lol, lmao
i love nick adams if he's the hooters and beer guy. most unserious person ever
this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2026
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Slop.
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bring back the character limit
Extra credit: guess the ChatGPT prompt that was used to generate this story.
"Make a story about me owning the libt*rds, put in a little girl...I AM NOT A PEDO, her dad is beta, I save the day, (Melania Movie:1.50)"
Me, a father of two little girls, randomly asking a person who is walking past me at the theater if they are going in to see a movie that I am not going in to see.
"You going in to see Avatar?"
'No'
"Yeah, me either."
So anyway i dumped my Melania tickets on some loser and sneaked into the cop bunny movie screenin.
TWINKLE IN THE EYE HAHAHA
I was in a hipster coffee shop this morning surrounded by young Democrats taking a break in between Melania screenings. A group of them next to me were whispering how inspirational the movie was and how grateful they are that President Trump cut popcorn prices, giving them extra cash to spend on cinema.
lol, his post has more originality and narrative structure than the movie he's shilling for I'd wager
This has to be a bit right??? Please. It has to.
He is, unfortunately, the US Ambassador to Malaysia.
Hahaha what the fuck. Incredible.
I'm surprised the right isn't saying, "We are urging our followers NOT to go see 'Melania' as part of the general strike...and it's working."
This man was standing around in public, creepily staring at children until this story popped into his head
Nah, this is absolutely ChatGPT.
he was definitely staring creepily at children tho
No question. 
"Avatar? No, son,” I curtly replied. “I don’t watch woke movies. I’m here to see the groundbreaking documentary about our incredibly talented First Lady.”
Okay sweety, the chicken nuggies are in the lunchbox, remember, if a bully tries to take your nuggies, tell them firmly 'no' and then ask one of your little girls to tell the bully off.
Mall ninja sounding loser
These people worried about "wokeness" and they're schilling for a movie about the woman their special boy despises and who despises him. There are men right now consuming a stranger's jizz from their wife's lady parts who are infinitely less cucked than these people.
So we've narrowed it down that he's not doing a long con bit because he got a job with the Trump admin, so occam's razor is he's earnestly a meme irl, and this needs to be studied.
Maybe this is a sign that the conservative propagandists have become aware that in the age of people buying the most outlandish AI slop as real, they don’t need to worry about suspension of disbelief when it comes to their “and then everyone clapped” stories. So the more outlandish it is, the more it agitates the base instead of making them go “waaaaait a second.” It’s going into Poe’s Law territory but on purpose instead of inadvertently.
the more obvious the lie, the more you signal your loyalty to the in-group
In strange aeons, even bit accounts themselves may materialize into meatspace.
South Park Jimmy "Does he know he's an ad?" moment
And then everyone clapped
reminds me of the time i farted so crazily that everyone at that particular Burger King cheered and declared me the mayor of all burger kings.
This person can't be serious, seriously
He's been nominated as the US Ambassador to Malaysia. This 1000% did not happen, but it's not a bit.
finally, a real life friend for Ian Miles Cheong
Incredible
But yeah the story, lol. I too always go to the movies with several extra tickets in my pockets. As we all know, this is completely normal behaviour and very much something people do.
He forgot to switch to his fan-fiction account
Whenever I go to the movie theater, kids keep stopping me to ask what movie I am watching. It's annoying.
.
Hey at least he knows to kneel to their level. If you've ever seen videos of one of these sorta of freaks speaking to kids, you might notice that they do it completely upright; leaving the kid no choice but to crane their head straight up to look at the adult.
I noticed with my niece and nephews that getting down to their level to talk, and talking to them like humans with their own interests and priorities, instantly makes them like you. Kids just want some respect and acknowledgment. They don't want to be baby-talked down to or treated like an afterthought or nuisance.
"You're just a s*upid little baby man"
Me when some kid tries to bug me for my letterboxed review of kino in the theater.
Classic
Guys that call other guys "son" are dumb. Do they think that's some sort of " alpha" move by making a grown ass man their lesser, like son to father?
It's their rhetorical method of depicting one person in a story as the soyjak and the other as the chad. Sonjak.
Yes and it has its origins in America in racism. White men would call men of races lower on the hierarchy "son" or "boy" and never acknowledge them as men. It is meant to be emasculating and psychologically dominating. A constant reminder of the "order" of things.
This is of course completely separate from other cultures having a tradition of using family words for non-family members, often as honorifics (like using "uncle" or "auntie" in China to talk to an older person). The "order of things" being reinforced here is just respect for ones elders, which is a fairly common and benign cultural tradition.
mfers think they're Stone Cold Steve Austin or something.
Was the flyer that promised 50$ for watching the entire movie real?
I know Israel was doing this for podcasts, advertising that they would pay for people to listen to them lmao
Same vibes as men who claim to be of a 'certain caliber'. I feel terrible for their partner who've been unknowingly duped into settling for a .25 acp.