this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
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Slop.

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[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 56 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

didn't one of the online missions from GTAV involve doing work for a satirical version of Elon Musk (Avon Hertz) who, besides being an obvious ultrarich tech douchebag, turns out to be an omnicidal shithead that the player has to kill to stop him from incinerating the planet with nukes for "progress"?

gtaV is probably the least biting in its satire of American culture, but shitting all over tech moguls (and even killing them hilariously) is a consistent refrain in the game. like they have the player kill the Mark Zuckerberg stand-in back when the game launched. not just because his in-universe social media platform is deeply invasive of privacy (LifeInvader), but also because shorting his stock just before taking him out with a cellphone bomb at a live stockholder hype event nets a shitload dough.

Musk is like a guy who opens a popular book that is about Elon Musk being a loser that is comically murdered and says, "this is lame, actually, and no one likes it."

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 18 points 3 days ago

Musk is like a guy who opens a popular book that is about Elon Musk being a loser that is comically murdered and says, "this is lame, actually, and no one likes it."

There's a reason his every cameo appearance in cartoons and things back when he was popular (like the Simpsons and Rick and Morty) needed to be as toothless and blindly praising him as possible, with 0 mockery, no matter how much it clashed with the show's general tone. Dude has probably the world's most fragile ego.

[–] MineDayOff@hexbear.net 19 points 3 days ago

LifeInvader

[–] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 43 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm glad shooting cops in cyberpunk is optional too, I like beating them to death with my massive gorilla arms

[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)
[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 40 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I mean, I find GTA boring but shooting pigs is the best part of that series

[–] OldSoulHippie@hexbear.net 37 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

If you're playing the plot, you're doing it wrong. Get under a bridge and kill enough cops to get the waves of them coming at you through a river, and then make cop soup

........in the game, of course

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I have never played a single mission in a gta game but have killed more cops than exist irl in them

[–] CthulhusIntern@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Well, that makes sense. In mission, cops are so stupid, miss at close range, maybe hit you occasionally if they're lucky. They're actually a challenge outside of missions.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago

Trains>cops

[–] OldSoulHippie@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago

Same. Cheat codes are the best

[–] CyborgMarx@hexbear.net 33 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] ShareThatBread@hexbear.net 32 points 3 days ago
[–] wideopenarms@hexbear.net 19 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Who looks at this and says "based"? Milquetoast liberal winemoms and grandpas?

[–] BynarsAreOk@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago

The doing crime here is dog whistle for being/associating with POC so even Gamers will say this unironicaly and then turn around "so anyway" and proceed to buy and play the game.

[–] Xenomorph@hexbear.net 23 points 4 days ago (4 children)
[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 17 points 3 days ago

tbh this would make a good father / son dance song for when I marry my dad.

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago

Wow that was painful on multiple levels.

Finally, an honest anthem for America.

[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 2 points 4 days ago

A Reddit link was detected in your comment. Here are links to the same location on alternative frontends that protect your privacy.

[–] erik@hexbear.net 21 points 3 days ago

Worst part about VI being delayed is we get another year of these dorks being overly performative about a game they claim they’ll never play. Something something virtue signaling.

[–] Lucien@mander.xyz 18 points 4 days ago

I'm going to play GTA VI twice to make up for these losers not playing at all

[–] Tenkard@lemmy.ml 10 points 3 days ago

You shouldn't fight cops in cyberpunk, it's not funny. You should install the mod which makes it funny instead

[–] rootsbreadandmakka@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago

The new punk rock

[–] volcel_olive_oil@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago

step one: the new GTA has a woman protagonist

step two:

[–] CthulhusIntern@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

These guys will be overly performative about how good the game is if there's a caricature of a trans or woke person in the game.

[–] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

if there's a caricature of a trans or woke person in the game.

It's going to be tough for these manbabies, considering even Rockstar went "woke" when they removed all transphobic caricatures from the game with the release of GTA 5 Enhanced Edition a few years ago. too-woke-2-alt

[–] Rojo27@hexbear.net 15 points 3 days ago

Shidding myself after I accidentally shot a cop in the opening of GTA V. May have to sue RockStar Games for damagesangery

[–] micnd90@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I'm a g*mer and I have not had the need to kill any virtual beings in 10 years. I mainly play Pokémon, Splatoon, Pro Evo (up to 2018, the new ones sucked), Mario Kart, fighting games (SF6, Guilty Gear), and competitive Monster Rancher 2 on constant rotation. Get on my level Elon.

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Mario Kart

how do they get the koopa shells?

[–] entropicdrift 10 points 3 days ago

Koopas canonically can live without their shells just fine. I guess they're basically hermit crab turtles?

[–] Enjoyer_of_Games@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

billionaire-tears Help wanted: Monster Rancher 2 Leveler. Discretion a must

[–] micnd90@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago

Pls support our game, we have arguably the most active worldwide competitive scene for a 26 years old PS1 game

https://legendcup.com/

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

competitive Monster Rancher 2

I always give up when my monsters get old and die. sadness

[–] micnd90@hexbear.net 8 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

You don't have to these days, you can freeze them, and make them battle online for eternity, if you build the monster competitively (with min-max'd stats) you can enter and re-enter tournaments (it is CPU vs. CPU, all you have to do is sign up) for eternal glory. If you don't build them competitively, you can just battle endlessly against other online upload monsters at your convenience, or battle it against other monsters that you raised, CPU vs. CPU control for your amusement, and you can unfreeze the monster and have them walk around your ranch. Or you can combine them with other monster in your ranch and build towards 999 in all stats god on earth.

The game is more or less solved, here is a tool https://legendcup.com/advanced-viewer-mr2.php so you can see all the hidden stats (stress, fatigue, etc.) and you'll know exactly how much lifespan your monster have left.

[–] josefo@leminal.space 8 points 3 days ago

damp ass losers, also gta2 rocked hard back in the day

[–] daniyeg@hexbear.net 1 points 3 days ago

dan you could've searched the names of the actual GTA titles instead of just numbering them dan. dan GTA VI hasn't been out yet dan no one has played it dan. dan your list also misses the breasts (or cock and balls idk) of someone else dan.