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Am I the asshole for being insistant about "wanting to murder the entire Romanov family"?

Around 4 months ago I was invited to see the school musical "Anastasia" by some theater kids that were friends of mine. I already knew the framing and content of the play is utter reactionary nonsense, but I decided to actually go yesterday night to watch to support my buddies.

The musical itself had good production quality, and there were some great unintentionally funny moments in there, too. I was dissapointed that the one communist didn't brutally blow Anastasia's brains out, but I definitely think the play gave me some resolve and inspires violence in me.

Anyway here is the main part, lol. It isnt the most precise retelling of events, but generally what went down, spare the details. After the play I was chatting with a bunch of the cast, and apparently one of them heard that I would have shot the Romanov family, if I was in the position to, (which they heard from a seperate friend that is actually socialist. ) I didn't deny it, and I actually fully leaned into it. "The Romanovs had no qualms on the treatment of their people. There would be no room for abdication, no humbleness to step down, obly death, ETC..." One giggled, another person gasped, "Do you feel no sympathy for them?" My friend (who played Tzar Nicholas) asked me something like:"Would you shoot the Romanov's even if it was me?! " "No sympathy. And yes, I would shoot regardless of personal connections" and I quickly left into the crowd. Since then, my friend has been avoiding me? idk he seems not happy with me. Am I the asshole here?

Either way, I would rather be perceived as an asshole than be a liberal in content.

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[-] Stalin_was_Ballin@hexbear.net 64 points 5 months ago

You probably should have elaborated a bit more instead of going, "yeah, I wouldve shot you, too" agony-soviet

[-] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 54 points 5 months ago

Well, you did basically tell your friend who just literally pretended to be Tzar Nicholas that you'd be willing to shoot them, right to their face. Haha

I would have just said something like, "I wouldn't be friends with you in the first place if that was the kind of person you were, so the question is irrelevant."

You could've been kinder to your friend, who is now either offended or scared of you (but that's kinda funny, to be honest).

But are you the asshole for insisting to kill the Romanovs? NTA!

[-] Stalin_was_Ballin@hexbear.net 37 points 5 months ago

"Thanks for not telling people you would've gone on a murder spree against the Romanov family during our time at the musical, honey. I know that took restraint."

speech-r took-restraint

Yeah, lol. OP could've just picked another time to go off. Real life isn't hexbear. (unfortunately) I can't go around saying Stalin did nothing wrong in public place filled with (what I assume are) mostly liberal people.

[-] MarxMadness@lemmygrad.ml 11 points 5 months ago

This is why the "look, this is just a shitposting forum!" defense of maximally hot takes has always rung hollow to me. Everyone spends a ton of time online these days, and if you say something all day every day online long enough, eventually at least a sliver of it is going to come out in real life. Maybe it's in a conversation like this, maybe it's after a beer or two.

[-] pinguinu@lemmygrad.ml 16 points 5 months ago

Yeah, it would've been smarter to make your case explaining what kind of society the Tsar upheld and represented

[-] Marxist_Femboy@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 5 months ago

I think my friend is more offended/annoyed at me. I probably should have rejected the question, or explained myself better. But we're beyond that now, lol 😅

[-] PaX@hexbear.net 10 points 5 months ago
[-] REEEEvolution@lemmygrad.ml 49 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

"Would you ahve shot the Romanovs, even if it was me?"

"Yes" stalin chad

[-] bennieandthez@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 5 months ago

No matter how many cute musicals, movies and TV series they make, id do it in a heartbeat.

[-] davel@lemmygrad.ml 47 points 5 months ago

There are no stupid questions.

Would you shoot Hitler even if it was me?

There are some stupid questions.

[-] ksynwa@lemmygrad.ml 41 points 5 months ago

My friend (who played Tzar Nicholas) asked me something like:"Would you shoot the Romanov’s even if it was me?! "

Czarist detected

[-] ksynwa@lemmygrad.ml 33 points 5 months ago

On a serious note your response is a bit too harsh. I think the correct thing to do is to not entertain that scenario because logically it makes no sense. Your friend and Czar Nicholas are two completely separate people. If he was Nicky then he wouldn't be himself and therefore not your friend.

