this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2025
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Personally, I like the idea of some sort of fuzzy subterranean gremlins from Mars.

Elon arrives and they prank him to death.

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[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 18 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Sexual contentI once had a peculiar dream in which I went to Mars and had to explain Earth's plight to the locals. The Martians were a lot like the humans of Earth, albeit a bit taller, and more strikingly, they did not communicate by either verbal speech or by signing with the hands. Rather, the Martians would insert a pseudo-penis into a pseudo-vagina, and then twitch these organs rhythmically at high speed in a manner reminiscent of a telegraph key. This apparently allowed them to transmit large amounts of data very efficiently.

[–] MLRL_Commie@hexbear.net 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Definitely the best idea I've ever heard for a unique take on alien life. There is a huge, awesome book to be written about interactions with this species and I won't be writing it. But I hope someone does

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 3 points 6 months ago

I found it a bit difficult to communicate with the Martians, not least because I would endure a very distracting amount of sexual pleasure with every word uttered by or to me. In hindsight I maybe could've made some sort of device to communicate for me, but perhaps that would've been taken by the Martians as a bit cold and distant.

I still think this form of communication is an interesting idea, and I've considered adding it to my conworld, but the problem is that I cannot imagine any real reason why the Martians would evolve to communicate in this way.

[–] FidelChadstro@hexbear.net 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Like Helen Keller's contact-sign-language but horny

[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I think the term you meant is tactile sign language, rather than contact sign, but I get what you mean.

[–] Hexamerous@hexbear.net 13 points 6 months ago

I dunno what they'll look like but let's hope they don't have universal translators.

Cows: "There they are, the ones I told you about."

Humans: yikes-1yikes-2yikes-2yikes-2yikes-3

[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 13 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I want to believe that Rodenberry knew something and the Vulcans 🖖 are exactly as portrayed.

But I could see them being feathered lizard like bipedal creatures, or perhaps crab like. I think bipedal because dexterity of appendages would be necessary to develop a written language and build precision tools. It seems to be a fluke of historical events that furless mammals were the species to emerge as the highest intelligence.

Goo creatures like Yafet on the Orville would be pretty cool tho.

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 11 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Yafet on the Orville

RIP Norm

But as an actual response to the bipedal thing I think some sort of cephalopod like animal is also a distinct possibility.

[–] macabrett@lemmy.ml 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, it definitely feels like if cephalopods had longer life spans and began passing on knowledge, there's a good chance they'd evolve to be pretty intelligent over time.

[–] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I think the biggest hurdle is the ocean environment. It is hard to create lasting change in the environment so there is a limit to how much intelligent action can contribute to reproductive advantage. As it stands they are probably near human level intelligence just specialized in ways we can't communicate with.

[–] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 6 points 6 months ago

There does seem to be a correlation with lacking natural tools being a pressure to develop

[–] Ericthescruffy@hexbear.net 11 points 6 months ago

Based on what we understand about the universe I honestly genuinely think that Aliens who could accomplish intergalactic travel would basically have to be some kind of eldritch horror to our eyes. Their biology or perception of time would be have to be so far removed from what we think of as sentient life I think we'd find them beyond comprehension.

[–] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 10 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

They would be four foot tall desert crabs. They would have at least one hand with extra pinchers so that it gives them complex grasping ability. They would live in colonies. They basically would evolve intelligence to work together cooperatively to gather resources during the wet season and then unfortunately to steal resources better during the dry season. Their complex manipulators would allow them to make tools to improve their lot and eventually create enough surplus calories to develop large brains

[–] macabrett@lemmy.ml 10 points 6 months ago

Alien planet of corvids. Highly capitalist like ferengi. They just love how shiny gold pressed latinum is.

[–] EndMilkInCrisps@hexbear.net 8 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Energy beings are the only aliens that could possibly live long enough to make interstellar travel a possibility. Either Robots or some kind of extradimensional being.

[–] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 4 points 6 months ago

Natural hibernators with a medusae like tellemere protection factor could work.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 4 points 6 months ago

Some close encounter stories talk about robots and there's a theory that grey aliens are androids, or something.

[–] MLRL_Commie@hexbear.net 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You still believe in the speed of light?

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

they would look like you and me. undetected, they would walk among us in bodies resistant to fire and magic.

they are the Dutch and we must resist them at all costs.

[–] Cowbee@hexbear.net 7 points 6 months ago

Waiting for the Posadists to come out posad

[–] ThomasMuentzner@hexbear.net 7 points 6 months ago

they look like us , but more slender , because of gravity , and they look for Art Music and Entertaiment , as they allready have everything else under space communism.

thats also why they would not make first contact.. it would spoil the unique arts and the entertaiment they get.. , since they did first contact with Zobrob 4, they only produce shit...

