this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2025
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Chapotraphouse

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[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 83 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Who would have thought? A man eating nothing but meat has issues with inflammation...... It's not like a diet completely devoid of antioxidants or fiber could have a negative impact on your health or anything.

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 51 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

What do you mean? Just look at any of the reddit carnivore subs, they're the picture of health. Pay no attention to the litany of posts that go something like "I've been eating 4 Big Macs a day for 3 months and my gastrointestinal system regularly has cramps that make me curl up in the fetal position"

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 43 points 9 months ago

"I've been eating 4 Big Macs a day for 3 months and my gastrointestinal system regularly has cramps that make me curl up in the fetal position"

Obviously that's because of the buns dude, carbs and especially sesame seeds are basically poison. If we're not birds why eat what birds eat?

[–] emdash@hexbear.net 20 points 9 months ago

I looked once and there were at least four posts on the first page that were some variation of "I haven't pooped in two weeks, is this normal?"

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 53 points 9 months ago

Only eating meat helped keep the symptoms under control but it hasn’t been enough recently.

a real all meat diet has never been tried peterson-pain

[–] Philosoraptor@hexbear.net 51 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I supervise the philosophy club at my school, and the students had just reached out to try to get him to do a guest appearance so they could dunk on him and try to get him to cry. Disappointing.

[–] purpleworm@hexbear.net 36 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

He'd probably ask you to pay him $20,000 to appear, so don't feel too bad.

[–] Philosoraptor@hexbear.net 15 points 9 months ago

That's what I told them also.

[–] Horse@lemmygrad.ml 47 points 9 months ago

has his daughter poisoned him again?
critical support etc.

[–] Umechan@hexbear.net 42 points 9 months ago (1 children)

"Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome"

Isn't that just being a gammon?

He should just keep his room clean instead of blaming everything on genetics.

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The irony of a guy who got famous for telling chuds to clean their room dying because he didn't clean his room would be fantastic.

[–] Umechan@hexbear.net 12 points 9 months ago

It's a matter of fact that there's mold in this world. JP isn't capable of changing the world, and it's delusional for him to assume that he can.

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 39 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I would simply use superior genetics to defeat inferior genetics in the marketplace of genetics occuring in my body-mind using the latest brain supplements from the Joe Rogan podcast.

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 12 points 9 months ago

I would simply not be genetically inferior

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 37 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Genetic predisposition?

So I guess Mr. Perfect ain’t “Ze glorious Aryan” after all.

Go on Lobster man, use your superior pedigree to get out of this one.

[–] Umechan@hexbear.net 23 points 9 months ago

"Genetic predisposition" is just an excuse for not exercising personal responsibility. He should detoxify himself by his bootstraps.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 20 points 9 months ago

All these "aryan ubermensch" are actually total wimps, goes all the way back to their dear leader hitler.

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 36 points 9 months ago

black-mold-futures BMF strikes again

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 34 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Can anyone more medically knowledgeable then me confirm, is he suffering right now? Like that's gotta hurt, right?

[–] axont@hexbear.net 26 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

A relative of mine has CIRS and it was misdiagnosed for years as chronic fatigue syndrome because the symptoms are virtually identical, if that gives you a reference to what it entails

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 24 points 9 months ago

jordan is just an eepy wittle fashboi 🥺

[–] FedPosterman5000@hexbear.net 33 points 9 months ago

Lmao dying by being too toxic. Appropriate

[–] OldSoulHippie@hexbear.net 29 points 9 months ago

No way! He always looked so healthy!

At least these shitbags are still starting to die horribly

[–] Cowbee@hexbear.net 26 points 9 months ago

Patriots are in control real-navi-patriot

[–] TankieTanuki@hexbear.net 25 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It can detoxify outdoor air though?

[–] ThermonuclearEgg@hexbear.net 18 points 9 months ago

This has never been tested because he has never touched grass

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 25 points 9 months ago
[–] TowardsTheFuture@lemmy.zip 25 points 9 months ago

Oh so saying the man who can’t not respond to basic statements with an inflammatory response has chronic inflammatory response syndrome? And this is… not a joke? Oh… so the universe just fucking got his ass? Damn. Wrecked.

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 23 points 9 months ago

He should go for a sabbatical at the Rowling estate.

[–] spudnik@hexbear.net 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

There are spores everywhere, for those with the eyes to see

[–] dat_math@hexbear.net 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

for those with the ~~eyes to see~~ lungs to inoculate

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 20 points 9 months ago

T H E M O L D H A S C O M E

Resident evil 9 plot confirmed - play as the black mold from 7 and go around hunting right wingers

[–] huf@hexbear.net 20 points 9 months ago (1 children)

wait wait wait, so when he was crying during interviews, that was actually pus seeping out of his eyes?

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

This man's feelings are literally pus

[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 20 points 9 months ago
[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 11 points 9 months ago

Is this the "mold watch" I've been hearing people occasionally mention?

[–] vegeta1@hexbear.net 10 points 9 months ago

He's a human mold so....

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 9 points 9 months ago

He's gonna be patient zero for the last of us fungus outbreak

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 8 points 9 months ago

Damn. Seems like he should've probably cleaned his room then.

[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 7 points 9 months ago

Congratulations JP, you literally stupided yourself into being the weakest bitch in the entire world. How do people listen to this guy as a role model for masculinity? I will never understand.

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 6 points 9 months ago

I guess that's what happens when you're a vile human being.

[–] tombruzzo@hexbear.net 6 points 9 months ago

Solidarity with comrade mold