780
We Got You (mander.xyz)
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] KellysNokia@lemmy.world 118 points 4 weeks ago

Thoughts and prayers for the one patient for whom it actually was a freak accident

[-] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 4 weeks ago

Probably the priest who fell on a potato while cooking naked

[-] Deepus@lemm.ee 16 points 4 weeks ago

How'd you know he was a priest if he was naked?

[-] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 4 weeks ago

He was praying when it happened. "Oh my god"

[-] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 27 points 3 weeks ago

Fun fact: If you actually fell and landed on something with enough force to make it's way inside of you the object would quite literally rip your asshole. When it's a true accident, it's very clear due to the blood loss and whatnot

[-] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 9 points 4 weeks ago

Reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld when Frank gets a pasta statue stuck up his ass

[-] FinalRemix@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago

Million-to-one shot, doc!

[-] AngryishHumanoid@reddthat.com 95 points 4 weeks ago

This sign is bullshit, I accidentally put my prostate massager in my butt all the time, sometimes twice in one day.

[-] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 30 points 4 weeks ago

You should try doing it on purpose at least once

[-] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 90 points 4 weeks ago

If i ever get something stuck up my ass while trying to pleasure myself and need medical help to remove it, I will absolutely try to come up with the most convoluted and ridiculous story for how it got there. Not out of embarrasment, but just to give the ER nurses a good laugh.

[-] li10@feddit.uk 67 points 4 weeks ago

who tf putting a key up there?

[-] over_clox@lemmy.world 66 points 4 weeks ago

Sorry, I thought it would unlock it so I could get all the other items out. Guess it was the wrong key though.. ☹️

[-] geogle@lemmy.world 19 points 4 weeks ago
[-] alquicksilver@lemmy.world 25 points 4 weeks ago

No, it got stuck because it's dark, so I had to look for it with my flashlight.

[-] over_clox@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago

It jingles when I fart. Also there's this weird squeaky sound.

On an unrelated note, I can't seem to find my rubber duckie...

[-] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 4 weeks ago

consider putting a magnet up there to get the key

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 44 points 4 weeks ago

Where else can you store them while swimming?

[-] absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 13 points 4 weeks ago

Ah the old prison wallet. Classic.

[-] Eyeuhnluuung@lemmy.world 17 points 4 weeks ago

I work in a ER and can assure you people high on meth put all sorts of crazy shit in their butt.

[-] Deconceptualist@lemm.ee 17 points 4 weeks ago

Dare I ask, why? I mean obviously meth addicts aren't known for their shrewd decisions in general, but is there some sensory or cognitive change in particular that compels them to put foreign objects in their butts more than say, alcoholics would?

[-] Eyeuhnluuung@lemmy.world 21 points 4 weeks ago

Mainly the intense drive for sexual stimulation on meth combined with disinhibition and just general bad decision making.

[-] themoken@startrek.website 4 points 4 weeks ago

Also curious. Possibly just sex / masturbation getting out of hand with intense stimulants, or maybe meth induced paranoia makes putting something in your ass for safe keeping seem reasonable... Meth heads generally aren't hanging out in the safest conditions.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] khannie@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago

I heard about a guy once, who was a POW, and his friend wanted him to keep a watch for his son so he shoved it way up there.

The reference for the younger among us.

[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 41 points 4 weeks ago

This sign was made by someone who's never wiped with single-ply before.

[-] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 33 points 4 weeks ago

...and I got news for you, if someone is trying to get you to pull marbles out their ass, then that's their fetish... Because no one is worried that small marble sized balls won't eventually come out naturally... They're looking to bring attention that they're up there (and possibly to get someone to try to get them out). People are weird.

[-] frezik@midwest.social 31 points 4 weeks ago

Given US healthcare, that's gotta be more expensive than a leather fetish.

[-] over_clox@lemmy.world 12 points 4 weeks ago

Speaking from experience? 🤔

[-] Neon@lemmy.world 11 points 4 weeks ago

Dude, if I have anything up my ass, I'm going to the hospital asap.

"it's going to come out anyway" sounds like Darwin-award last words

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Cagi@lemmy.ca 27 points 4 weeks ago

"Million to one shot, doc"

[-] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 5 points 4 weeks ago

It was a fusilli Jerry

[-] sundray@lemmus.org 24 points 4 weeks ago

"We are discreet. But we also think it's funny."

[-] the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 19 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

I know from first hand experience you can't do it by accident as one time, hung over and showering in the dark in the early morning i got a little dizzy and sat down.

Perfectly meeting my starfish to the shampoo bottle on the floor. It could not have been more on target had i attempted this.

I shot up, seeing stars like for real for only the second time in my life. I wasnt dizzy, I was up and at em' baby. Wooo what a rush! Hurt a lot for a minute. Hard as i sat down I don't think that bottle tip made it a millimeter into my pooper.

So yeah, impossible

[-] rockerface@lemm.ee 13 points 4 weeks ago

The sphincter is one of the few muscles that is contracted by default, and you have to consciously loose. So yeah, unless you have some medical condition, not very likely to get something in by accident

[-] the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 8 points 4 weeks ago

contracted by default

Cool, what others are there? Also, goofy question: what's the relative strength of this 'outer anus'? It wasn't listed in my search for strongest muscles and most results are tips on gaining anus strength

[-] Infynis@midwest.social 14 points 4 weeks ago

most results are tips on gaining anus strength

Has the Olympics gone too far?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 16 points 4 weeks ago

... that sign ... they just kept it because it seemed funny after they retrieved it from a pacient.

[-] krimson@lemmy.world 9 points 4 weeks ago
[-] Alawami@lemmy.ml 17 points 4 weeks ago

Fastest salmonella in the west.

[-] ruk_n_rul@monyet.cc 4 points 4 weeks ago

It comes out the way it went in 😂

[-] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 6 points 4 weeks ago

What if it's fertilized?

[-] GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 4 points 4 weeks ago

Scramble it.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] SweetCitrusBuzz@beehaw.org 9 points 4 weeks ago
[-] don@lemm.ee 31 points 4 weeks ago

Because pineapples are a bit trickier, obviously

[-] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 19 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Especially if there is already a pizza in there - people get rally mad & very political

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 8 points 4 weeks ago

Relatively smooth, round and 'filling', comes with a convenient stem to hold on to that definitely won't break on extraction

[-] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 4 points 4 weeks ago

... I can only assume it's like peanut butter with dogs, but you know, for horses.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Yorick@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 weeks ago

Missed the opportunity to put a golden watch on that picture.

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2024
780 points (98.9% liked)

Science Memes

10542 readers
1334 users here now

Welcome to c/science_memes @ Mander.xyz!

A place for majestic STEMLORD peacocking, as well as memes about the realities of working in a lab.



Rules

  1. Don't throw mud. Behave like an intellectual and remember the human.
  2. Keep it rooted (on topic).
  3. No spam.
  4. Infographics welcome, get schooled.


Research Committee

Other Mander Communities

Science and Research

Biology and Life Sciences

Physical Sciences

Humanities and Social Sciences

Practical and Applied Sciences

Memes

Miscellaneous

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS