105

You'll realize that lines total bullcrap in 10 seconds.

Aries works for this too.

all 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 51 points 1 month ago

My trick with astrology people is "i don't believe in astrology because i'm an aquarius".

[-] kristina@hexbear.net 31 points 1 month ago

my trick with astrology people is pulling down my pants and taking a shit on the floor (i've been holding it a long time so it comes out quick) whenever they speak

[-] Angel@hexbear.net 29 points 1 month ago

"Thank God I'm an atheist."

[-] Boxscape 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

What if they hit you with a lil', when the moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars ♫?

[-] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago
[-] queermunist@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 month ago

I'm definitely going to remember this

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 40 points 1 month ago

I'm not a formal "astrologist", but I did choose bulbasaur in Pokemon Red. This means I have all of the good traits and none of the bad ones. I can mate with any other sign or pokemon but choose not to because bulbasaur is the wisdom symbol.

[-] M68040@hexbear.net 37 points 1 month ago

Assigned Slytherin At Birth

[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 30 points 1 month ago

Scorpios are okay but by the time you can make more than a couple of them you're better off using your workshops to make onagers or just saving the resources for trebuchets.

[-] tamagotchicowboy@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago

Picking up on just enough astrology is a good way to pick up hot people with that crystal aesthetic. Then they look at my chart and its a recreation of the beginning of Toby Dammit so it doesn't last long.

[-] Saeculum@hexbear.net 30 points 1 month ago

The downside is that they believe in astrology.

[-] Kuori@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago

yea the number of cute lesbians who have astrology brainworms is agonizingly high

[-] tamagotchicowboy@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

True, but there's worse things that someone can believe in. Upside can get on their good side with very little effort.

[-] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago

Uh oh are we gonna have another astrology struggle session

[-] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 32 points 1 month ago

I'm ENTJ. What's your sign?

[-] DrCrustacean@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago
[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

Antonio Gramsci's Useless Intellectual

[-] the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I was just thinking it's been awhile since we got a good kerfluffle and astrology is juuust stupid enough to be right for it. here's hoping.

[-] PapaEmeritusIII@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago
[-] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 30 points 1 month ago

If you have misgivings about astrology it's because you hate women (pay no attention to the people who have been discriminated against on housing or jobs because of their astrological sign)

[-] ClimateChangeAnxiety@hexbear.net 32 points 1 month ago

Not liking a system that assigns value to human lives based on immutable characteristics determined at birth is actually misogynist and homophobic sweaty

[-] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago

Actually, it's because you hate women AND queers

[-] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 17 points 1 month ago

Oh we've had a whole bunch, they've just never been sitewide brawls like some of the more notable struggle sessions

[-] tamagotchicowboy@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago

Book title: The Hellenistic Astrology of Outdoor Cats and Asswiping

[-] autism_2@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago

The audacity to be born in April. I think someone should kill you

[-] DerRedMax@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

My partner just finished a certificate program for astrology. I was definitely a skeptic but I support her, especially in things she’s passionate about. I’ve come to understand it as basically an elaborate way of tracking patterns in living things from people to stars.

I’m fascinated how the astrological calendar lines up with other calendars. It’s clear Netanyahu is following the Jewish calendar for the war and it’s lined up with events in the astrological calendar. There are indications that something major will happen in the conflict - my guess is agression towards Lebanon - in the next ten days with the fast of the 17th of Tammuz on July 23. The Anaretic Full Moon in Capricorn is on July 21.

That being said, she probably would laugh at the jokes in this thread and loathes armchair internet “astrologers”.

[-] Black_Mald_Futures@hexbear.net 18 points 1 month ago

an elaborate way of hallucinating a "pattern"

[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago

Or the other way: A built-in schedule to follow, particularly if that schedule comes with predictions of good/bad luck.

[-] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago

Ask em about Geminis.

[-] Babs@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

I used to live with some astrology lesbians and they were very insistent on knowing my exact minute of birth.

No idea what they ended up doing with that information ngl.

[-] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 16 points 1 month ago

You fool, that's all they needed for the ritual to discover your true name, now you've granted them power over yourself!

[-] Babs@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

Oh no, I'm being overpowered by the astrology lesbians? How awful! soviet-bottom

[-] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

I knew a lady that was a Scorpio. She had a mug with her sign and the little positive traits on it. Absolutely wonderful person and character in her own right. I can imagine it was an annoying thing to hear people talking shit with actual bile-filled intent.

[-] AlpineSteakHouse@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago

Astrology is just a socially acceptable way to ask when your birthday is.

[-] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

...and then make sweeping judgements about someone with it.

[-] Barabas@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

I just like astrology because I invariably get the dickhead signs in all the different ways people look at it.

[-] Owl@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

Scorpio is the most common sign so hating scorpios is actually elitism or something.

[-] marxisthayaca@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

I’m a cancer and that’s the best sign. Suck it

[-] Black_Mald_Futures@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

Carcinization

[-] Lemmygradwontallowme@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

What's wrong with Scorpio?

I could care less than the fact that it exists...

That being said, if you're born beyond July 31 and before Jan. 1, your day of birth is probably lame... why didn't ye get out of the womb earlier, plus, it reminds me of the end of summer breaks

Other than that, I don't see anything that stops them from being their own person...

[-] duderium@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

You gotta problem with scorpios???? This is anti-scorpio discrimination! anti-italian-discrimination

[-] CupcakeOfSpice@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

Okay, but do you KNOW Vriska?

this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2024
105 points (99.1% liked)

chapotraphouse

13390 readers
610 users here now

Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.

No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer

Vaush posts go in the_dunk_tank

Dunk posts in general go in the_dunk_tank, not here

Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from the_dunk_tank

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS