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[-] Stern@lemmy.world 162 points 2 months ago

Just as the ducks at the park are free, there is also no legal requirement to answer the phone in particular way. Hit folks with a, "Ahoyhoy", "Howdy", "Whats good brother?", or for the more adventurous, "Ralphs Roadkill Cafe. You kill it, we grill it."

[-] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 120 points 2 months ago

"Dave's pizza and abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce" is a particularly spicy one I've heard.

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 18 points 2 months ago

Jim's abortion clinic ... We deletus your fetus

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[-] joelfromaus@aussie.zone 24 points 2 months ago

I usually get people with: “Anons Morgue: you kill ‘em, we chill ‘em.”

[-] harmsy@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

In my family it was variations of "Hello, Joe's whatever. Insert rhyme here."

One of my favorites was "Joe's mortuary, you stab 'em we slab 'em."

[-] HatFullOfSky@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

My dad's go to is "Joe's Bar and Grill, this is Grill speaking". Sometimes he'll shake it up and answer as Bar instead

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[-] philoko@ani.social 22 points 2 months ago
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[-] KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 2 months ago

I usually hit my friends with the "sup fuckface"

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[-] Tja@programming.dev 100 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[-] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 43 points 2 months ago

I like the explanation that devious spirits cannot say this phrase and that's why it's used. Apparently it's also just a casual way of saying "I'm ready to talk" and was used by early telephone operators in Japan. It's most likely people just ended up copying the phrase from operators and aren't worried about being tricked by foxes.

[-] KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone 44 points 2 months ago

Mosh moof

Fuck, I can't do it, they're right!

[-] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 17 points 2 months ago

Better luck next time, nine-tails.

[-] bort@sopuli.xyz 20 points 2 months ago

I like the explanation that devious spirits cannot say this phrase and that’s why it’s used

Evil spirits can not say the same word twice in a row. Foxes can not say "moshi". With "moshi moshi" you get a 2-for-1 special.

[-] sigmaklimgrindset@sopuli.xyz 10 points 2 months ago

Japanese people answer their phone like that, everything is fine.

I answer my phone like that, I'm branded a weaboo for the rest of my life.

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[-] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 54 points 2 months ago
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[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 54 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[-] BellaDonna@mujico.org 9 points 2 months ago

I thought of the same. I assumed this anachronism was meant to imply he was incredibly old and around for the initial rollout of the telephone.

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[-] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 53 points 2 months ago

Edison deserves hate for more than that

[-] Whirling_Cloudburst@lemmy.world 42 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[-] BossDj@lemm.ee 18 points 2 months ago

open mouth chewing on potato chips "Yeah?"

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[-] fiend_unpleasant@lemmy.world 39 points 2 months ago

Edison was a cunt.

[-] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 37 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Edison was apparently quite successful, to the point where some languages other than English have a word that sounds like "hello" (for example, Russian "allo") which is used only when answering the phone.

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[-] waigl@lemmy.world 33 points 2 months ago

Funny thing: "Hello" was actually not a common greeting until that point.

[-] LunarLoony 17 points 2 months ago

I've always been curious how people greeted each other before "hello". Did we just say "good day" and variations thereof?

[-] Assman@sh.itjust.works 40 points 2 months ago

Most English speakers actually used "wazzup" like those Budweiser commercials

[-] scutiger@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago
[-] LunarLoony 10 points 2 months ago
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[-] maculata@aussie.zone 27 points 2 months ago

So apparently the new shit spam evil calls can record the most minimal sample of your voice and then spoof it to your friends and family…

It almost seems worth saying nothing until ‘they’ say something, but then, what if they are a spoofed caller…

Oh shit. Just don’t use phones any more.

If you don't recognize the number, answer in a funny accent. That's how you defeat the voice harvesters.

ring ring Sombrero repair, como es?

ring ring [deep voice] Investigations.

ring ring HJECKIN?

ring ring [high pitched voice] OOIIO BO IMA SO GLAD YE RANG DOLLINGA

ring ring thinkyefurcullinpapajhonzzewoodyalacktatryourpapalopadoussoosageasperigusdoughdopoloostoday?

ring ring [monkey noises]

ring ring OOOOOHHHHHHHH COME ON EILEEN, I BEG OF YA PLEASE

ring ring [raspy voice] Jerome?

ring ring [dictation voice, right up against microphone] THANK YOU FOR FALLING KMART. PLEASE LET US KNOW WHAT YOU ARE CALLING ABOUT SO WE MAY DIRECT YOUR CALL

ring ring [moaning so intense it would make Sarah Grey blush]

ring ring WEAR MAH CHIL' SUPPORT AT JEROME

ring ring [play Gilbert Garfield directly into microphone]

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[-] kameecoding@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

Unless I am expecting a call, such as a delivery I just dont answer phone calls, if it's important they will call again, if it's less important they can message me like a normal human being.

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[-] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 27 points 2 months ago

opens phone, "...moshi mo..." infinibonked for weebery

[-] CaptainSpaceman@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Had to look it up, and the story is actually really interesting. Heres a great article from NPR

https://www.npr.org/sections/krulwich/2011/02/17/133785829/a-shockingly-short-history-of-hello

[-] LightTrails@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago
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[-] davemeech@lemmy.ca 23 points 2 months ago

Ahoy, guys.

Be the change you want to see in this world, don't let Thomas Edison continue to shit on everything from his grave.

[-] chauncey@hexbear.net 23 points 2 months ago

Fun fact - this is why Mr. Burns always answers the phone with "ahoy"

[-] sqw 19 points 2 months ago

my go-to when im forced to answer unknown callers is "who is this?". then i disconnect if they dont answer my question

[-] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 10 points 2 months ago

"Who dares to disturb my slumber?"

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[-] Randelung@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

Let's compromise!

Alloy.

Or what we can agree on: HO. Omg Santa was right all along.

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[-] MoonJellyfish@lemmy.today 14 points 2 months ago

Thomas Edison kinda looks like my granduncle who was beating his wife.

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[-] niktemadur@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

Imagine Edison trying to patent the "hello" greeting to get royalties every time someone answered the phone.
Then the incel fanbois defending Edison, insisting he invented the term 'hello".

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[-] daveywaveyboy@feddit.nl 14 points 2 months ago
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[-] _sideffect@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

I answer with "Yes?"

It gets straight to the point

[-] variants@possumpat.io 21 points 2 months ago

What if you end up in a verbal contract

[-] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

Then say "yes?*"

*This is a question asking what you are calling for and does not create joinder.

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[-] dumbass@leminal.space 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

When I see a post like this, I see a new friend.

Fuck Edison you idea stealing cuck.

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[-] dogsoahC@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

Holy shit, the Captain had it right all along!

[-] 01011@monero.town 8 points 2 months ago

"What do you want?" is how I've been answering the phone of late.

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this post was submitted on 28 May 2024
829 points (97.7% liked)

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