this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2025
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Science Memes

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[–] Majorllama@lemmy.world 165 points 1 week ago (3 children)

They are forgetting that TERRIBLE design choice where if you accidentally bite the inside of your cheek it swells up making it easier to bite it on accident again and again.

[–] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 32 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You're just supposed to bite that bit off. Otherwise it's just going to keep happening.

[–] hinterlufer@lemmy.world 54 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Instructions unclear, but I can now drink through a straw without opening my mouth

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

on accident

Rather than by purpose? #54%

[–] Majorllama@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (8 children)

I'm a masochist but I have my limits. Lol

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[–] moonlight@fedia.io 110 points 1 week ago (11 children)
  • separated genetalia from waste systems

  • removed body hair and baldness

  • fixed acne glitch

  • added ability to change biological sex, with default neutral configuration

  • rerouted laryngeal nerve

  • uterus lining is now reabsorbed automatically

  • reinforced spine and knees

  • simplified foot structure

  • adjusted mental pathways to better adapt to modern environment

[–] lena@gregtech.eu 27 points 1 week ago

added ability to change biological sex

PLEASE

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

i'm not sure i want to know what the first point would look like, moving either the genitals or the anus sounds horrifying, and i especially don't want to imagine where penis wielders would urinate or ejaculate from if those functions are separated..

..perhaps we'd do like octopi, reach under and fetch a sperm package that we present instead of a wedding ring? Or maybe let's just leave it like it is and not create horrors.

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 1 week ago (11 children)

Just have us piss from asshole

[–] kryptonidas@lemmings.world 23 points 1 week ago

Birds had it right all along with one waste exit.

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[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I like baldness and body hair! They should be optional too

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[–] kersploosh@sh.itjust.works 61 points 1 week ago (1 children)

-cartilage in joints can regenerate

-body can synthesize its own vitamin c

Other species already do these things smh.

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[–] Godnroc@lemmy.world 58 points 1 week ago (5 children)
  • Eating and breathing pathways no longer intersect. This should prevent the bug when food could block the airway and result in death.
[–] scops@reddthat.com 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah, it's crazy to me that people believe we were "intelligently designed" when our food hole and breathing hole are so close that we can only use one at a time, and that our waste dumping grounds are right next to the amusement park.

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[–] Meowstermind@slrpnk.net 46 points 1 week ago (3 children)

We need to have some process engineers look at the pregnancy and birthing process, there's much room for improvement. Maybe take a totally new approach to it, it's just not it.

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[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago (2 children)

2.0? Bruh, humans are still on pre-v1 beta

Frankly, I don't know how anyone can look at the absolute shit show that is the human body and go "yup, this was totally intelligently designed"

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Apparently a lot of males are still in alpha.

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[–] T156@lemmy.world 35 points 1 week ago (13 children)

Humans do bioluminisce, it's just too weak for human eyes and most detectors.

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[–] callyral@pawb.social 34 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Well, we do glow in infrared...

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[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 32 points 1 week ago (7 children)
  • Suffocation sensation is now tied to a lack of oxygen instead of an abundance of carbon dioxide.
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[–] Sebbe@lemmy.sebbem.se 30 points 1 week ago (3 children)

The mosquito. By far the worst part of the human body!

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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Ahem... maybe new players forgot this, but humans have been bioluminescent since the oxygenic respiration patch ages ago.

https://www.sciencealert.com/you-can-t-see-it-but-humans-actually-glow-in-visible-light

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[–] absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 29 points 1 week ago

Add new receptors to be able to feel wetness.
This is it cold or wet thing we have going on is just crappy design.

[–] tiny@midwest.social 29 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I would have thought eating and breathing from the same hole would have been in this release 😞 guess I'll just have to wait till 3.0

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[–] frezik@midwest.social 29 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (9 children)

If teeth regenerate, do we have to constantly chew on things like rodents? Or is it an as-needed thing?

[–] kopasz7@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 week ago

No, you just get a new set growing in the gums.

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[–] Zwiebel@feddit.org 26 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Casually forgot about cancer

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That’s going to take some time, it’s a kernel bug.

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[–] executivechimp@discuss.tchncs.de 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] brokenlcd@feddit.it 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Well if we want to get pedantic, adrenaline exists.

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[–] TDCN@feddit.dk 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Can we also fix the depression glitch where happiness points aren't collected and your brain energy bar depleats completely with no way of regeneration without hacking the brain with 3rd party tool antidepressants.

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[–] WrenFeathers@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

I’d like someone to at least look into the whole ADHD thing. It’s been going on for some time now without any word on why it’s there, or what it’s for- and aside from funny and relatable memes, it’s yet to provide any positive results.

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[–] Furbag@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I want my prehensile tail back, not this vestigial piece of SHIT!

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[–] nthavoc@lemmy.today 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'd like to request a bug fix: Eyelashes falling into eyeball. Need to fix the physics so they probably spring away or wash out easier.

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[–] philpo@feddit.org 18 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Can we rather make the kernel more stable before we change the design? These instabilities cause the whole process to hang itself up or terminate FAR to often!

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[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (10 children)

These are the sort of genetic engineering/eugenists I want to see. None of that "deleting gay gene" or "breeding smart people" pseudo science garbage.

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