cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/41974217
Calling it “Jesusland” is misleading. People might think anything Jesus supposedly taught actually happens in that shithole.
this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2026
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I think anyone who knows anything about Jesus would know exactly what a country named “Jesusland” would be like!
If you don't think Illinois is part of Jesus land, I have news for you.
I mean the Mormons teach he used to hang out there.
What about "honk Jesus honk Jesus Jesus"?
United Provinces and Territories of Canada
The bullshit happening in the USA is ours to correct.
There will be no magic way out of our situation.
I'm glad to be seeing this take more and more vs the desire to jump ship.
I mean, I do agree.
But also. Jokes about Canada geese invading are amusing.
(Psst. We have poutine in Minnesota )
Y'all did Colorado dirty with that map
Dude, Colorado Springs could be the capital of Jesusland.
Fair but that Focus on the Family dick died...so...
Yeah, they got good weed. Motion to annex Colorado
seconded
isn't new mexico cool too? should we annex them as well?
yeah CO and New Mexico definitely should form a coalition to seceed. Tuscon and Phoenix can join us!
I'm hesitant about phoenix. that city is a testament to man's arrogance. but there's a really good gyro place there that i like
You're gonna snag all of Pennsylvania? You, uh, really sure you want to do that?
If Pennsyltucky could read they'd be very upset.
hey, I resemble that remark.
I mean, we have nice fun hilly backroads to drive on, here in western PA. And the Amish, quirky as they are, are still generally pleasant.
I admit that's a short list of redeeming qualities for the Western half of Pennsylvania but how the fuck are we supposed to compete with the Poconos? Wilkes-Barre is too fucking pretty. Western PA can be pretty gorgeous but not that picturesque.
And just the top part of Illinois. South Illinois can suck it in Jesusland
Was thinking the same thing.
Yeah, but this is every state though. Blue cities and red rural areas.
As a Michigander I approve this transition. Where can we sign?
Petition to save the non Jesus-Land Colorado peeps.
Secondsed
Seriously. Why Colorado but not Michigan?
Jesusland would be so fucked, economically... and in every other way.
We call the heartland not very smartland, IQ's are very low but threat levels are high. They got a mandate, they don't want man-dates, they got so many hates and people to despise
IMO they could even rename it to trumpistan if that helps grease the wheels.
Sorry Colorado and Austin, TX, you're on your own. Good luck.
You don't want Austin. That's where all the tech billionaires are retreating to
O Canada please take (some of) us Michiganders in. We love you and we love hockey almost as much as y'all do 🙏
Don’t worry, we’re part of The United States of Canada on this map. 😁
Nooo I dont wanna be locked in jesusland
Me too. Locked in jesusland for a good reason sadly.
Liberate tutemet ex inferis
I might consider moving to a colder state if that happens.
Absorb us. Do it, cowards!
Yeah, I don't want any of their territory if the people come with them. They'd have to leave then apply to become Canadian to ensure they live to our standards and not swarm us with their lingering tendencies.
I will happily down a Moosehead whilst watching curling on one channel and hockey on another.
I won’t root for Aston Martin in F1, though.
Isn't MN considered honorary Canadian already? We even got that little nub at the top poking in anyhow...
some of those kids have to take the school bus through Canada to get to their Minnesota public school.
Tell me what to do and I'll do it.
idk man, flinging timbits at trans people and getting absolutely shitfaced so they dont have to remember that they're rooting for the Jets this season aren't exactly high standards to meet.
... unless you just meant the standards in, like, Ontario.
Alberta sets the bar pretty low from what I've heard.
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