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submitted 3 months ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to c/science_memes@mander.xyz

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[-] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 279 points 3 months ago

For those curious, from Wikipedia:

Giving birth is difficult for female hyenas, as the females give birth through their narrow clitoris, and spotted hyena cubs are the largest carnivoran young relative to their mothers' weight. During parturition, the clitoris ruptures to facilitate the passage of the young, and may take weeks to heal.

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 100 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Eve: “So, what’s she do to piss off god?”
Serpent: “you don’t even wanna know.”

Eh the Christian god really is an asshole,

[-] cm0002@lemmy.world 54 points 3 months ago

"imTeLLiGENt DeSIgN"

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 35 points 3 months ago

I’m with the other person… if it was intelligent design… it was some world creation game and we’re in a speed run save.

[-] Icalasari@fedia.io 30 points 3 months ago

Or we have the equivalent of some Spore player who likes to make fucked up creatures for the sake of it

[-] AppleTea@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 months ago

assume infinite time and n number of ants: eventually Langton's ants will highway-draw the post on your screen

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[-] littlebluespark@lemmy.world 27 points 3 months ago

Abrahamic* to be precise. They're all the same asshole, just different names. (And, even that was listed from earlier cultures' traditions, FFS. Lazy, unoriginal, and fucking stupid? That tracks for religion all around, really.)

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago

I love how the gen 1 creation story basically reads like schoolboys one upping their friends about how great their dad is.

“Yeah. Well, my god made the world and everything in it! and he took a nap on. The seventh day!!!”

[-] littlebluespark@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago

Swap out "schoolboys" with "old fear-mongering pervs", and you're even closer to the historical truth.

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

well, they were old fearmongering pervs, no doubt.

I was just referring to the simple fact that the creation account was a cloned copy of all the others... just wit that squeaky "Yeah well my dad's twice the fireman your dad is" vibe. Sad they used their supposed power of their god to justify rampant invasions and genocide. (which they failed at the genocide because they were too busy raping...)

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[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 87 points 3 months ago

I uh... I was expecting it to be something like they eat a percentage of their own babies or something. Fuck that. Sounds like it would feel like giving birth through a penis.

[-] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 59 points 3 months ago

Fun fact: Female hyenas have a pseudopenis that prolapses into a dick that they rape their brothers with when they’re young

[-] charlytune@mander.xyz 64 points 3 months ago

I don't feel like I'm having fun here...

[-] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 3 months ago

Sometimes their hyena pseudo-penises fully rip off when they give birth, causing them to bleed to death!

[-] charlytune@mander.xyz 9 points 3 months ago

😭😭😭

[-] PiratePanPan@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 3 months ago

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[-] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 25 points 3 months ago

It sounds very much like that. Maybe worse.

[-] Affidavit@aussie.zone 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I was expecting it to be something like they eat a percentage of their own babies or something.

Well... If you insist.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tasmanian_devil

"Gestation lasts 21 days, and devils give birth to 20–30 young standing up ... As there are only four nipples in the pouch, competition is fierce, and few newborns survive."

One guess as to what happens to the spares.

[-] Zozano@aussie.zone 56 points 3 months ago

b4oi5phlztu71-2836181477

This might help.

Female Hyena's have what is called a pseudo-penis. Which is used for sex and urination, as well as giving birth.

Obviously giving birth splits it open fucks your whole year / life up.

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[-] cordlesslamp@lemmy.today 43 points 3 months ago

Evolution, WHY!!?

[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 15 points 3 months ago

"Because fuck you all" - Evolution

[-] pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 42 points 3 months ago

WTF?

[-] SpeakinTelnet@programming.dev 60 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Hyenas are matriarchals and they fucking deserve it.

Edit: They deserve their social position, not being ripped apart if that wasn't clear

[-] illi@lemm.ee 68 points 3 months ago

It absolutely wasn't clear lol

[-] Glifted@lemmy.world 61 points 3 months ago

The original message and the explanation were a rollercoaster for me. Not going to lie

[-] flicker@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago

I think I got whiplash.

[-] Lesrid@lemm.ee 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Interesting how ~~colloquially~~ connotatively "earn it" is more positive than "deserve it"

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[-] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 28 points 3 months ago

Hey, the cartoon dog did warn us.

[-] HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 3 months ago

Hyenas got shafted. And, shafted.

[-] GrymEdm@lemmy.world 127 points 3 months ago

It's one of my go-to arguments against intelligent design.

[-] Shadowedcross@lemmy.world 70 points 3 months ago

That, or God's an arsehole, which all things considered...

[-] GrymEdm@lemmy.world 151 points 3 months ago

“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”
― Epicurus

[-] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 23 points 3 months ago

That's a fire quote

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 22 points 3 months ago

Here's another:

I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

Isiah 45:7

In the land of intellectual adulting, however, people who know their history know the cult of YHWY, originally a single god from what was the Canaanite pantheon, clear evidence of which is still present in even the Old Testament, subsumed the mythological roles of protector and catastrophe, hero and villain, creator and destroyer in its path to monotheism.

[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 8 points 3 months ago

From what i've saw from videos on religious archaeology, the "definitive" yaweh is an amalgamation of 2 or 3 gods into one, which explains why his personality varies wildly from text to text. Vengeful asshole here, incompetent god of war against iron chariots, all loving elsewhere

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[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 37 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Or God is a ten year old who is playing around with a world generating machine and has since forgot about us.

We're just one of the thousands of world saves he placed on a memory card and threw into the closet and forgot about.

[-] henfredemars@infosec.pub 25 points 3 months ago

To be fair, if you look at the pale blue dot imagery, it really captures how difficult it would be to find us looking down in the universal sandbox. We might have simply been overlooked.

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 16 points 3 months ago

Overlooked? ... in that scenario, we're just an unknown accident ... it's like that tiny piece of mold at the bottom of the sink drain

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[-] protist@mander.xyz 24 points 3 months ago

Bed bug mating practices are probably up there too

[-] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 27 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traumatic_insemination

Yea wth

The process is detrimental to the female's health. It creates an open wound which impairs the female until it heals, and is susceptible to infection. The injection of sperm and ejaculatory fluids into the hemocoel can also trigger an immune reaction in the female. Bed bugs, which reproduce solely by traumatic insemination, have evolved a pair of sperm-receptacles, known as the spermalege. It has been suggested that the spermalege reduces the direct damage to the female bed bug during traumatic insemination

Yep I'm out before one of you furries makes a cartoon out of this.