this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2025
126 points (85.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

36172 readers
2208 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

For those that can't stand this time of the year, my misery seeks company. What does it for you?


For me: aside from the usual family stuff:

I worked front-end in a post office back when that meant a line-up before I opened the doors to the end of the day when I had to inform the line-up that was still out the door that, yes, I was going to close on time. (Some didn't take that well. For me it was just another Tuesday...)

It meant a lot of work with little thanks and I had to listen to the same shitty Xmas playlist over and over all day.


Edit/PS: The quick downvote sells it. Perfection. chefs kiss

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 30 minutes ago

i hate the ultra consumerist version and the jesus version for different reasons

[–] msokiovt@lemmy.today 1 points 10 minutes ago

Here's the religious reason: It's a pagan holiday with these symbols.

  • Santa Clause - Odin
  • Elves - Krampus
  • Yule - That's a Scandinavian holiday
  • Santa's nickname of "Old Nick" - Lucifer

Non-religious reason: It's just another bank holiday, and a consumerist one at that (at least in America).

[–] sturmblast@lemmy.world 2 points 48 minutes ago (1 children)

It's a religious holiday, and I am an atheist. It means absolutely nothing to me, but people try to make me feel guilty about disliking it.

[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 1 points 42 minutes ago (1 children)

There are tons of nonreligious expressions of it.

[–] sturmblast@lemmy.world 2 points 40 minutes ago

I couldn't care less.

[–] HotDog7@feddit.online 1 points 53 minutes ago

Holy shit. You guys are miserable as fuck. Having to find a gift for your company's Secret Santa or White Elephant event isn't the fault of Christmas. That's the fault of your company's and/or society's corporate culture.

If you find yourself miserable at a party, then don't fucking go to it. If it's organized by your company and you were forced to attend, then once again that's not Christmas' fault. Ask yourselves these questions:

  1. Were you forced to attend (e.g. takes place during work hours)? If yes, then blame the corporate culture.
  2. Does it take place after work hours? If yes, then why are you attending it? If your answer is because of pressure from your bosses and/or you fear not attending means you'll suffer professionally, then it's the corporate culture's fault.
[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 1 points 55 minutes ago

It's just stress.

Stress I don't need.

It's a corporate holiday and it causes weeks, if not months, of stress.

And if you've worked retail during the holidays you have had whatever Christmas joy you still felt as an adult stripped from you forever.

I would absolutely love if Christmas never happened again.

[–] wizbiz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Because it promotes Christianity

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 1 points 34 minutes ago

I'd be fine with if that's all it was, I can respect people who maintain tradition for whatever reason. It wouldn't be important to me, but I get logically how tradition maintains community bonds. That's fine, we have a lot of ethnic and religious traditions that various groups follow and they don't impose it on anyone.

But Christmas most definitely does not promote Christianity, it promotes some kind of heinous, bastardized version of modern Christianity that's completely about meaningless product consumption, decoration and ritual without meaning.

Will growing up learning to string electric lights on a slowly-dying pine tree turn a kid Christian? Most likely not... but he is sure going to learn that when he gets his own apartment (as required in modern capitalist single-family living) he will spend that money on his own dying pine tree and string of electric lights.

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 7 points 2 hours ago

Christmas is fine in moderation. The problem I have with Christmas is that people try to stretch Christmas out to have it take over other parts of the year.

I also feel like Christmas is the holiday that requires the most work and I'm not a fan of holidays that require me to do a lot.

[–] HakunaHafada@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 hours ago

Rampant commercialization and consumerism. I don't have a problem with small family gatherings and candlelight church services, but I do have a problem with the Christmas industry. Also: I despise ugly Christmas sweater parties.

[–] Janx@piefed.social 2 points 2 hours ago

It's the season I still hate. The Holidays sucked when I worked retail, and back then we didn't even have to work Christmas unlike many stores now! It's certainly not better these days, and the amount is stores that are open on the day is insane. We can't close it even a single day of the year to allow the workers to celebrate with their family and friends!?

I no longer work retail, but I still see the craziness. Everywhere is crowded, everyone is rushing around and stressed and grumpy and driving crazy. Everything is just bad this time of year...

[–] myfunnyaccountname@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 hours ago

Overplayed music. Everything revolving around spending money. Usually on things people don’t need or want. The food is great. And time off from work.

[–] raynethackery@lemmy.world 7 points 3 hours ago

My mom was the one who loved Christmas. She loved decorating and shopping and the music. She died in 2010 and it has never been the same. It might have been okay if we still had small children in our family but all her grandkids were grown up by the time she died. We didn't even have any kind of celebration the first few years after. So, Christmas died with her.

