Surprisingly I only hit about 4... although maybe 5 as I use "roll out" when leaving...
this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2026
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Dad Jokes
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Oh man...11, always knew I was built for it, but I still ain't having any
About 6 or 7.
I feel attacked and inspired.
How dad are you?
No, it's "dad, how are you?"
Bonus point
This homey unlocked the extra credit
Lower than I thought, but still higher than I'd care to admit.
4, no surprise, I am not fit to be a parent.
I'm checking enough that I stopped counting
A lot of these are just normal things people say. Like, "what's the damage" is just a normal way to ask a price in English.
⬆️ This guy's a dad
I'm a single woman with no kids. :(
Your dad would be proud!
That's what you thought. Now you know you're a dad!
My dad always used to say to me "how much is this gunna rip me off" when looking for the price tag/sticker in store. I didnt realise this was tounge in cheek until when i started to venture out on my own, i said this to a shopkeeper and got this look from him... Instantly realised my mistake.
Maybe 4? Less than I thought.
damn. I must have kids somewhere !
(add it to the list)
A lot of these are default reactions in Germany (also by women).
Eight-ish? Dad of two nearing fifty so I guess I'm on par for the course.
One is discovered thanks to US memes is the dad uniform including New Balance. I bought some NB when I was in China and I have to say they really are comfy.
The one about awkward loads is hilarious to me. Because it really is true though. You can lift a shit ton more if you've a good grip! I can hardly lift a washing machine, but I can carry one on my back without issue.
You're about to have 48 more kids?
No, there's two kids who are both about to turn 50. Dad is of unknown age.
Well he'd have to be at least 50
Been a die hard for New Balance since college. It's just a good shoe, dad-ness not withstanding
I like to yell "HEY!" and point at a field full of hay bales. The wife almost always looks briefly concerned until she sees it, and then gives me the "a-doy" look. I think she secretly loves it though.
Try shouting "Jesus!" when you see a church with a sign about Jesus.
Or give their noggin a tap when you see a "bump a head" sign
Mooing at cows isn't on this string of thought, but it's still fun
I don't know, can you?
Answering yes to a one or the other question
Monty Python and/or Naked Gun quotes
My constant obscure monty python quotes arent landing, eh?
I always say "flock of cows" to bait someone into saying "herd of cows" so that I can say "of course I've heard of cows!" Watching their faces is priceless.
I do this from time to time but with bison. I will casually slip "flock of bison" into a conversation hoping someone corrects me to "herd of bison". So I can say. "No I hadn't heard about your bi son. You must be so proud."
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I'm a childless dude in his 40s and I tick several if you replace "kids" with other family/coworkers/etc.
Zero points actually.
Maybe "horses", thats at least a bit possible since I would notice and look at them.
As someone who used to work in retail, if I’m ever caught saying “guess it’s free then,” I sincerely hope everyone in the store immediately stops what they’re doing to form an orderly line to take turns slapping the piss out of me.
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Ouch… 18/20
Edit: They forgot the mandatory clicking of the tongs after picking them up.
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4½ out of 20 for me. I really need to step up my game!
I feel personally attacked
My dad always said "let's rock and/or roll" for departure.
my version of this:
I yearn to say "In the pipe, five by five" but I don't have the right public for that quote :/
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