this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
80 points (97.6% liked)

Ask Lemmy

32216 readers
1495 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

As a machinist a lathe is the first thing that comes to mind, you get some clothing or even a rope caught in the wrong place and it'll eat you alive

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] everett@lemmy.ml 53 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I'm imagining the villain putting a gun to his head because of a one-star review.

[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Beating a villian through cyberbullying would be one of the funnier ways to win

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That's the gist of what we're doing to Elon these days. In case you weren't aware, read up on how his PoE livestream went.

[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ya I just haven't seen it in a movie yet

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

I hope it'll be in a documentary one day.

[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Usually: Power over Ethernet
In this context: Path of Exile

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Madblood@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

I could bore him to death with Teams meetings.

[–] Bitflip@lemmy.ml 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I work at a tool store and often fantasize about a zombie apocalypse or something starting while I'm at work. Should fit this situation, so let's go! If it happens in... Aisle 1: dual wielding a drill and heatgun Aisle 2: dual wielding circular saw and angle grinder Aisle 3: put on safety goggles, strangle them with AirTool hoses Aisle 4: dual wielding air nailers! Aisle 5: giant wrench Aisle 6: screwdriver to the face Aisle 7: steel automotive jack handles Aisle 8: wench snare traps everywhere Aisle 9: pickaxe Aisle 10: generator fumes Aisle 11: tumbling tower of tires Back wall: hammers!

[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago

Almost like that weapons museum in one of the john wick movies

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

If there's one thing I've learned from horror movies it's that unless you have some weird satanic ritual, nothing can stop the bad guy.

But also, I'm a janitor at McDonald's; I could probably slow them down with soapy water or even just leaving the floor oily. I doubt they wear non-slip shoes. Pull some Scooby Doo shit, slick up the floor, Jason comes after me and slides into the freezer, which I then lock.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

The autopsy saw. It's a gleaming monstrosity of stainless steel designed to part human flesh like Moses parted the red sea. You can stack zombies as deep as you want, the saw won't even slow down. The only thing that will stop it is the length of the mechanical arm it hangs from, because it's unfortunately too heavy for most people to lift.

[–] biofaust@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Marketing strategy powerpoints

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Recently retired from a place that makes rocket engines, and there's just so much. Start with a rocket engine itself - the combustion gasses are like 3300 C (6000 F) with more than 400,000 lb of thrust. But there's a lot associated. We dealt with lots of liquid oxygen and liquid hydrogen. We have a giant braze oven that we can put a whole rocket nozzle into. It's quite an arsenal.

[–] whotookkarl@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Carpal tunnel slasher can't hold a knife

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago

I'm an auto mechanic, honestly like 80% of the things I touch every day could kill most things if applied properly.

Thinking about reach and convenience from my toolbox, I'm thinking the 5' steel prybar (effectively a 10 lb baseball bat with a sharp tip) or the cv axle I took out earlier. Honorable mention to one of a variety of possible chemical attacks or just straight up dropping a car on it.

[–] Opinionhaver@feddit.uk 7 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Most of my tools could - just a matter of how many swings it would take. Running them over with my work truck would probably be the quickest and chainsaw the messiest.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] moopet@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

You could definitely kill a villain with my laptop, if you fired it with sufficient force from a cannon.

[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Graphic Designer so maybe if it was a lawnmower man situation

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

I commute, so train?

[–] binary45@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

I work at a bowling alley with a bar, so there’s quite a few ways.

  • Hit them with a bowling ball.
  • Beat them with a bumper stick.
  • Make a Molotov cocktail.
  • Use the knives in the kitchen to stab them.
[–] Dagge@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

I work with IT but in a meat processing plant, the giant saw that cuts pigs in half would certainly do it. Even though all of the slaughtering and butchering have been dismantled many years ago due to cutbacks, it would be a very good location for a horror movie or an augmented reality experience or something like that, it's almost like everyone just up and left.

[–] _haha_oh_wow_@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A server rack full of servers, dropped on the monster like a cartoon piano.

[–] DontTreadOnBigfoot@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Don't need to drop the rack, the monster will be sliced to ribbons on the aluminum razor blades the rack is made from

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I work in a restaurant, so... garlic?

[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I wanna see you with an electric cake mixer and a determined expression.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago

Gas/pressure cooker explosion, divert or bust lines to flood the freezer, I know industrial dough mixers can really ruin you

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] TwanHE@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

The cardboard crusher probably, just have to tip them over the edge. Puts them nicely in 1.5x1.5x1m cubes

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 5 points 1 month ago

TPS report cover sheet.

[–] floo@retrolemmy.com 5 points 1 month ago

Crushing depression.

Although that’s not really for my job since I don’t have one.

[–] Cptn_Slow@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

From what I've seen, airplane crashes can be pretty fatal!

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Well, I work with IT, Ships, and industrial robotics, so I'm thinking that the villain gets maimed by a robot controlled by a perl script to the point where he is unable to prevent his ship from sinking.

EDIT: Oh, and don't gets me started on the seismic source: 4000 cubic inches of compressed air at 2000psi. Seismic sources are scary. In water ut will turn anyone in yhe water into jell-o. I've coordinated these with simultaneous diving ops, and the divers usually call us to stop if they're within 3-4 kilometers.

[–] SaltSong@startrek.website 4 points 1 month ago

I have several 300 gallon mixers at work, and a QA lab. If the mixer won't do the job, I'll just pour acids in until it is reduced to soup.

Then I'm fleeing the country because maintenance will make the eldrich horror look like the easy choice.

[–] viscacha@feddit.org 4 points 1 month ago

Suffering through eight straight hours of „business alignment workshops“.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm unemployed rn so uh, some dab wax?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

There is usually an alligator or two (or three, or..) in the pond by my work. They definitely get big enough to kill a villain before anyone bothers calling to have them relocated.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

There’s a kid I work with that is going to end up stabbing me with a pencil. He’s gotten pretty close a few times.

The lab closet when I was teaching science might have worked. The stuff you let kids work with is as close to water as you can make it, but the stuff for demos could easily take out a Jason or a Freddy.

[–] starlinguk@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I could mistranslate an MRI manual and they could fry themselves to death?

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I would print out the code and Rube Goldbergian series of database triggers that run some of our internal apps; to the untrained mind, it would probably have an effect similar to looking into Medusa's eyes.

[–] finalarbiter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago

Lock that fucker in the burnout oven and see how long they exist at 800°F (~426°C)

[–] superkret@feddit.org 3 points 1 month ago (3 children)

The printing press. The monster's blood would be spread out over 70000 newspapers.

[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

Would be an interesting way to spread a vampire curse

[–] Tujio@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

What's black and white and red all over?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] some_guy 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The elevators that always breakdown. They were doing a repair today and knocked out power to the whole building.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Landless2029@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I work from home...

Best I got is an old fashioned paper cutter that looked way too heavy duty.

Cue the scene from The Faculty where the bad boy twists off the blade of that thing.

load more comments
view more: next ›