[-] Marxist_Femboy@lemmygrad.ml 22 points 5 months ago

Yeah. I suppose I could have just rejected the premise of the question...

I am going to talk with him later today, so hopefully it's less awkward, and I could explain that...

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 38 points 5 months ago

Would you shoot the Romanov's even if it was me?!

Would you ride a bike even if it was your grandma with wheels for legs?

[-] DinosaurThussy@hexbear.net 32 points 5 months ago

You had an opportunity to make people reconsider the glorification of monarchs. Instead you allowed the conversation to move from being a hypothetical about historical figures to being a concrete situation about your immediate friends. And then you doubled down on murdering one of those friends, whose connection was that he was playing a character in a play. It’s not your fault that you got such a loaded question, but the only appropriate response was to deconstruct that question. I think you could’ve steered that conversation differently.

If it’s a surprise that your friend is avoiding you, then I think you’ve had a lapse of empathy while gaining precisely zero ground in people understanding your position better. Whether your care about him avoiding you is your prerogative. But it shouldn’t be a surprise.

[-] spacecadet@hexbear.net 32 points 5 months ago

Hypothetically killing teenagers without remorse may socially ostracize you, yes

[-] PoY@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 5 months ago

also if a play incites you to violence then who is the reactionary?

[-] Moonworm@hexbear.net 25 points 5 months ago

You told your friend you would shoot him, lmfao.

[-] MatBC@lemmygrad.ml 23 points 5 months ago

I think it's not a good look to say you'll shoot a classmate, even in hypothetical, I think it was better dismissing the hypothetical as nonsense, which it is, answering it with the question, would you condemn your population to violence and hunger? Otherwise yeah it's not wrong to have that stance just think you could go about it a little more gracefully, cause one problem is that when we are THE communist some people know they'll judge communism based on US and the optics of how you went about it might lead them to believe communists are more trigger happy then they are.

[-] frauddogg@lemmygrad.ml 20 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

NTA, the Romanovs had it coming and so does anyone who still defends them, especially the ones who think they'd leverage a friendship that CERTAINLY WOULD NOT EXIST if the petitioner were a Romanov

[-] darkcalling@lemmygrad.ml 20 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

You could have been a bit more diplomatic with a friend. Dishonest a bit but it would have been a chance to swerve and say that if you were their friend it wouldn't likely get to that point, that you'd convince them to abdicate or that if you were their friend you'd likely have similar class interests and not want to shoot them so it's a moot point. Pivot then to how much you value them as a friend but they should really read up more on the truth of the matter and that particularly ugly royal family. But it's not always easy to keep one's cool and be collected in the moment with the perfect things to say.

Still you should apologize and try to explain a bit. Reframe it and explain how awful the Romanovs were as people and how you don't see them as being like that at all.

Romanovs did deserve it though and not the asshole for holding that point of view.

[-] Aquilae@hexbear.net 18 points 5 months ago

I would shoot

kind-vladimir-ilyich

[-] EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net 15 points 5 months ago

You're right, your friend is just a liberal in need of education on what the Romanovs were actually like.

[-] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 15 points 5 months ago

Would you ~~love~~ shoot me even if I was a ~~worm~~ Tsar?

[-] bubbalu@hexbear.net 15 points 5 months ago

The form of your opinion makes sense, but your delivery was brusque, immature and alienating. Propaganda is a skill, and I hope you can learn some good lessons from here. In general, you are going to seem nuts rigidly and dogmatically relitigating historical events. It's better to deflect around these sort of questions and talk concretely about contextually relevant issues.

If you lead off the bat with the most extreme and least relevant example, you will probably foreclose the opportunity to build the prior beliefs necessary to support this less relevant position.

[-] comradecalzone@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 5 months ago

I was dissapointed that the one communist didn’t brutally blow Anastasia’s brains out, but I definitely think the play ... inspires violence in me.

I don't think this is a good thing. It is true that violence becomes regrettably necessary in resistance and revolution, but it should not be something we take pleasure in, for a myriad of reasons. It leads to adventurism, it hinders our ability to grow our movement, and it puts our culture in a bad spot post-revolution towards successfully building towards communism.

