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submitted 4 days ago by yogthos@lemmygrad.ml to c/news@hexbear.net

The U.S. has — by far — the world’s largest defense budget, spending $948 billion last year. Its armed forces have 1.3 million personnel — some of them currently stationed in Greenland. Denmark, for its part, last year spent $9.9 billion, has only 17,000 soldiers, and most of its heavy land-warfare equipment has been donated to Ukraine.

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[-] john_brown@hexbear.net 71 points 4 days ago

US military conducts first major beachhead operation since WW2

Thousands of American troops freeze to death

[-] Dolores@hexbear.net 36 points 4 days ago

marines in ancient AAVs drowning en mass because nobody thought to check if the water had icebergs before ordering a landing

[-] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 60 points 4 days ago

this is like an old school StarCraft battle.net grief move. you wait until your "ally" sends in an attack wave, then send your dudes into your "allies" base and then turn off allies/unshare vision with them.

then when they post "wtf" in the chat, you say, "you should never trust the [your team's race]" or something else deranged.

[-] sooper_dooper_roofer@hexbear.net 11 points 4 days ago

"you should never trust the [your team's race]"

you should never trust honkeys?

[-] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 54 points 4 days ago

Just so everybody knows, the shortest war in world history was the Anglo-Zanzibar War, which lasted approximately 38 minutes. So if the US invasion of Greenland takes fewer than 37 minutes before Denmark surrenders, it will officially be the new shortest war in world history.

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[-] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 41 points 4 days ago

This has been honestly better foreign policy from Trump than I could have ever expected, burn all the bridges in the imperial core even before taking the office

[-] yogthos@lemmygrad.ml 20 points 4 days ago

really is a great start of the presidency

[-] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 17 points 4 days ago

You love to see it. I implore all American PATRIOTS to encourage this behaviour from the white house!

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[-] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 49 points 4 days ago

Gonna predict a quick and easy war based on enemy official military spending and the size of their standing army, eh? Gotta respect the classics.

[-] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 29 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

And now, Greenlandic Dora in 2026:

"That YanKKKee soldier was just sniped by a qoqassiisarlutik sorsuttut. That's what we in Greenland call a guerrilla fighter. Can you say qoqassiisarlutik sorsuttut?"

editThat might actually say "guerrilla fighters" rather than just "guerrilla fighter", I'm not sure

[-] TheLepidopterists@hexbear.net 14 points 4 days ago

I absolutely cannot say qoqassiisarlutik sorsuttut, but I do thank them for their service.

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[-] homhom9000@hexbear.net 16 points 4 days ago

Worked with the Houthi's

[-] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 51 points 4 days ago

I wonder if the US will just straight up start annexing it's allies

[-] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 39 points 4 days ago

It would be hilarious if Greenland got senate seats

[-] jack@hexbear.net 68 points 4 days ago

I can confidently say the imperial expansion will not include expansion of the franchise

[-] CarmineCatboy2@hexbear.net 58 points 4 days ago

whoops, all Puerto Ricos

[-] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 30 points 4 days ago

I swear to god if I see one more post about how annexing greenland would be sooooooooo stupid because then their democratic representatives would all vote for the socialized healthcare and leftist policies they're used to since they're part of Denmark I'm going to become the fucking joker. The layers on it!

[-] Collatz_problem@hexbear.net 4 points 3 days ago

Eagerly waiting for a new Social War in the new Roman Empire.

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[-] Lemister@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago

Greenland has like 50k inhabitants. It will be a territory until american settlers turn it into a mini-alaska.

[-] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 29 points 4 days ago

[Norway declares independence after 277 years of Danish rule, Sweden immediately invades] "God dammit!"

[Norway declares independence after 91 years of Swedish rule, Germany invades 35 years later] "Not again!"

[Norway liberated after 5 years of German occupation, USA invades 80 years later] "WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?!?!"

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[-] Blockocheese@hexbear.net 41 points 4 days ago

I know everyone is laughing at the absurdity of this but please think of the Inuit who are already colonized by Denmark

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[-] lorty@lemmygrad.ml 32 points 4 days ago

I feel like the US is just gonna take it and everyone will pretend it was nice and cool.

[-] yogthos@lemmygrad.ml 24 points 4 days ago

That seems like the most likely scenario, cause let's be real who's gonna stop them?

[-] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 10 points 4 days ago

They're gonna buy it I'm sure. Horse head type of situation

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[-] glimmer_twin@hexbear.net 26 points 4 days ago

Yes it will be short when all the NATO treaty members all have to launch nukes at each other because of mutual defence.

(I know this won’t actually happen and the us can just do whatever it wants of course)

[-] yogthos@lemmygrad.ml 27 points 4 days ago

Also worth noting that article 5 doesn't actually say what people seem to think it says. It just states that each member has to help in some way, but the level of support is completely up to them. It absolutely does not require members to engage militarily.

[-] carpoftruth@hexbear.net 28 points 4 days ago

Canada commits to sending $12b worth of laser guided Thoughts and Prayers

[-] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 17 points 4 days ago

Canada donates their entire military to the invasion of Greenland leaving them completely open to the American Anschluss

[-] mathemachristian@hexbear.net 11 points 4 days ago

Germany sends some rusted chainmail

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 31 points 4 days ago

Support plummets among chewing tobacco enthusiasts once they find out the city of Copenhagen has nothing to do with the price of dip.

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[-] ClathrateG@hexbear.net 15 points 4 days ago

If it's shorter than 6 days he's going to piss off the Zionists

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[-] miz@hexbear.net 16 points 4 days ago

nuclear armageddon would be pretty short too

I don't think duration is the key problem with how bad a war is

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this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2025
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