[✓] Small Pox
[✓] Murder Hornets
We're almost there, humanity!
this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2024
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Yes, the only three problems!
Oh wait someone has started unchecking all the previously checked boxes
Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if RFK Jr. Came out in favor of murder hornets
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Small pox won't be checked for long.
Declared extinct in the wild by the WHO in 1980.
RFK will probably support reintroduction, so....
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“Yeah, yeah, we’re totally eradicated. All is now fine, there’s nothing to worry about. Sleep well!” - Sneaky Murder Hornet.
“Somehow, the murder hornets have returned.”
Would have been solved much quicker if they where ceo killing hornets
LMAO. Its sad that this is so funny because its true.
Article written by Dr. M. Horneté
Brilliant thanks for the chuckle mate.
Hey hey, the US actually won a war! Been a long time coming..
(camera focuses on the news playing on a TV in a home in the countryside, slowly pulling back away from the monitor)
"...thanks to their efforts, experts have now stated with certainty that this threat has been eradicated..."
(the camera has pulled back enough that the screen is framed by an outside window with a tree trunk coming into frame from the right)
"...and many communities in the northwest united states can breathe easier knowing that these dreaded hornets are no longer found on our shores. Reporting from Seattle..."
(focus shifts to the tree bark. Buzzing is heard, getting louder and louder until a single murder hornet queen lands on the tree. Cut to black. Roll credits)
Coming Soon...
MURDER H4NET
Murd3r Horn3t: The Buzz3ning
Snakes On A Plane 4: This Time It's Hornets- A film by Chat GPT
Yeah sure "murder hornets". Like "murder japs", "murder communists", "murder vietnamese", "murder gays", "murder blacks" or "murder arabs" before. I think I'll hold off celebrating until I know how much oil those hornets had in stock.
Hey man, I don't disagree with you.
However, I think if you take every article you read and turn it into, "meanwhile I am waiting for someone to fix the planer." You are not really doing much. All of us, including myself, want what you want but those are things that are irrelevant to this article and we should take to things that are relevant.
Fuck fascism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, and anything else that is down right degrading to any human being who is just trying to be happy
In the same vain though, fuck hornets, fuck those little murderous monstrosities.
That was a joke about USA assigning threatening labels to anything it threatens or exploits to make public afraid of it instead of being supportive of it. As most jokes, it based on the subversion of expectations, which in this case was the suggestion that hornets are good and misunderstood. Comparing them and what they're doing to bees to gay or black people was intended as a sprinkle of dark humor, implying their (hornets!) destructive nature finds parrarels with the multitude of oppressed kinds of people.
Way to tell me I'm unfunny and my sense of humor sucks, man (jk)
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America and its "wars against...."
America hasn't won any war since WWII, and that includes wars against drugs, countries, people, religions, etc. I highly doubt they won this one. I remember "mission accomplished"
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finally some good fucking food...
Anybody know where i can get some murder hornets from? (i jest, ofc)
shitposting aside, how rare is it that invasive species are eradicated before becoming a problem? Can't be that common.
Never. Cause the definition of "Invasive species" includes it being a problem. Otherwise they're called "Introduced species".
Yeah they are probably lying. They can not know with 100% certainty that these giant asian hornets have all been eradicated in the us. They couldn't get rid of something as benign as the spotted lantern fly or the marmorated stink bug but sure lets believe they got rid of a hornet as big as a humming bird that has facial recognition capabilities and can unalive people with a swarm no larger than 50 to 100 of the fuckers
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Pretty uncommon but it has happened. Especially with agricultural pests where there is a large industry that can push for a proper response. I’m guessing beekeepers were the industry in question this time.
If it only affects nature and not industry then it’s usually ignored.
I'd just like to thank everyone for doing their part, posting, reposting, and fear mongering it.
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Now you gotta send help to Australia. Those damned emus are a worthy adversary.
Who to help? Australia is run by emus. They won in war.
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Whew. Looks like the feds didn't find the colony of buzzy buddies I've been nurturing in the suburbs.
Can't wait for spring!
They really didn't go with homicidal hornets? We actin' like fun alliterations just come around all the time now?
War against Murder CEOs remains unresolved.
It was wild seeing researchers bait them with Meat and tie flags to them, but the fact that this strategy actually worked longterm is beyond wild.
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It sounds stupid but I really want to imagine China was behind all this as a test run of bio warfare via invasive species and there's just some random CCP agent going Rats! We've been foiled again. Start dumping more corn syrup into our honey exports!
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