this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2024
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politics

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[–] Parsani@hexbear.net 69 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I take it that the herbs and potions aren't working

[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

Are you suggesting that the royal court homeopath is not doing his job?

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 59 points 1 year ago (3 children)

oh fucking lol it's pancreatic cancer?

it'd be so funny if england went straight from the oldest queen ever to a monarch dying every other year

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago

At this rate our comrades won't have to kill any of the royals themselves, they'll do it for them!

[–] ProfessorAdonisCnut@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It will be even funnier if it turns out that that that Rose Cholmondeley whatever's first kid was actually William's, he marries her to legitimize the bastard after Kate gets truss-the-plan'd and the Poms start a whole new war of succession

[–] Mardoniush@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

Charles' coffin is being paraded into the Abbey and suddenly Rains of Castamere starts playing.

[–] VILenin@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

Parasitic lich Liz had to drain the life expectancy of every future royal for the next 200 years to get as old as she did, this is the natural consequence

[–] huf@hexbear.net 54 points 1 year ago (3 children)

two royals having cancer at the same time? has putin finally perfected his cancer gun?

Secret agenttruss-the-plan will not stop until the royal line has been put in the ground.

[–] assyrian@hexbear.net 40 points 1 year ago

Putin perfecting the cancer gun and only using it on a 90 year old inbred monarch is a good bit

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 27 points 1 year ago

It's Moscow Syndrome

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 46 points 1 year ago (2 children)

How many days will the country shut down for this time?

[–] FoolishFool@hexbear.net 38 points 1 year ago

1 minute of optional silence

[–] QuillcrestFalconer@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago

They should shut it down forever until we can figure out what the hell is going on in Britain

[–] MalarchoBidenism@hexbear.net 42 points 1 year ago

Bro is gonna die before the new banknotes even enter circulation.

crab-party crab-party crab-party The crabs are ready.

[–] GladimirLenin@hexbear.net 35 points 1 year ago

They gonna fling his plague corpse into Russia?

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago
[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 31 points 1 year ago
[–] 2Password2Remember@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

die binch

Death to America

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

Death to the UK too

[–] Melonius@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago

I thought latest fad was to lock yourself in your tesla and drive in to your ranch lake but maybe its just an amerikkkan thing

[–] assyrian@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
[–] axont@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"work of the royal family"

Standing at a fancy garden party for 45 minutes to say hello to rich pedophiles. That's their job

[–] CarmineCatboy2@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

you forgot refusing royal assent for laws that cut into their earnings

[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

The job of the royals is to show up at fancy and respectable events and go "oh well isn't this interesting and important". That and to invite the richest pedophiles in the land to private hunting parties.

Can't he just jump to Thames himself and save everyone that hassle?

[–] SexMachineStalin@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago
[–] SexMachineStalin@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago

hey wait a minute...

29 March

Phew, all's good eleven-nine

[–] AOCapitulator@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Bankrupt yourselves with serial billion dollar funerals and crownings yessss hahaha

[–] NewLeaf@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

From the longest reigning monarch to not making it a full year...

At least this is likely to be the beginning of the end of the "royal family" mattering

[–] CarmineCatboy2@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

this is how my crusader kings games always go. 5 octogenarians until one 16 yo takes the throne. repeat.

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I had one dude being caliph of most of the map live to 104, next one was his great-great-grandson or something like that and he was like 5. He spent next 40 years explaining his 10 granduncles that they cannot be caliph instead of caliph.

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[–] Mardoniush@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I actually feel a little sorry for him. Pancreatic will fuck you up so fast you barely have time to process your death. Of course, he'll get the best conceivable care while ordinary people, even ordinary rich people, get far less or next to nothing.

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

He COULD receive the best care possible. But he's just rubbing herbal remedies on his body and calling it a day.

[–] SnowySkyes@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago
[–] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

kellyspeech-side-l-1King CharLesspeech-side-l-2

[–] Rojo27@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

I guess this guy will have a shorter reign than Edward VII.

[–] ArsenLupin@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Send it! Let's fucking goooooo!

[–] anonochronomus@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

I wish him a swift end to his suffering.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

die-motherfucker (but take Rishi down with you)

[–] Tychoxii@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago
[–] Angel@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] bigboopballs@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

not gonna make it, eh?

[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

To be fair these things are planned years or decades in advance. They kind of have to be with all the people who are supposed to be involved in it.

Prince Charles is probably not going to last very long though.

[–] AOCapitulator@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago
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