[–] lukaro@lemmy.zip 10 points 4 hours ago

All the individual small family units in my family have been married had kids, gotten divorced and most remarried with more kids. There are so many split families with kids that some years we end up having 6-8 family dinner get togethers just to make sure all the kids were included. And since it would be mortal sin to give a gift to one kid and not another even if you had given the other one the previous get together the kids get so much shit they actually get bored opening gifts. The whole thing is an over blown nightmare for everyone involved but the women in the family insist on it because Christmas is for the kids and we can't take a chance of a 4 year old feeling left out. I threw my hands up a few years ago and my wife handles it all. I just have to be her uber to all these events, watching bored over stimulated kids that want nothing more than to be home playing with their new stuff, being put on display as they open even more stuff.

[–] Weydemeyer@lemmy.ml 17 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

I genuinely hate the aesthetics of it. I can’t stand Christmas music or Christmas movies (the music especially is just so bad). The “Christmas episodes” TV shows run are so incredibly corny. I find the decorations to be tacky and ugly. I feel like I’m suffocated by so much cheap plastic crap that will be thrown away after the holidays.

I suppose that all wouldn’t be so bad if the “Christmas season” didn’t stretch out for so long. It’s now well underway before Thanksgiving, and I’m being conservative with that. That means at least 10% of the year - so 10% of my life, too - is spent under the Christmas regime.

But on a deeper level, I think it points to a real sickness in society. Capitalism has so thoroughly destroyed our real social connections to each other. It breaks those human bonds and creates atomized individuals who are only supposed to care about themselves. But that’s not who we are as a species - we are social creatures who have a couple hundred thousand years of cooperation with each other in order to survive.

On some level, capital “knows” ripping us away from our social being is not only unnatural, but atomizing us so thoroughly harms social reproduction. Christmas has become a way of resolving this problem. BUT, it’s capitalism… so the solution can’t be something like “give workers the month of December off so people can spend real quality time with each other”.

So capitalism has created this artificial holiday structure where “family”, “giving back”, and “what really matters” is centered, but it’s all done in the most superficial way possible. It’s all kabuki. Capital creates an imitation of social connection and still manages to make it about accumulating more capital. Spend money on presents. Don’t like the commercialism around presents? That’s ok, spend money on airfare or gas to see your family. Use up your meager PTO at the end of the year when it’s slow and costs your boss less. But I think getting workers to spend money is still just the secondary objective of Christmas. It’s much more about getting people to forget how deeply separated we are from each other. To pretend for at least 10% of the year that everything is normal, capitalism is normal and being disconnected from each other is normal so long as you watch a couple movies once a year that are supposed to remind you that “what really matters is family” - the feeling though, not the reality.

That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

(Copying what I said on the lemmy.ml cross post because I’ve been thinking about this for a while and want to get it out).

[–] promitheas@programming.dev 2 points 2 hours ago

Having to spend time around people I dont care about but have to pretend I do. Also my birthday is soon after, which overall makes the season depressing.

I don’t really hate christmas as a whole. It is after all the source of winter break. But we don't actually need christmas for most of the good things that it currently provides. That said. The fact that I read news stories about a power outage potentially causing a small business to fold because it happened during the "critical" christmas season tells me that christmas is just plain wrong. So presents are why I hate christmas.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 10 points 5 hours ago

This was a tough year for us financially, so nearly everything for Christmas had to go on a credit card.

All through November and December, I had to choose between adding more to the debt or disappointing the kids. Logically, I know the right answer is "Don't spend more than you can afford" but I think any decent dad would agree that "Merry Christmas kids! Nobody gets anything they wanted because I'm a failure at providing for my family!" has to be pretty close to the bottom of acceptable options.

My wife always imagines a Norman Rockwell Christmas, and has big plans for what she'll cook and what games we'll play and how she'll decorate. She does a great job every time, but it's a lot. She stresses over being able to do it all, and any inevitable mishaps are catastrophic.

This year, I'm trying not to be a Scrooge, but it's a challenge.

It's all humbug!

[–] winkerjadams@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 4 hours ago

I just hate the overplayed music mainly.

I had a friend whose son died around christmas so it was always a rough time for him :'(

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 24 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I'm kinda done with it taking up a third of the year. You start seeing Christmas decorations and shit hit store shelves before Halloween.

[–] Weydemeyer@lemmy.ml 3 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

When my dad was a kid, my grandparents did absolutely nothing for Christmas - no decorations, no tree, etc - until Christmas Eve, then they went all out. Then they’d pack it all up the day after Christmas. I feel like if the Christmas “season” was only a few days, I’d hate it much less.

I reserve some time between ~Dec 20 and ~Jan 10 for bright colored sweaters, visiting relatives, exchanging gifts particularly for the kids, rich food and strong drink...I live in the Northern hemisphere, it's the beginning of winter, it's cold and bleak and the days are short, spend a bit of time doing something to keep your brain inside your skull.

Why are we selling 8 foot tall inflatable glowing candy canes in early October?

