Damn, this works against all my enemies. MAGA and Cincinnati Reds fans.
this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2026
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FUCK THE CARDINALS!
On that, we can agree!
Signed, a Pirates fan.
What about the innocent Red Sox fans?
you ain't innocent, don't front. only teams from your division anyone likes are the Jays and the Rays
— Unbiased nats fan (also in danger from these crows, but willing to switch to the alt caps in my profile pic)
Great idea. Crows can remember faces so when the magas boot off and attack the crow.
A grudge will be born
Worse they seen describe you to the others so multiple will know them.
Hope the birds stay safe
Crows are pretty good at the old peck'n'dodge, and pretty tough generally, especially when in a murder.
I think we could extend this training to seagulls, baiting the MAGA hats with French fries. Get started now to ruin the nazis' summer.
extend this training to seagulls
Now that's a winning idea, I'd feel pretty bad if a crow got hurt. Fucking seagulls man, screw those things.
They act exactly like Republicans: MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!
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Yeah, if a MAGA pulled a gun and tried to shoot a crow, he'd be more likely to shoot his MAGA companion, as the crows laugh at them.
OTOH, if he managed to hit the crow, ALL the other crows are going to get revenge.
I like the spirit behind the idea. I strongly dislike putting crows in harm's way, 'cuz we all know a sizable chunk of MAGA fucks wouldn't feel a shred of remorse if they managed to get hold of a crow that went after their hat, or otherwise just pulled out a gun and shot them.
I would imagine that the crows are in places where brandishing a firearm to fire on a bird isn't allowed. Also, while I'm not one of these fascist fuck faces, I've been swooped by red wing black birds, and when it happens the first instinct is, "Fuck! Oh fuck! Bird!!!".
"I feared for my life", if they can use it to justify murdering humans they'll absolutely allow it as a defense to pulling a gun on a bird
train them to poop in them instead.
The crows can quit at any time
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Not really fair to the crows.
One could argue this provides them better long term opportunities
That's a cute jackdaw!
Here's the thing...
First the hat; then the eyes.
Then the carotid artery.
Biz_dave is serving the country like a fine outstanding citizen.
Be like Biz_dave. 👍
as a Canadian, I approve
Could you... Could you teach geese this? Please?
I don't think they can be tamed
No no we just want to hire them
I’m just a Phillies fan, I swear!!!
All the more reason
We’re the most losing team in sports history, haven’t we suffered enough?!? The Braves being in second place is a minor consolation
They should use a MAGA hat as the bait hat so crows will know exactly what to look for
eh then for their content they would have to blur out the words to prevent free publicity. Easier to just use a blank so there is less video editing.
maybe OOP didn't want to touch a real maga hat, and I can't blame them
That's fair 😆
I believe they would be able to tell the difference, so yeah 👍
Inb4 MAGA start legitimately believing that they are drones. Like, serious MTG and man-made hurricane level.
"Birds aren't real" is already a thing
That's more a joke, I mean real tweaker level stuff
"Flat Earth" started as a joke too
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And suddenly it dawns on me why Ferrari's F1 team don't wear their usual red caps during US races...
My wife and I have been discussing training crows to go after ICE agents.
Discuss only. I swear.
You could train them not to trust men wearing hats and face masks. Then the crows will likely harass anyone who fits the description.
I am using Fedora btw
If he hates fascists why is he on threads
Not all heros wear capes
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