 points 11 months ago

She is about as subtle as a brick. Nuance and metaphor aren't her strong points. But she has plenty of others.

[-] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago

You might wanna feed her more. She's not supposed to be pointy.....

[-] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 31 points 11 months ago

My now wife and me were talking a day before our second date

Me: oh so yeah there is a new restaurant pretty close to me and they serve food from your country. Haven't been there yet. Want to check it out?

Her: nah save your money. I will come to your place and cook.

She did and the meal was amazing.

[-] shalafi@lemmy.world 29 points 11 months ago

I'm the outdoors type, and I have fucked this up on dates SO many times.

Last gf: SECOND date I take her out to my camp in the swamp. Yes, private land in the fucking boondocks. She was so outgoing, adventurous and into me I didn't think about it! Few weeks later told me she was scared shitless.

My new wife is a total city girl from Manilla. SECOND date I met her at a local hiking park at sundown (she was late, OK?!). It's in the city, but still kinda wild.

"But what if there are bears?"

"I mean, it's possible there are black bears, but they're not coming near a human talking and making noise, and I have a pistol if it comes to scaring one off." (Yes, I said that. Figured she knew I had a pistol, her ex was a gun nut, she kept hugging and feeling me all over on our first date, couldn't hide it.)

She stood there in the last pool of streetlight, violently shaking her head side-to-side.

"Hey! It's OK! Let's go find something to do downtown!"

Later told me she was afraid I'd drag her off in the woods and murder rape her. Gods I'm dumb. She took my hand in marriage, still scared of bears. Worked out!

[-] SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml 15 points 11 months ago

Ha! My now wife realised on our first date that she was in a strange town, with no one she knew, and no one knew we were on a date. Cue her drunkenly asking me if I was an axe murderer and if I was going to chop her into little bits.....about 40 times....

I decided not to mention I collect knives until the 3rd date.

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[-] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 20 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

One girlfriend. First date included getting in my car, and ended with me taking her to my house. We played Sonic 🥰

But yeah, someone trusting you enough to get into your vehicle the first time you meet them is on one hand awesome ❤️ but on the other hand, like, dude be grateful I'm not a serial killer 😂

[-] kilgore_trout@feddit.it 11 points 11 months ago

Why not? Most humans are reliable and it's hard to find hiking partners.

[-] killeronthecorner@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago

I like that your description doesn't preclude the possibility that you, and she, never returned from the hike.

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[-] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 116 points 11 months ago

I had a chick offer me her number so I could give her directions but I just looked up the place and showed he the route on google maps, I didn't catch on till someone who over heard asked if I was just being rude

She even said "I'm trying to give you my number!" and inside I'm like duh we already went over this

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 58 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I once had a girl stop me in the street and ask me for directions back to her hotel. She said she was new in town and wanted to meet some locals. I showed her on the map that it was on the same street as we were standing, just four blocks down. She laughed and said something like, "Im not sure, can you walk there with me?"

And I pointed and was like "its literally that building down there!"

And she goes "Oh... " and wandered off, then crossed the street and went into a cafe

To this day Im not sure if I missed out on getting laid or losing my kidneys.

[-] Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 11 months ago

Either way, it've been an adventure.

[-] anonymoose@lemmy.ca 41 points 11 months ago
[-] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 26 points 11 months ago

Is that my grade or ar you showing sympathy?

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 16 points 11 months ago
[-] AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml 12 points 11 months ago

It's a reference to "Press 'F' to pay respects" from call of duty. Basically think of it like RIP

[-] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 16 points 11 months ago

Ah yes then it's sympathy then

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[-] psud@aussie.zone 13 points 11 months ago

When I was young I missed so many signals (though I dare anyone to understand the signals sent by a teen tomboy) I married the woman whose first move was a hug

After being married, then after being divorced and too broken to date then I saw every signal, but they all quietened down (or I was missing them) when I was ready to date again

Some non-signals are pretty bold though - at a recent music festival a woman wanted to kiss every man present. I'm not up for cheating so I dodged her

She wasn't out on the hunt, she was on ecstasy

[-] EmoBean@lemmy.world 79 points 11 months ago

I had a girl start choking me when we made out in the back of my van for the first time. I have never been choked nor choked, so I didn't really know what to do in the moment, just rolled with it. Later asked her about it and asked "is that what you like" to which she obviously said yes. People are horrible at communication, no wonder that relationship failed.

