Today fucker. Why you got to remind me I just turned 40. Fuck!

I’m 50 and still don’t.

When the moms at the skatepark seemed too young to flirt with.

When I noticed how excited I get about good quality appliances.

When a little boy in the supermarket called me "sir"... I'm 18

Shortly after turning 34, it occurred to me I was closer to my 50th birthday than 18th.

Well, throwing out my lower back bending over a table a couple weeks ago sure didn't help...

I was at Warped Tour many years ago, talking with randos in the campground. I mentioned which bands I was there to see, and this guy gave me a huge smile and yelled 'You're old' in my face.

I took four naps on my day off. I'm 32.

Within the past few years, once my neck problems started getting worse and I finally went for an MRI and was diagnosed with arthritis.

0/10, do not recommend.

When I honestly felt that what my homemade juice/blended smoothie thingy needed more of was celery and that without enough celery it was too sweet and lacked body. That was the day there was no more pretending. Only a year before had I suffered through my first back injury, so they can go together.

Otherwise, the beginnings of it for me were when I noticed warming up for physical exercise took longer. 10-15 minute bicycle commutes used to require no warm up at all. Then I’d feel warmed up only by the end of them. That’s when I knew I was turning the corner.

Politicians being younger than me.

When I realized I could say "I've been doing this for 20 years".

I was speaking to someone at a party recently and realised they where both in their 20s and born after 9/11. Was quite a moment.

when the web became an application platform

When I realized that the games I enjoyed in college were released over twenty years ago.

When I started sharing aches and pains over lunch with friends.

At my BF's cousin's 18th birthday party, a small family do at the uncle and aunt's house. The living room was full of people 60+, so as 30 something young people we naturally headed out into the hallway to hang with the cousins and their friends. All these young people barely registered us and just moved aside to let us past, they didn't even look at us, just carried on talking to each other. We got to the kitchen and looked at each other and just went oh shit, we're old aren't we. Grabbed drinks and headed back to the old folk, at least they would speak to us!

When my cousin's babies that used to play in my grandmothers house had children of their own

When I turned 50 this year...

When I address my peers suddenly as "old white men", and then realize they're just as old as me.

The first time was when even the "old man" veteran professional athletes were younger than me.

When I had to fill a survey and I filled age group 25-35 instead of 18-25

Cellulite. :(

First time I picked up the laundry basket and my back hurt. I'm careful now to lift with my legs but my back hurts more or less in the same place when it does hurt. My vision's going too, but that's genetics, not age related.

"sir"

When kids born after I could drive started getting their licenses. That's when I knew I was a grown up for real.

When I got blackout drunk last week and I'm still feeling the hangover effects.....I'm 29 for fuck sake! Let me do what I did ten years ago and still come out strong!

When I was 23, I was in a conversation with some teenagers and realized I didn't understand half the things they said.

The gap grew at 30. Teens and social media challenges? Planking? Chili powder? Tide pods?

Now at 40... YouTube drama? Lil skizzle doing a pop tart on Biancas Insta made her reem? I don't even wanna know.

Multiple times a month ever since the day I was taught what birthdays are.

People have started calling me ma'am.

When I started to need to constantly crack my lower back.

When I was 21, and I got the first of my "arthritis."

It's in quotes because years later it was diagnosed as an entirely different (and even more debilitating) disease, but I still effectively have arthritis a lot of the time, I just now also have constant insomnia and fatigue.

I've always enjoyed some classic rock, when I was a kid I used to listen to the oldies station and groove to some Steppenwolf or whatever. One day I was driving to work, radio tuned to the classic rock station, and they played Pearl Jam.

40 essentially. Intensified when my anxiety peaked from tapering off meds, and realized that at 60 im 75% done with my span statistically.

When I looked in the mirror one day and saw all the gray in my hair and beard.