[–] cosecantphi@hexbear.net 7 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I really recommend watching Scavengers Reign for anyone who finds this type of thing interesting! I guess it's probably not scientifically accurate from a speculative evolution point of view, but wow the level of thought and detail put into the alien ecosystem is mind blowing. Really beautiful show.

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 4 points 6 months ago

The tiny guy in the anemone was my favorite.

[–] ikilledtheradiostar@hexbear.net 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

that show has a weird "biology is magic" thing that vandameer has.

Also it has life cycles that make no sense, like parasites that can live in any species, gestating acid bomb clones instead of pollen, etc. neat show tho

the clone thing is so wild. Like how much energy and mass would be needed to do that when you could just evolve seeds with prickles.

Another gripe I have is how quickly they utilized the local flora/fauna for things. It took generations of humans to figure out what mushrooms wouldn't kill you, or what bark would slightly alleviate inflammation. These motherfuckers are using a land skate as a gas mask after being there a quarter.

I thought of a neat way to hand wave all that tho. A throwaway line about how the planet was a dumping ground for bio weapons. It would provide an explanation for everything.

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 6 points 6 months ago

Big humanoid bugs who are dtf bug-facts

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Find the Dragon Balls (look out for them all!)

goku-doorstep

[–] refolde@hexbear.net 3 points 6 months ago

Shenrong I wish for the complete dissolution of the Zionist entity timmy-pray

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'd imagine them to look like some random weird animal. People overemphasize weird sea critters when going down this route; there's plenty of convergent evolution to go around and they might only look as weird as star nosed moles (on a casual glance from the outside; their interior anatomy and bone structure would be weird as fuck).

I don't know why you'd ship actual live beings across interstellar distances. Either implies there's a way around the speed of light, or somebody is really fucking bored. The later is of course more likely.

[–] cosecantphi@hexbear.net 2 points 6 months ago

I don't know why you'd ship actual live beings across interstellar distances. Either implies there's a way around the speed of light, or somebody is really fucking bored. The later is of course more likely.

I can see it for the closest star systems to ours, the dozen or so stars within about 10 light years of the Sun. If we can get a spacecraft to 90% of the speed of light, time dilation cuts the elapsed time aboard the ship down to 43 percent of the elapsed time on Earth. The crew would perceive getting to Alpha Centauri in just 1.84 years.

[–] someone@hexbear.net 4 points 6 months ago

Honestly I'd expect von Neumann probes. Self-replicating machine intelligences. Given the time scales and energy requirements to send big spacecraft capable of sending organic life as we know it safely between stars at high relativistic speeds while still working within the known laws of physics, I just don't see alien spaceships as sci-fi depicts being a thing.

[–] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I genuinely think they'd look more or less like humans with latex prosthetics. Same kinda basic layout with similar advantages and drawbacks, with miscellaneous differences based on their home world conditions. Maybe their butts are in their nipples or they smell through their hair or something, but I think the evolutionary pressures that lead species to the development of technology would end up being remarkably similar to the ones that lead us to develop it.

[–] CredibleBattery@hexbear.net 2 points 6 months ago

this guy watches star trek

[–] Andrzej3K@hexbear.net 3 points 6 months ago

I think they'd have weird foreheads but otherwise be like us

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

They'll try to give us a vaccine against all disease but people will drive them off out of fear it will give them autism.

[–] TheLepidopterists@hexbear.net 3 points 6 months ago

Weird.

I think they'd be weird. Like there's no real need for them to have bilateral symmetry, a distinct head that contains respiratory, alimentary, olfactory, auditory and visual organs.

They might rely heavily on senses other than sight and sound, or see and hear totally different ranges from us.

They could lack individuality, or be some kind of hive mind.

I think they'd be really weird, but also I think that due to the size of space, even though I assume one intelligent species at least must be out there, that we'll never meet one.

[–] ikilledtheradiostar@hexbear.net 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

i would guess pretty close to earth.

phospholipids naturally occur and form "cells"

amino acids naturally occur and form "proteins"

Solar energy is abundant so life forms will need to make us of it, photosynthesis will probably be used to move electrons first

glucose is so easy to make things from

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 2 points 6 months ago

I, for one, bling gnarpofff gbimb doftzerp pygn-pygn-pygn

---

I wasn't sure how to spell all that. It is my most humble desire that "pygn-pygn-pygn" be seen as polite not sarcastic. The pleading case as a triplet is very confusing for us homo sapiens. Please don't hurt me.

[–] RiotDoll@hexbear.net 2 points 6 months ago

they're from here, scientific materialism has fundamental limits that cannot readily describe all phenomena, and i bet they look like little grey assholes.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 2 points 6 months ago
[–] Saoirse@hexbear.net 2 points 6 months ago

On Kepler-22B, a telescope pointing back at me.