[-] kilgore_trout@feddit.it 24 points 11 months ago

If you didn't agree to it beforehand, that can be an unpleasant experience and possibly break your relationship.

[-] EmoBean@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I didn't, it was, and it would have if I wasn't so horny.

In hindsight I should have listened myself. It never got better, only worse. And now I've been single for years because I cannot trust anyone.

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[-] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 70 points 11 months ago

I mean, maybe she's just Canadian right?

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 29 points 11 months ago
[-] anonymoose@lemmy.ca 18 points 11 months ago
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[-] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

Yes, yes while screaming at them "admit bag milk makes more sense!"

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[-] NewAgeOldPerson@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Only indigenous people and South American mine rich lands.

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[-] rickdg@lemmy.world 45 points 11 months ago

“My tooth hurts so bad I could choke you?”

It’s a mistery.

[-] Fraylor@lemm.ee 8 points 11 months ago

You might want a dehumidifier if misteries happen often enough.

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[-] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 38 points 11 months ago

She wants a tall glass of water. Thats it

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[-] qyron@sopuli.xyz 22 points 11 months ago

Please, can someone be so kind and explain me why choking has become such a fetish/kink?

I'm already aware of the mechanics behind it but I want to understand what motivates someone to turn a life threatning situation into sexually pleasing.

[-] Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 11 months ago

It doesn't and shouldn't be life threatening. It's the feeling of light-headedness that enhances everything else that also surrounds that kink. You're actually not supposed to choke your windpipe but instead squeeze the sides of the neck to slow down but not stop blood flow. If done right and for short amounts of time it shouldn't be life threatening at all. Of course with like everything else there's a lot of people who don't know/don't care about the proper way to do it and end up just chocking their windpipe and stopping their breathing, which is extremely dangerous.

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[-] Xanthrax@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

My partner is super shy about it. She said she fantasizes about being taken advantage of, but obviously she would hate it irl. It's a role play thing; there's lots of, "you okay? Do you need me to stop? Etc...", and then right back into the dirty talk. It doesn't have to be an asphyxiation/ lightheaded thing either. It's a lot like getting whipped, having your hair pulled, getting bit/ scratched, etc...

I think a lot of it has to do with how women and sex are depicted in the media, and that creates fetishes growing up. Some people also like certain parts of the body. I noticed most people who like to get choked, like hands.

[-] dumpsterlid@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago

Are you expecting some kind of rational answer? A fetish or kink is basically defined by the sexual desire for something irrational. You can ask how that desire feels to possess or how one goes about playing out that desire in a safe consentual way... but you can't really ask why, why doesn't really come into it. It is sex, all of it is weird.

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[-] Mango@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago

I don't get it either, but somehow it still feels funny.

[-] uservoid1@lemmy.world 50 points 11 months ago

Green hoodie like to get choked

[-] Anarki_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 11 months ago

I'm sorry but... How is that a green hoodie?

[-] jettrscga@lemmy.world 24 points 11 months ago

Paint says it's R17 G159 B168. About even blue and green.

[-] Mango@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

Yeah! It's obviously a girl!

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[-] gmtom@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago
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[-] bruhduh@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Dungeon ni Hisomu Yandere na Kanojo ni Ore wa Nando mo Korosareru Raw - Chapter 6.1 - 16 shiet and here i was reading manga with this type of story (mc rewind time when dies) and in this pic he just rejected girl's advances (sauce is: Dungeon ni Hisomu Yandere na Kanojo ni Ore wa Nando mo Korosareru) also as wn reader i gotta warn those who'll start it, it's some "Inception" type of shit

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[-] Acters@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

now my usual motto is "let things go"

[-] hungover_pilot@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

choke choke

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this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023
1014 points (95.0% liked)

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