[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 5 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

While I don't hate Christmas, my household isn't Christian and we don't celebrate it. Of course we know people who do and we're happy that they're enjoying it, but the really tedious bit is all the mainstream Christmas marketing and pushes of it as the "norm."

The fact that the big stores start with the Christmas stuff around September now really gets up our noses.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 7 points 6 hours ago

I used to hate Christmas because I felt obligated to surround myself with my asshole family.

Then I retired from family Christmas, and all is well.

[–] mybuttnolie@sopuli.xyz 24 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

i hate having to come up with ideas on what to buy for people who already have everything. all just because we are brainwashed by capitalism

[–] stoly@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago

I buy experiences and consumables. No more stuff.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 6 points 6 hours ago

I mainly just focus on buying people nice edible treats. Biscuit boxes, chocolate, turkish delight, fancy coffees or teas.

[–] sparkles@piefed.zip 2 points 4 hours ago

It has been several decades since I was in a position that I was doing more than making magic for others. I’m exhausted. But I want to keep giving my kids core memories because they deserve them. But there is no joy. Just obligation/financial burden/mental exhaustion. I hate it.

[–] datavoid@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

This post is hilariously popular...

My main issue with Christmas is that I have had a few incredibly traumatic experiences during it over the course of my life. Now it just makes me feel extra stressed and depressed. I also come from a split family, with a bonus split around 10 years ago. I'm not longer really in contact with the two people I would have considered my brother's growing up. Also my wife is working on permanent residency in canada, so she is also really sad about not seeing her family for years now.

Also my wife flat out refused to visit my mom or dad this year, thank god for drugs and self harm!

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 9 points 7 hours ago

My wife is determined to make it as stressful and chaotic as she can, and then spend the rest of the year complaining about how stressful and chaotic it was.

[–] the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 18 points 8 hours ago

It's shameless corporate horse shit disguised as shameless religious horse shit.

[–] FridaySteve@lemmy.world 11 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

The constant bombastic music is absolutely terrible. Jingle jingle jingle jazzy jazzy BELLS BELLS BELLS BELLS DING DANG DONG And remember, if you complain, it means you don't want any presents this year!!

Also it's MERRY CHRISTMAS not HAPPY HOLIDAYS even though there's advent, christmastide, St John's Day, St. Nicholas Day, all those funny South American holidays, all Christian holidays celebrated at this time that are not Christmas. But JESUS is the reason for the season.

[–] scala@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 hour ago

Technically, Pagan is the reason for the season.

[–] bizzle@lemmy.world 6 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

My wife has been listening to stomp n holler Christmas songs since fucking November it's getting really old.

[–] burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 hours ago

I would lose my mind. Holy hell.

[–] stringere@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)
  • Started with always stealing my birthday thunder as a kid.
  • Blatant commercial holiday (in the USA at least) encouraging rampant consumerism.
  • Cultural appropriation; no fucking sleighbells and fir trees in Jerusalem. Pretty trim on reindeer, too.
  • Stole the holiday and trappings from the pagans they persecuted.

Edit to add:

  • Had to visit family from the born again christian evangelicals on one side and republican supply side jesus christians on the other.
[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Oh! I forgot about birthday thunder!

I'm right there with you, in between Christmas and New Year's Day.

[–] stringere@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 hour ago

Same span for me, too.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 20 points 9 hours ago

I just hate the consumerism of it all. Gift giving shouldn't be or feel to be obligatory, it should just be something extra and unexpected.

[–] Asafum@lemmy.world 10 points 8 hours ago (3 children)

Driving... I hate driving. Because I live somewhat far from where the family gathers I get volunteered to be the family taxi and go all over long island picking up people. Turns an hour+ drive into 3 and then back doing it all over. Bleh.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] lemmyng@piefed.ca 17 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I don't hate Christmas, but it's a holiday that relies on tradition and I derive no joy from traditions. The whole "we're doing this because it's been done every previous year of our life" schtick just rubs me wrong. I recognise that for some people there is comfort in tradition. For me however it feels more like indoctrination.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

This was one of the few incompatibilities between my ex wife and me, but it ended up being huge to her. She likes tradition and is incredibly nostalgic. I have very little nostalgia, I had a bad childhood and I have a poor memory. She's the type that will listen to music from 20 years ago over and over. I like to find new music or things I haven't heard before. She can watch the same movies over and over again. Even my most loved movies I have only seen two or three times. She would even watch the entire run of shows like Friends that she's seen so many times before. Can't stand that shit, it's a shit show anyway.

So be careful. I wish I hadn't made my dislike of nostalgia so abundantly clear, and spent more time trying to enjoy it Most people feel it deeply and sometimes it might be better to go with the flow.

[–] lemmyng@piefed.ca 4 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

Oh definitely. Like I said, I don't begrudge others the things that bring them joy, and I will make reasonable effort to not spoil it for them. But it drains my social battery to be masking all the time, which further degrades any second hand fun I might have.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›