And on a personal level, no, you should never, ever tell your friend that you would kill them under some hypothetical scenario. You should never let the conversation get to the point where that's even a question being asked.

[-] SadArtemis@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 5 months ago

NTA. As others are saying, the Romanovs deserved it- but also- the very system of monarchy as it existed in Europe, meant that the existence of the Romanovs was a constant threat which could result in the loss of lives of millions, and a reversion to the old order (of serfdom and aristocracy). So long as the royal family existed, other European monarchs and domestic monarchists would seek to return them to power.

Libs can cry and whine about the Romanovs or (to a lesser extent) Bourbons all they like- frankly, I wish those people could experience the same things those living under their boots in the "good old days" did. Their executions were absolutely necessary- and it's incredibly interesting that people latch on to them as the ones to cry about, when millions of peasants, over many generations, had suffered their families' rule- and when there is no shortage of royalty and nobility in history, outright exterminating each others' entire family lineages, killing off rival claimants, etc... I'd go so far as to say that regicide and fratricide is a natural part of the system of monarchy throughout history.

[-] bennieandthez@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 5 months ago

Mfers be supporting carpet bombing entire villages but oh no the poor aristocrats lives matter!

[-] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 5 months ago

Top performace would be to show there dressed as Yakov Yurovsky

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago

It would have been better to point out how stupid your friend's question was. Thars a really weird hypothetical, like if he was a Romanov and your were a revolutionary ar the time you wouldn't know each other personally, so the it's a senseless thought experiment on its own. Like...if my firend became The Romanovs since apparently this guy is hypothesizing himself as an entire family we wouldnt be friends anymore, so.if he's going for modern day it's also weird and stupid.

"If I were a totally different person who did horrible things would you kill me?"

"Yes"

"I can't believe you're willing to kill me"

[-] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 10 points 5 months ago

Insisting that Alexei should be killed is cringe since he was already dying and wouldn't have made it past the harsh Russia winter anyways. And he wasn't so important that his death had to be bumped up several months. The dude would've just died from bumping his head too hard or stubbing his toe.

As for the rest, meh. Most overthrows of a feudal dynasty are violent and even if we pretend the Bolsheviks were just supporters of a new feudal dynasty, they didn't treat the Romanovs any different from how a victorious feudal dynasty treated a defeated feudal dynasty. The Romanovs, as a feudal imperial family, understood this. The founder of the Romanov dynasty basically ordered a three-year old pretender to be hung among other things. And now that the shoe's on the other foot, they want to be treated like citizens of a liberal democracy. Nicholas could've done the actual feudal way of abdicating by gouging his eyes out and joining a monastery where he could spend the rest of his days as a blind monk like so many feudal pretenders to the throne, but he didn't do that, so he simply paid the price of a feudal sovereign who refused to abdicate for real.

[-] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 5 points 5 months ago

The founder of the Romanov dynasty basically ordered a three-year old pretender to be hung

To be fair, he was pretending to be a T-Rex which is kinda scary.

[-] EuthanatosMurderhobo@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

"Would you shoot the Romanov’s even if it was me?! " “No sympathy. And yes, I would shoot regardless of personal connections”

What for though? Where is political pragmatism?

The amount of memes on the subject I see from western leftists makes me question if there are very few sources available in English or it's just juvenile cruelty. It was local initiative, strongly influenced by strategic situation during the civil war in the region. Nicolas was "citizen Romanov" by then and the party had a 1001 reason to keep him and his family alive, including plans for a public trial. Lenin was pushing for their evacuation to Moscow. Also...moral implications of killing a couple of teens that were there, anyone? Kill them, because they were born into the wrong family? How very conservative... Not to mention penty of nobles up to and including at least one Major General of the Imperial army I can remember went on to form the core of the Red Army.

Consider the implications for propaganda too. Why create a bunch of martyrs for the Whites? Using exactly this argument, later that same year Maxim Gorky convinced Lenin let Nicolas' sick second cousin go. Lo and behold - no one remembers Gavriil Constantinovich Romanov.

