this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 44 comments
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[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 125 points 8 months ago

My dog posted this.

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 67 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

This is a red, beige, and green checkered flag.

  • wants to chase down people
  • is whimsical
  • can't make up his mind
  • is controlling
  • cares about fitness
  • not a gym bro
[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 11 points 8 months ago

I want you to do exactly what I want, but I don't want you to do it because I want, I want you to want to do it. What an easy going person

Yeah this person sounds annoying and like they might be a serial killer later and i want to hang out with them. Possibly even enough to run.

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip 44 points 8 months ago

Honestly sounds fun but I'd want to vibe check with a coffee first lol

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 39 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Bro needs to get into competitive tag

[–] gray@lemmy.ml 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I need to get into this. How did I not know this existed?

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago

Come closer, I'll tell you how to get started with it.

"Tag you're it"

Runs

[–] Brett@feddit.org 35 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Would do it for free but i havent had a facebook account for over a decade now.

[–] TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 20 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 34 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Right, but one of the requirements is a Facebook post at the end.

[–] r00ty@kbin.life 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

It's probably from the era when everyone had a Facebook account. In the modern era, I am sure a Tik-tok (is that what all the kids are doing now?) video would suffice.

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 7 points 8 months ago

There was no era when everyone had a Facebook account.

[–] _druid@sh.itjust.works 27 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I was talking to a guy who wanted to stalk me through a mall until he caught me. He seemed confused when I wasn't interested.

[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Now consider this, you both have different shops in the mall you have to take a photo in, you start from different ends of the mall, the one who finds the other or takes the photos first wins. It could be like stalking but more of a game.

[–] _druid@sh.itjust.works 12 points 8 months ago (2 children)

That could be a cute game! But he wanted me to try and escape the mall. The price of failure was him ushering me to a dressing room to do things only he was interested in doing.

[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Pretty creepy, maybe not the best plan

[–] _druid@sh.itjust.works 7 points 8 months ago

I agree, and I let him know that haha

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

Because of the implication

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I would sign up for this in a heartbeat. Much lower stakes than doing a crime right in front of a cop, and probably almost as much fun

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You've clearly never done crime in front of a cop. It's very fun.

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 8 months ago

Never intentionally 😅 but I have had the pleasure of running from them a few times!

[–] ChillPill@lemmy.world 23 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] iii@mander.xyz 21 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] ook@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 8 months ago

You'd be so lucky

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 20 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Go play open-field paintball. Sounds like he’s into the hunt, so up the ante and be hunted too. Do the stalking while being stalked.

[–] baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

that's not a power fantasy anymore

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

You might be right.

[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 17 points 8 months ago

the many outs on getting paid is a deal breaker.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This person just needs better parents

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

well, they didn't get paid, so it's their loss

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Dude wants to be that one pirate from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride in Disney Land they used to have that just went in circles chasing a girl, and is then seen later running in a circle away from a fat woman with a rolling pin.

It's weird they changed those. Like... It was fair. He got chased back. And I mean... They're still blowing shit up, killing folks and stealing loot. How is chasing a lady around worse?

[–] apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

Serial killer type shit.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

for a second I thought I was on 196

[–] aesthelete@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

Read this in Nathan Fielder's voice.

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 4 points 8 months ago

Relentless chasing, like those robot dogs from Black Mirror.

[–] some_guy 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This person is unwell. Not because of the desire to chase someone (I have thoughts on that, but…) the high five and shit. Getting sweaty but they won't pay if they can't catch you but you also can't go easy on them if they're a slow fuck who can't catch you otherwise or you won't get paid. If I knew someone who posted this, I would disassociate from them.

[–] Surp@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Wow talk about a woosh of humor flying over your head lol

[–] some_guy 1 points 8 months ago

Perhaps. I like dry, absurdist humor. This doesn't read like that to me at all.