That poor greasy carpet...
this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2026
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Every single day I see something from a pet owner that reaffirms how happy I am to not have pets.
My cat I got when he was a few months old.
Picked up from the street, would have died in the winter probably.
However I raised him to deny any of my food. He has its own food.
It was difficult the first 3 times. He begged for the food the whole time I ate. And even tried to get sth. But I was iron willed to keep my food.
The 4th time he never begged or tried to get sth.
And now I can even leave the food unattended for 2 minutes with him nearby and he won't try to get sth.
3 minutes is risky though.
I've raised dozen of strays I picked-up from the streets over my lifetime. None but one was food motivated enough to steal our food, and the orange one that did isn't so stubborn as to push his luck, a simple hush was enough to deter him.
Though I'm South-East Asian, most of our food is plant-based and the occasional meat we have is drenched in seasoning I don't think they recognize it as food lol.
Even the cats are splurging on rotiserie chickens in this economy?!
Nine pounds apparently is around 4kg, that's well within the normal weight range for a cat, why are you calling beans out for it?
I think the point was that a 9lb cat doesn't need 2-3lbs of food. Beans is choosing not to share.
A cat can have an entire an entire rotisserie chicken as a treat.
i think the point is that Beans has chosen to dedicate their entire weight to violence. they all know they outweigh Beans and shouldn't be afraid, but Beans has made Beans into the world's most dangerious teeny tiny little itty bitty kitty terrorist
Our Cleo once grabbed a whole KFC drumstick, and managed to swallow it whole. That was one expensive evening at Kitty ER.
She also frickin LOVES Parmesan cheese. I caught her getting into a large cabinet, and in the back she had a stash of those little packets, like you get at a pizzeria.
is 9 pounds
was 9 pounds.
That 1% Nacho kid is going to have a new goal.
Beans is my spirit animal
same vibe
No. Eyes don't match. So the whole movie monster fails. The terror of cat's eyes (specifically in the dark, when you can't determine size and distance of the cat) is hard coded into our brains. An evolutionary thing as "cats" for most of the time used to be on the upper end of the food chain and your chances of reproduction massively raised if you were the first one to spot the cat - and run for your live. Just look at the typical cartoon panel symbolizing the dark and dangerous unknown, a dark place with cat's eyes looking out. You'll be subtily terrified - if the shape and proportions match the "cat" scheme.
Greetings, fellow old person
You will want thick gloves, a thick towel, and a container with lid to insert the cat into. Beans is not declawed, and knows you will struggle to maneuver under the bed. You may need a spray bottle of water as well.
Good luck.
The thick gloves protect you while you grab Beans and put him in the container.
And it's just always a good idea to carry a towel.
But claws are the fun part!
Fuck it, I'm getting another chicken.
Beats getting another hand.
declawed
I haven't yet had my fingertips snipped off either. Lovely euphemism for "mutilation of extremities".
Me, looking up what declawing actually does: wtf that's not declawing, that's amputation!
Reading further: "can lead to behavioural issues" no shit, you don't say...
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I cooked a lobster tail once, and our big alpha tomcat decided that he was just going to take it from me, right off my plate. I was more than willing to share, but he had other plans.
He had NEVER tried to steal anything before, he just really couldn't resist the smell of that lobster.
So what kind of violin did you make from him?
Not my Jake, he was a varmint, but we loved him. He took his job protecting us very seriously. But that lobster just smelled toooo good. I get it.
Beans would learn about the spray bottle that day. He would growl and be wet at the same time. Sad thing he knew he was not getting any of this without taking action so he took his chances. You may chastise him but he has already won
Beans is in charge around here.
Beans decides what the humans do and when.
Beans makes the humans ask permission to eat, sleep, exit and enter the house, and go to the toilet.
Sometimes Beans says no.
You should feed your cat more often.
That’s what you get for splurging on rotisserie chicken. /s
Beans hunted that bird and took it back to her lair let beans have her feast! 😤😤
I'll give you £9 for Beans.
£1/lb for fresh cat? In this economy??
Bad deal. I got my beans for 30p
I love eating chicken and beans
My dog resource guards. I don't know if I'm supposed to do this but when she gets in that mood I feel it is important that she not "win". I'm thinking this would reinforce that behavior.
I get bit a lot.
You should swap out the thing she has with something else of value. Treats, licky mat, toy, another piece of meat, whatever. This gets her used to something being taken off her and it not being a bad thing. Eventually the swap is just for praise or a pat, but for really valuable things you may still need something more valuable.
Good show, old bean.
apex predator
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