[-] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago

Nicolas was "citizen Romanov" by then

Drawing on the Chinese example, PuYi abdicated in 1912, then in 1934 the Japanese put him on the throne as Emperor of Manchukuo. 20 years of being just a regular guy (in theory) did not diminish his usedulness as a figurehead.

More broadly, the focus on the Romanov children is just a vector for the spread of anti-communist propaganda. Capitalists, reactionaries, liberals, and fascists will cry crocodile tears for Princess Anastasia while voting to bomb brown children without a single second thought. They don't care about children, they care that children are sympathetic and can be used to spread their message. It's no coincidence that the white supremacist 14 words end with an appeal to securing an existence for their children.

The propaganda aspect is especially obvious since OP's friend invoked the nonsense emotional appeal of "would you shoot the Tsar if he were me?"

[-] EuthanatosMurderhobo@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Drawing on the Chinese example, PuYi abdicated in 1912, then in 1934 the Japanese put him on the throne as Emperor of Manchukuo. 20 years of being just a regular guy (in theory) did not diminish his usedulness as a figurehead.

That's pretty much the "strategic situation" I mentioned - there was real risk of them falling into the hands of the Whites. What I meant to point out is that there was no good reason to just up and kill him at the time. Its not like he was in command of the movement or anything.

More broadly, the focus on the Romanov children is just a vector for the spread of anti-communist propaganda.

Sure, but not coming from me. Still regrettable, not something to replicate.

The propaganda aspect is especially obvious since OP’s friend invoked the nonsense emotional appeal of “would you shoot the Tsar if he were me?”

Yyeap. Even modern monarchist schitzos get some people into their bullshit by riling them up about it and many don't wanna hear nothing about there having been no orders from Moscow afterwards.

There is a reason Soviet textbooks talked about the topic sparingly if at all. It wasn't something that went as planned or desired at all.

[-] comradecalzone@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 5 months ago

Capitalists, reactionaries, liberals, and fascists will cry crocodile tears for Princess Anastasia while voting to bomb brown children without a single second thought.

The propaganda aspect is especially obvious since OP’s friend invoked the nonsense emotional appeal of “would you shoot the Tsar if he were me?”

From OP's friend's perspective, it's likely a sensical appeal coming from a place of valuing life, which is an excellent opportunity to force him to confront the contradiction.

[-] Kirbywithwhip1987@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 5 months ago

AITA for hating the fact that they were shot instead of getting guillotine in the middle of Red Square?

[-] dinklesplein@hexbear.net 8 points 5 months ago

YTA but you (obviously) had the correct opinion

[-] amemorablename@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 5 months ago

It's sort of beside the point, I think? Because litigating the morality of an argument over hypotheticals is a red herring to begin with. The real point is about the conditions those people were living under, the power dynamics in play, and the response necessary to secure liberation. What they did is try to put you firmly within a framework of idealism, which is about doing the "right thing" (as abstract moral principle) even if the circumstances surrounding it would tempt you to do otherwise. So in their minds, you affirmed that you are hypothetically morally bankrupt and would not do the abstract moral principle "right thing." Naturally, that's going to make them uncomfortable around you because idealism is all about what people are capable of and whether they are willing to strive to overcome their "base urges."

The question is, do you want to be friends with them? If so, you'll probably need to go out of your way to be more diplomatic about this stuff. If this were a question of organizing, I'd say, don't bother. Friendship and making sure you stay safe, that people aren't viewing you as some kind of loose cannon when you aren't, can be a little different.

We shouldn't have to go above and beyond to deal with people like this, and let's be real: sometimes we're not going to. The idealist position would say we should always strive to, no matter what. Well, sometimes it's just not going to happen. BUT, that doesn't mean you have to leave these situations to impulse either. What you can do is try to learn from it by reflecting on what about it didn't work, how you would like to present yourself and your views going forward, what outcome it is that you're even wanting. For example, are you wanting to vent? to persuade? To be the opposition when everyone is affirming the norm? Keep in mind the last one can be very difficult to do alone and it's easy to slip into defense mechanisms instead of keeping a clear head, especially when people are throwing nonsensical hypothetical gotchas at you or citing some of the same talking points you've heard a thousand times.

this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2024
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